


Back Home Again

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Pre-White House (West Wing), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-21
Updated: 2006-10-21
Packaged: 2019-05-15 20:54:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 50,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14797800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Back in New England, Jed and Abbey contemplate having another child; meanwhile, Abbey feels she has to prove herself in medical school at Harvard and Jed deals with a family crisis that causes him to come to terms with his relationship with his father and how it affects his relationship with Elizabeth





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

It was August 1973. President Richard Nixon sat in the White House amid the height of the Watergate investigations, the country was engulfed by a sea of protesters over the U.S. involvement in Vietnam, an act of Congress was about to take affect, halting the United States bombing on Cambodia, American Graffiti had just been released in theaters, the song The Morning After topped Billboard Charts, and in the top floor of a three-story walkup apartment nestled in the heart of Boston, Massachusetts, the Bartlet family -- Jed, Abbey, and little Elizabeth -- made their home.

The two-bedroom brownstone on Wigglesworth Street was only minutes from Northeastern University where Jed taught undergraduate classes in Business/Government Relations and Economics. A few blocks away, Abbey had completed two years of medical school at Harvard's Boston campus. And Liz would soon start public school at nearby Longwood Elementary.

Inside the cozy apartment, Jed turned his steely stare towards Abbey, carefully reading her expression in hopes of finding some measure of agreement. A slight nod convinced him his instincts were right on target. A quick glance at Elizabeth's beaming face confirmed the notion and with that, he moved his gingerbread man a few spaces, avoiding using the card that allowed him a shortcut to the Gumdrop Pass, ensuring a victory for the little girl.

Liz bent her tiny fingers around the edge of her card, then moved her own gingerbread man towards the Candy Castle, a.k.a., the winner's circle. A loud cheer with heavenly-pointed arms followed, reminiscent of the way Jed usually declared a triumphant outcome. 

"She is her father's daughter," Abbey remarked between bursts of laughter.

Liz began to clear the board with visions of setting it up once again. "Let's play again!" 

"I think we've had enough Candyland for tonight. You need to get ready for your bath," Jed reminded her. 

"One more...please!"

Abbey sensed yet another five-year-old triumph. Anytime Elizabeth turned her baby blue eyes towards her father, the word "no" escaped Jed's vocabulary and she was the one who would have to interfere with a firm refusal.

"I don't think so, Sweetheart. I'm sure if you ask him to, your father will read you a story after your bath though."

Jed geared himself up for the predictable whine that usually followed, but on this night, Liz was interrupted by the chiming of the doorbell. Noticing the guilty grin that washed over Abbey's face, he approached the door, twisting the knob and looking away from the swinging wood.

"Long time no see." 

The familiar voice caused Jed to snap his head back towards the open entryway. "Leo! Jenny!"

Following his gesture, the couple stepped inside the apartment.

"It's so good to see you again." Abbey welcomed Jenny with a hug.

"You too."

"You knew about this?" Jed asked his wife.

"Who do you think invited them?"

"We're just passing through on our way back from Niagara Falls. Abbey asked us to stop over for the weekend," Leo confirmed after greeting Abbey with a kiss to the cheek.

"We haven't seen you since last year," Abbey added. "And I swear, if Jed doesn't get some male bonding time, he's going to go crazy."

Jenny noticed an apprehensive Liz still sitting at the table absently fidgeting with her Candyland cards. "Wow, Lizzie! You've gotten so big. Can I have a hug?"

Always an outgoing and precocious child, Liz leaped out of her chair and into Jenny's embrace. 

"You remember me, Lizzie?" Leo asked.

"Uh huh! You're Uncle Leo!" 

The little girl was passed to Leo's waiting arms. "Yes, I am. And I think I have a little something for you."

He pulled a lollipop out of his jacket pocket and handed it to little girl. 

"Lizzie, Honey, what do you say?" Jed nudged her.

"Thank you."

It was the sweetest voice Leo thought he'd ever heard. "You're very welcome." He tightened the hug before lowering her to the ground and exchanging a tension-laced smile with Jenny. 

The interesting thing about friends is that they notice the most minute expressions of emotion, sometimes from clear across the room. Words aren't always necessary to convey the myriad of feelings that are visible on a person's face and, in this case, the unspoken words only added to Jed's suspicions. 

During an after-dinner snack while Abbey accompanied Liz and Leo on a stargazing venture with the new telescope he had just bought the little girl, Jenny approached the troubling subject with Jed.

"I'm not sure who else to turn to, who else he'll listen to," she argued in an attempt to justify to herself the need to talk to Jed about something she was sure Leo would have a problem doing himself.

"Jenny, we've known each other for years. You can tell me anything. You know that."

"His drinking. It concerns me, Jed. I mean, really concerns me."

Leo had always been a heavy drinker, but in the past, he knew when to stop. Jed was frequently astonished by the amount of liquor the man could hold. He used to wonder if his friend was on a dangerous path to serious trouble or simply having a good time. According to Jenny, his initial instincts were right. Leo's drinking became more pronounced after his time in Vietnam and now, he was almost out of control. But Jed was still uncertain about the role he was supposed to play. 

"You know I'll do anything for Leo, and for you. What is it you're asking?"

"Talk to him. Please. He won't listen to me."

"What makes you think he'll listen to me?" a skeptical Jed asked.

"If he doesn't, then I'm out of solutions." She teared up as she turned away from his prying eyes.

"Jenny, what aren't you telling me?"

"I'm just worried about him...now more than ever."

"Why now more than ever? What's going on?"

She took a beat and decided to forego privacy, but in the mere seconds it took to open her mouth, she was interrupted by the return of Liz, Abbey, and Leo. "I'm glad you're back," she said instead. "I think it's time to tell them."

"Tell us what?" Abbey asked.

She waited for Leo to stand beside her and drape an arm over her shoulder. "I'm pregnant."

Those two little words that had brought so much joy to Jed when Abbey spoke them were now uttered out of Jenny's mouth with an underlying hint of dread and insecurity -- one that Abbey didn't notice and one that immediately convinced Jed of the urgency of the favor Jenny was asking of him. He nodded sadly and took her into his embrace. 

"Congratulations."

"I think it's great!" Abbey added with her own congratulatory hug for the couple. "Aunt Jenny's going to have a baby, Lizzie," she said as she picked up Liz. 

"A baby?"

"Yeah, it's right here in my tummy." 

Jenny grasped the girl's arm and directed it towards her stomach, letting her pat the barely swollen skin under her blouse.

Jed acknowledged the smile tenuously plastered across Jenny's face. In the ten years he had known her, he had never seen Jenny so unsure of her relationship with Leo. It always gave him great pride to brag that he was the one who introduced the two. And now that she needed his help, for Leo's sake, he couldn't turn her away.

He didn't dare mention Jenny's request to Abbey until they were alone that night. He propped himself up against the headboard as soon as she came into the bedroom. 

"So Lizzie wants to know when Mommy's going to have another baby."

"Not anytime soon," he laughed.

Abbey slipped off her robe and picked up a bottle of lotion from the dresser. She dispensed the cream into her hand, blending it up and down the length of her legs. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why not anytime soon?" She set the bottle back on the dresser and approached his lying form on the mattress. "Don't you want another baby?"

"Yeah, but...Lizzie starts kindergarten in a week and you're about to start your third year of meed school."

"Lizzie starting school is perfect timing. She's not exactly a baby anymore. And as for me, I could take some time off."

"Do you want to?" he asked.

"For another Liz? Yeah, I really want to."

Jed pulled her closer to him, bracing his arm behind her and causing her to lean back as he pressed his chest into hers. She squirmed underneath him, twisting her body to release his hold. 

He looked at her with confusion in his eyes. "You said you wanted a baby."

"Down, Sparky, I didn't mean tonight. Lizzie's saying goodnight to Leo and Jenny. She's sleeping with us tonight, so..."

"No hanky panky."

She wrinkled her forehead and leaned in for a kiss. "I'm sorry."

He returned her kiss and affectionately curled his arm around hers. "How did Leo seem to you tonight?"

"Fine, why?" she replied as she fluffed up her pillow and laid beside him.

"Jenny's concerned about his drinking."

"Leo always drinks. It's nothing new, right?"

"He's been drinking more than normal and she's concerned with a baby on the way."

Abbey rested her head on his shoulder and rubbed his arm with her hand. "She wants you to talk to him?" He nodded. "And you're going to?" He nodded again. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"

"I've never interfered in how Leo lives his life. It's not my place."

"You're his best friend. If you're worried..."

The door swung open, interrupting the moment between the two. "Mommy!" Elizabeth gleefully shouted,

"Hi, Sweetheart. Come on up." She reached down to help Liz climb onto the bed. 

"Did you say goodnight to Leo and Jenny?" Jed asked.

"Uh huh! Aunt Jenny said I can sleep with them tomorrow. Can I?"

Abbey helped her settle underneath the covers between herself and Jed. "We'll see." She kissed her daughter before turning around to turn off the light. "Night night."

"Good night, Angel," Jed added with a second kiss.

Liz rolled to her side and threw her arm around Jed's neck. She pressed her lips into his cheek as he returned her hug, savoring the loving gesture. Without fail, every time her tiny hands coiled around his body, it sent a warm tingle through his heart and brought a tear to his eye. She released her grip, turned her body back towards the middle, and tugged on the blanket on top of her. He helped her yank the fabric a little harder until she smiled, then, with a quick swipe to remove the moisture under his eye, he rolled away and turned off his light, seriously pondering the idea of having another child.

 

TBC


	2. Chapter Two

Elizabeth stared at her laced fingers with her hands clasped around one another as her tousled chestnut-colored hair cascaded down her soft skin and gently brushed the side of her naturally flushed cheeks. Her dark lashes extended upward as she opened her big blue eyes and looked across the table at Jenny. 

"My Barbie doll?" she asked.

Jenny shook her head. "Nope."

"My bracelet?"

"I don't think so."

Liz lowered her head in deep thought. A renewed sparkle in her eye matched the enthusiastic tone in her voice. "Money?"

Jenny took a sip of her juice as she contemplated the thought. "How much?"

"Umm, I have..." She held out her hands with her palms aimed towards the ceiling and counted her fingers, folding them in one by one. "...six dollars!" 

Abbey stepped out of the bedroom and walked into the kitchen with a raised brow, approaching her daughter curiously. 

"I don't think that's enough," Jenny told her.

"How 'bout the necklace Daddy gave me for Christmas?"

"You'd give that away?"

Liz wrapped her fingers around the silver chain hanging from her neck. "No," she said while shaking her head.

Jenny laughed and pinched the girl's cheek. Abbey ran her fingers through the back of Liz's hair, attempting to relieve some of the tangles nestled in her straight locks. 

"What is she doing?" she asked.

"Bartering for the baby," Jenny answered. 

Abbey moved toward the side of Liz's chair with an exasperated expression that caused Liz to bite down on her lower lip in embarrassment. "Lizzie! Leave Jenny alone."

"Abbey, it's fine. She's adorable." 

Abbey kept one eye on her daughter and turned slightly to focus on Jed. "You're just standing here, allowing her to try to buy a baby?"

"It's not like Jenny's going to sell the little one," he joked with his back leaning against the stove. 

"I want a baby!" Liz whined.

Leo crossed the room and stood next to Jed. "Careful, she's starting young," he teased.

"Shut up," Jed shot back.

Abbey moved her husband out of the way and splattered a spoonful of cooking oil into the skillet behind him while she waited for him to hand her a couple of eggs. "Tell you what, Lizzie, after breakfast, you can come with me and Jenny to Filene's. We'll go take a look at those shoes you wanted."

"It's not the same," Liz replied dryly.

"No but it's better than nothing, right?"

The women's shopping excursion gave Jed a chance to express some of Jenny's concerns to Leo. He assumed it would be a conversation rife with opportunity for conflict, but surprisingly, Leo's agreeable demeanor extinguished any chance of an argument.

With eyes brimming with tears of happiness, his sincerity was unmistakably visible. "Remember what got me through the war? Remember what I held on to in the darkest hours?"

Those words unearthed years worth of memories for Jed. While serving in Vietnam, Leo had often written about his horrific experiences, constantly claiming that in the face of the multitude atrocities and the countless fellow soldiers who dodged enemy fire only to fall prey to their own suicidal thoughts, the single motivating factor in his fight for survival was starting a family with Jenny.

"Yeah, I remember."

"It's finally happening. I'd be an idiot to throw that away."

"Jenny said..."

"I know what Jenny said. I know she's concerned and I knew she would probably bring it up with you. Trust me, it's not a problem. I drink socially, that's it."

"She says it's more than that."

"Because she worries way too much."

"But..."

Desperate to change the direction of the conversation, Leo interrupted. "Doesn't Abbey nag you sometimes?" 

"My smoking," Jed sighed.

"Then you know. Look, the most important thing in the world to me is Jenny's health right now. I don't want to cause her any more stress than she's already under. If she wants me to quit drinking, I will."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"You'll tell her that?"

"Of course."

"Okay," Jed replied. "I hope you understand. I was just trying to help Jenny."

"Yeah, I understand," Leo answered with a warm smile that set Jed's mind at ease.

It was easy. Too easy. Jed knew that, but despite his initial suspicions, he believed Leo. Having been by Abbey's side during the nine months of her pregnancy, he saw firsthand the affects of the emotional rollercoaster hormones could spark. A wave of relief washed over him, but the humble grin that came with it disappeared quickly once the door swung open with a disgruntled Liz pouting her way inside. Abbey and Jenny followed, one behind the other, each carrying several shopping bags. 

His eyes followed them across the room. "What happened?" 

"You know that white dress Lizzie wanted to buy last week?" Abbey started.

"The one for Lucy's party?"

"That's the one."

"Uh oh," Jed mumbled under his breath.

"Well, I decided to go ahead and buy it for her. Unfortunately, they no longer had her size, but that didn't stop Lizzie throwing a fit and staging a mini sit-in right there in the store, claiming she wasn't going anywhere until I bought her another dress."

"So after a few minutes, Abbey picked her up and Lizzie began screaming. Two security guards heard the commotion and rushed over," Jenny added. 

"With the way she was carrying on, I think they may have doubted I was even her mother."

Jed let out a small laugh, but quickly straightened his posture and wiped the smile off his face when Abbey responded with a stern, scolding look. "Sorry."

"Do you want to know what happened when they asked her what was going on?" Abbey faced her daughter. "Go ahead and tell Daddy what you told them."

"I told them what you told me..." 

Liz trailed off and buried her face in her hand. Unable to resist the vulnerability of the young the girl, Jed picked up her up then looked to Abbey for the conclusion of the story.

"So she looked the officer right in the eye and said her Daddy told her that in America, no one has to do what they don't want to do."

"Adult translation - the art of protest," Jenny finished.

The smirk on Leo's face disappeared with the guilty glance Jed threw his way. "Okay, so I told her about a couple of sit-ins I participated in. It was the 60s...there were protests all over the country."

"And she certainly listened." 

"I didn't expect her to stage a coup at the department store." 

"Jed..."

"Abbey, it doesn't matter. I can end this whole thing right now." He lowered Liz to the ground and popped into the coat closet where he pulled out a plastic garment bag used to shelter the familiar white fabric peeking out of the edges.

"You didn't."

Jed nodded and unwrapped the dress, handing it to an excited Liz. "I picked it up on my way home from work a few days ago."

"We agreed to wait until the end-of-summer sales."

"I know, but I was afraid they would all be gone by then and I knew how much she wanted it."

His eyes glittered with pride, his smile widening as he watched Liz untangle the lace from around the hanger and hold it up to her small body. At Leo's urging, she left the room to slip on her new dress as Abbey's gaze focused on Jed with frustration rising within her. 

"Is that her reward for her tantrum?" she asked.

"What?" he replied, genuinely surprised by the disapproving look she was shooting across the room. "You were going to buy her the dress anyway."

"Yes, I was, before she threw herself on the ground and kicked and screamed her way out of the store."

"Come on, Abbey. She's a child. She's going to throw tantrums." He turned to Leo for support. "Right?"

Leo put his hands up in an act of neutrality. "I'm staying out of this one."

"Chicken," Jed teased.

"I don't want her thinking that she can have her way if she whines and pouts," Abbey continued.

"I don't either, but at the same time, I'm her father. If she wants something, it's my job to get it for her. Isn't that what your father did?"

"Not when I behaved the way Lizzie did today."

Jenny argued Abbey's point a step further. "Neither did mine. I don't want to overstep..."

"No, go ahead," Abbey insisted. "You were there. You saw the whole thing."

"I just think children need to know the boundaries. They need to know what's acceptable and what isn't and giving her what she wanted only proves to her that what she did today was acceptable, at least by you, Jed," Jenny concluded.

"He bought his daughter a dress she's obviously crazy about," Leo interrupted. "I don't understand what's wrong with that."

Jenny folded her arms and aimed her stare at her husband. "I thought you were staying out of it."

"That was before you championed Abbey's cause."

"So is that what you're going to do with our kid?" 

"Maybe. It depends on the situation."

Abbey jumped in just as Leo finished. "The situation here is that Lizzie just learned a lesson in manipulating her father."

"Hey! She didn't manipulate me," an insulted Jed replied. 

The conversation came to a standstill as the four turned their heads to capture a sight of Liz framed in her bedroom doorway. The hem of her dress barely scraped her knees and the lacey fabric showed off a white, shimmery underlay that naturally rippled before dipping in at her waist. Her short sleeves covered the very top of her arms with a small hint of glitter interweaved in the mini cutouts that extended to the high collar. 

She held the belt behind her with her hands. Her chin rested on the top of her chest as her fingers fumbled with the material. "I can't tie it."

Abbey's lips curved with a smile at her beautiful daughter. "Come here."

She pulled Liz's arm and sat in a chair behind as she tied the thin pieces of lace in the back of the dress. Liz tilted her head backwards and rolled her eyes up to get a look at her mother. 

Once she was finished, Abbey leaned forward and kissed the top of Liz's head. "There you go, Baby Doll."

Lizzie turned around and shrugged at her mother. "I'm sorry I made you mad." 

Abbey returned the smile and nodded, pulling her up to her lap. Jed nudged Leo as Liz rested her head against her mother's chest. When he witnessed such loving scenes between mother and daughter, he thanked God for Abbey. 

He couldn't help but reflect on his own childhood - a childhood filled with fear and helplessness, knowing his feelings would never be taken seriously, a childhood where anything he wanted was ridiculed and scorned, where every tantrum was met with a beating and every apology with cynicism, a childhood he was determined to forget and in the process, prevent little Lizzie from ever facing. 

 

TBC


	3. Chapter Three

With a subtle whiff, Abbey inhaled the aroma of the lavender lotion she seductively massaged in the palm of her hand. She propped her leg on the chair in front of her mirror and reached down to her toes with the tips of her fingers, gliding the cream up her ankles and slowly rubbing it into the skin around her calves. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Jed close the bathroom door behind him and and take sleepy strides towards the bed. His baggy pajamas didn't reveal any of the attractive ripples in his upper body or the wonderful part of his anatomy that swelled between his thighs whenever she wore her black bra and panties to bed.

He caught her hands making their way up her silky legs in that way she knew would drive him crazy. Small portions of his skin were revealed slowly as he fumbled with his buttons, pulling them apart and letting his shirt slide effortlessly down his arms before draping it over the dresser. 

Abbey's pulse began to race with the knowledge that he was giving her a dose of her own medicine. She emptied more lotion into her hand and continued her journey up her leg, her strokes becoming more rapid and aggressive. 

Jed savored every moment of the vision of flesh that was revealed as she bent forward to get to hard-to-reach spots. The short black satin robe she wore crept upward exposing her rear gently pressed against the translucent material of her panties. When she changed positions slightly, the "V" formed by the robe's opening hung low, uncovering the previously sheltered flimsy bra that barely restrained her perky breasts. 

Jed snapped the elastic of his pants just to get her attention. He knew he succeeded when, despite her refusal to face him, her head jerked slightly at the sound. She held her breath listening to his next move, which she was sure would be the removal of the pajamas. 

Her eyes opened to catch a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. His pants hit the ground, but his body remained perfectly still and upright. He stepped in front of them and bent forward to pick them up. She knew he took his time so she could enjoy the view. She snuggled a few obtrusive strands of hair behind her ear so her piercing gaze could settle on his backside. 

He stood back up and flung his pants overtop his shirt. She swung her leg down off the chair and approached him, manipulatively untying the belt that loosely bonded the shiny robe. She let it slip down her arms, catching it with her left hand and tossing it to the chair behind her. 

Their bodies approached one another, each breathing harder with every second of anticpiation. She cupped her hands on his rear and pulled him up towards her, his skin now grazing hers. 

"So you never told me what happened when you talked to Leo," she said softly.

"You really want to discuss that now?"

There was that hint of a smile that always touched his heart as she shook her head. "No."

Her fingers slipped between his skin and the elastic of his briefs, tugging on them until they fell. He stepped out of the material wrapped around his ankles and led her to the bed. She pushed him down on the mattress and stood above him while she unhooked her bra and dropped it onto his chest. She followed her panties to the ground, noticing his body straining to fold in his desire to watch. 

The mischievous spark in her eye quickly gave away her intentions. Her lips took in the moisture of his mouth while her fingers lightly caressed his chest. He reached for the condom drawer next to the bed, but she gently smacked his wrist, holding him back.

"You're not using anything."

"I know," she assured him with an intimate implication that he understood all too well.

She lowered her body onto his, raising his arm above his head and brushing his wrist lightly along the bedpost. Tied securely around him, her bra provided an erotic yet suitable restraint for one wrist. The other was bound to the other post with the panties she had just removed. It was less secure, but she didn't care. She had no interest in seriously constricting his movements. It was the idea of domination that always turned him on.

"You remember our safe word?" she whispered to him as she slid down his body.

Jed nodded even though he realized he wouldn't need it. The sheer undergarments she had used would snap in a single tug. Still, he played along, eager to let her take the lead, at least for a while.

Her tongue trailed down his chest, leaving traces of wet kisses on his skin. Knowing Jed as well as she did, she turned her back to him, straddling his stomach and allowing him an opportunity to admire her rear. Just as she expected, his erection swelled a bit more. She laughed silently, feeling the sexual power she had over him at this very moment. 

She coiled her hand around his penis and massaged it gently. With his concentration clearly on Abbey's captivating moves as she smoothly guided him inside her, he found the strength to carefully and silently release himself from the bedposts. Their bodies moved in one rhythmic motion with Abbey controlling the thrusts until Jed startled her by grabbing onto her hips, causing her face to dip between his thighs and giving him the upper-hand. He squirmed his way towards the head of the bed never removing himself from the warm depths of her entrance as he pulled her along.

At the slight whimper that escaped her lips, he leaned down over her back. "Are you okay?"

"Mmm hmm."

He pressed his lips into her back before sitting up and positioning her thighs over his hips to continue the thruss he had forced himself to stop when she cried out. Once he got a good hold, he leaned forward and wrapped his fingers around her lower body, massaging the nub of flesh that was barely scraping against the sheets and igniting the passion that seeped from inside. 

He slowed his own movement in anticipation of her climax. She tightened around him, her forehead buried in the pillow just above her, barely propping her face up from the mattress. A final thrust was all it took to spark the inevitable explosion that caused both their bodies to vibrate against one another and completely lose control. 

Jed fell limp on top of her, slipping out of her after a few minutes. He kissed the back of her shoulder and rolled himself over onto the other side of the bed. Abbey kept her head flat on the pillow, turning it slightly to rest her eyes on him.

The feel of his hand running down her back soothingly sent a chill up her spine. "That was fun."

"Tell me about it."

His hand rested under her forcing her to turn into his arms and closer to his body. "I love you so much," he said softly with a kiss to her forehead. 

"I love you too, Jethro."

"Abigail..."

"Sorry," she replied with a smirk as she snuggled closer to him. 

"So it looks like we made our decision about having another baby."

"Did we, or did I bully you into seeing it my way?" she asked. 

"I do love it when you bully me." It all went back to domination.

"Seriously."

"Seriously? I think we should do it. I would love to have another baby with you."

Abbey moved closer as they shared a passionate kiss. He let go only to tilt her head on his chest as he played absently with her hair. "So about Leo..." she started.

"He's fine. I think Jenny is just overly concerned."

"You're sure?"

"I've known Leo for years. If he had a problem, he couldn't fool me."

"Okay."

He pulled away slightly causing her to raise her head and look at him. "What?"

"Nothing," she said, realizing he would want more. "It's just that Jenny doesn't usually worry unless there's reason to."

"I'm not saying he doesn't drink. I'm saying she may be making a little too much out of it...it's like you nagging me about my smoking."

She uncradled herself from his arms and sat up. "It's bad for you."

"I know that's what you think..."

"It's not just what I think, it's what the Surgeon General and countless medical professionals have found."

"Don't get defensive. I'm just saying it's the same kind of thing with Leo and Jenny."

Abbey slid back down under the sheets. "Just remember what happened the last time you got snotty about the smoking thing."

"If you touch my cigarettes ever again..."

She silenced his teasing voice with a kiss to his lips, her hands gripped firmly on the sides of his face to hold him still as she opened her mouth to press herself harder into him. "What were you saying?" she asked after their lips reluctantly parted. 

"I really have no idea."

The smell of her hair invaded his thoughts as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm not completely convinced about Leo, but you know him better than I do."

"Fatherhood will be good for him."

"As long as he doesn't fall into the same trap you did."

His chin hit his chest and his eyes burned into hers with confusion. "What?"

"With Lizzie."

"What trap?"

"Letting your little girl get away with murder." She was still smiling, unaware that her words wounded his sensitive emotions when it came to his daughter.

"That isn't true."

"Of course it is. You never stand up to her, you do whatever she wants and she walks all over you. Just like the thing with the dress. You went out and bought it for her, even though we had told her she couldn't have it at the time."

She was right, of course. He realized that. "I can't help it."

"I know you can't. She turns her baby blue eyes in your direction and you melt."

He nodded agreeably. "Yeah."

Abbey realized it was because of his own upbringing and all the insecurities his father provoked that Jed was such a pushover when it came to Elizabeth. It tugged at her heartstrings every time she witnessed her husband in an emotional merry-go-round, debating how to handle disciplining the sometimes-rambunctious little girl. He was silently grateful that she'd always interfere, knowing that taking the pressure off him helped to alleviate his fear of rejection. 

But actually confronting him with his hasty acceptance of Liz's behavior was a completely different story. 

He ripped the sheets that covered his legs and hopped out of bed. Abbey followed his lead, placing her hand over his shoulder in an effort to comfort him. Her touch always brought him to his knees, causing him to forget his stirred feelings. He put his hand over hers, rubbing her fingers lovingly.

"I just don't want to ever disappoint her."

"I'll tell you a secret," she said playfully.

He cocked his head back and replied with a hint of a laugh. "What?"

"I kind of like that about you."

He spun around to face her. "You just said..." he started.

"I said you fell into a trap. Our daughter cast a spell on you the day she was born and you have yet to find a way to reverse it." His eyes wandered as he absorbed her words. She dipped a finger under his chin to turn his gaze back towards her. "That doesn't mean I don't love watching you try."

And with those simple words, he remembered why he fell in love with her. Every day she gave him new reasons to cherish all the years they had known one another, but nothing convinced him of her love more than her understanding, supportive nature. She knew when to ask questions and when answers just weren't necessary. The air of warmth that seemed to always linger around her completely enveloped him. 

He folded his arms around her as she rested her chin against his shoulder. Her strands of auburn hair lightly frayed around his lips and with a breath of "Thank you," gently blew away.

 

TBC


	4. Chapter Four

Outfitted in a white apron embroidered with the words "Kiss The Cook," Jed twirled around the kitchen with a carton of orange juice in his hand. He grabbed Elizabeth's hand and spun her around under his arm, bringing a hearty smile to the little girl's face. 

"Do you want to pour the juice?" Her face lit up at the question. 

"Yeah!"

With his foot, he inched a step-stool closer to the island and helped her up. She grabbed the carton with both hands and slowly positioned herself in front of the glass her father held on the marble. She poured with ease all the way to the rim. 

"That's good! That's good!" he exclaimed as the juice threatened to overflow. 

A skillet filled with eggs sat on the stove, steam rising from underneath it. Jed turned off the burner and tilted the pan to one side to allow the eggs to spill smoothly onto the waiting plate. Behind the duo, a breakfast tray complete with toast, jam, sausage links, a single red rose, and now juice teetered slightly off the edge until Abbey snuck up beside it, picked up the glass of juice and took her place behind father and daughter to look on unnoticed. 

"Is that enough?" Jed asked the five year old who eagerly nodded in response. "Okay, you lead the way." A quick turn to approach the tray sparked a momentary twinge of panic as a startled Jed came face-to-face with his wife and fumbled the plate, causing it to fall and the tray to tumble after.

Lizzie backed away from the mess and looked up at her mother. "Oops."

"Why the hell do you insist on sneaking up on me?" His voice was sharp, yet gentle.

"I didn't even realize I was sneaking up on you and when I figured it out, the site in front of me was just too cute to pass by," Abbey replied. "Hey, I saved the juice." She held the glass up for his observation.

"I poured the juice!" Liz proudly told her.

"And you did a wonderful job!" Abbey grinned at her pouting husband. "I'm sorry. Really, I am." She walked past him to get to Liz. "Hey, Miss Lizzie! How are you this morning?" 

Liz bent down to grab the rose that lay on the floor. She extended her arm towards her mother as she stood back up. "Fine."

"Thank you. That was so sweet." She accepted the flower, pressing it up to her nose for a quick sniff. "Do you have your clothes laid out for school today?"

"Uh huh. Daddy helped me."

Abbey cocked her head back towards Jed. "He did, did he?" After he returned her smile, she rested her hands on her knees and leaned forward to tweak Liz's nose. "Why don't you go get dressed."

"Now?"

"Yep, right now if you don't want to be late."

Lizzie ran towards her bedroom cheerfully as Jed wrapped an arm around Abbey's waist, pulling her up to face level. Abbey turned in his arms to kiss him on the lips before making full contact with her body. 

"We wanted to surprise you on your first day of school."

She was definitely touched by the gesture, but confused by the motivation. "It's not exactly my first day."

"It's the first day of this clinical rotation. There's something to be said for that." 

"It's Lizzie we should be showering with sweet things this morning. I can't believe she's starting kindergarten."

"Don't think I'm not - showering her with sweet things I mean." He reached up to the cupboard and pulled down a pink Barbie lunchbox. "What do you think?"

"She's only going half days. She won't be eating lunch."

"I know, but she wanted it. I already cleared with her teacher and I'm going to fill it up with an assortment of her favorite snacks she can have while waiting for the bus ride home." 

Abbey took the lunchbox from his hands, admiring it closely, as he rummaged around the drawers and placed several bags of candy and boxes of cookies on the counter. "Oh no!"

"Abbey, come on. It's her first day. She may need a little something to get her through."

"She doesn't need all that sugar, Jed. She's excited enough as it is." He tilted his head towards his shoulder and slid his lower lip out in a wordless gesture to convince her. "Give her one candy bar," she conceded. "I'm going to put a banana in there too."

He laughed as he approached her, sweeping away the few strands of hair that danced just above her lashes. "I'm proud of you, you know." 

With open hands, she placed her palms on either side of his face, gently massaging his skin with her thumbs. "I know. Hey, it's your first day too."

"Nah, I've been keeping office hours for weeks."

"It's the first day of classes. Better?" she asked with a kiss. With his lips still enveloped by hers, Jed picked her up in his arms and sat her on the counter. His fingers began manipulating the buttons on her pajama top and a single finger slid inside the silky fabric until he felt a stinging slap to his wrist. "Jed, Lizzie's in the next room."

"You told her to get dressed all by herself. She'll be in there forever."

She jumped off the counter. "You're right. I should go help her." 

"Don't worry. I'll still be here, ready and willing when you get back," he called out to her as he watched her turn her head slightly and laugh as she walked towards Liz's room. 

Armed with a handful of paper towels, Jed kneeled on the ground to sweep up the broken glass and messy remnants of food. Breakfast may not have gone exactly as he planned, but at least he was able to reap the benefits of being a thoughtful husband. And truth be known, getting up to get both his girls ready for school was something he planned to do often. There were going to be other opportunities for the close family bonding time he envisioned.

"Jed!" Abbey called out to him.

"Yeah, hang on." He discarded the trash in his hands and approached the doorway to Liz's room. "What's wrong?"

He followed her eyes to their daughter, standing before them in the beautiful white dress he had just bought her the week before.

"Hi, Daddy!" Liz greeted him sweetly.

"Wow, Lizzie, you look just like a little princess." He pulled back a strand of hair that covered her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"She says you told her she could wear it to school today."

"Yeah, she said you told her it would be okay."

"This dress is for Lucy's birthday party, Jed. Look at it, it's a party dress. Does it really look like it's appropriate for school?"

Jed eyed his daughter's outfit from the top down. "I don't know, Abbey. She said she wanted to wear it and that you said it was okay. I said fine."

"Well, that's the first problem. I never said it was okay. In fact, when she asked me if she could wear it for school, I told her no. Didn't I, Lizzie?" 

Liz lowered her gaze slightly and nodded her head. "Yes."

A moment of frustration rose within him, but Jed dismissed his feelings and kneeled in front of Liz. "So then you and Mommy pick out another outfit and I'm going to go cook breakfast...again."

"Okay."

"Okay." He stood up and ran his hand over the top of her head on his way out of the room. 

Abbey held up her finger, assuring the little girl that she would return immediately after she chased her husband. "So that's it? She lied to you to play us against one another."

"Children do that kind of thing all the time, Abbey."

"Only if you let them get away with it."

He picked up a rag to wipe off the counter. "What are you going to do, punish her? It's her first day of school."

Abbey looked up and sighed in defeat. "I'm just starting to worry about her. She's been doing this kind of thing a lot lately and we always just look at her and think how cute she is."

"It's just a phase."

"No, it isn't. She's testing the limits and we're letting her exceed them."

"Yeah." He put aside the dirty rag and looked at Abbey. "We'll talk to her, okay? Just let her enjoy today."

She was willing to do that. With a nod, she headed back to Liz's room. "Give me a few minutes and I'll help you with breakfast."

\- - -

When she was ready, Liz stood in the middle of her parents, now wearing a more suitable pink dress Abbey had allowed her to pick out. She grasped their hands on either side as the three of them walked to the bus stop. At the approach of the enormous yellow bus, Lizzie took a few steps back, her eyes clouded with apprehension.

Jed met her stare in an effort to reassure her. "It's okay, Angel. You're going to have fun."

"That's right and Daddy's going to pick you up right here when you get home," Abbey added.

Liz closed her eyes. “I guess.”

“You said you wanted to go to school by yourself, right?” Abbey asked.

“Yeah.”

“Have you changed your mind?”

“No. I think I wanna go by myself.”

Jed squeezed her hand a little tighter. "That’s right. You're a big girl now, aren’t you?”

“I am a big girl.” A smile on her face, Liz accepted her father’s words.

“And when you get there, Miss Eleanor will be waiting. Remember her? We met her at Parent's Night."

Liz's eyes and attention never left the school bus. "The bus is really big."

Abbey kneeled down and handed her the Barbie lunchbox. "Yes, it is. But guess what - on board there are a ton of other kids just waiting to meet you."

Liz smiled again, just as Abbey knew she would. She was never a shy child and, like her father, one could describe her as an outgoing people person who got the greatest joy out of meeting others. 

"Okay," she said, accepting a kiss from both of her parents before taking a few steps towards the open door. 

Jed and Abbey watched her climb up the stairs and take her seat, but instead of her face the back of her head was pressed against the window. Right away, they were put at ease, knowing Liz was talking to the young girl sitting next to her. 

"She has no trouble making friends," Abbey remarked. "Just like you." She draped one arm over his shoulder and wrapped the other around his waist.

Those were the kindest words she could have said to him. "Thank you," he responded while covering her hands with his own.

\- - - 

Now that the hard part was over, it was time for Abbey to brace herself for the next phase in her med school education. She was about to begin a year filled with clinical rotations in various medical specialties. One might have expected her to be nervous or scared, but, instead, she met the day with the highest of expectations. 

Unfortunately, her hopes were dashed almost immediately by a feeling of inadequacy. After two years of classroom instruction, her test scores and class rank bore testimony to her intelligence and competence, but the first five minutes of her internal medicine rotation managed to erase the self-confidence she had built. 

Like the three other third-year students she was teamed up with, Abbey was at the mercy of an egotistical resident physician -- Dr. Kyle Nelson. She knew the only reason Kyle had zeroed in on her was because she was a woman. He pretty much admitted that right away. 

With steely determination, she remembered that she had prepared herself for this. After all, knowing only 7 percent of the nation's doctors were women, she expected some roadblocks on her journey to the medical degree she had dreamed about for so long. His timing may have thrown her off, but it didn't deter her entirely. She held her head high, unwilling to let him shatter the unbreakable walls that sheltered her goals.

But unlike Abbey, Kyle had experience at this. "Mrs. Bartlet, Diffuse demineralization of the bone associated with hypercalcemia, anemia, hypergammaglobulinemia, proteinuria, and normal serum alkaline phosphatase is most suggestive of what?" 

Abbey took a deep breath then crinkled her eyes in an effort to remember the countless study sessions she spent with Millie. "Multiple myeloma," she blurted out triumphantly.

Her answer wiped the smirk off Kyle's face and riddled him with even more motivation. He circled around her, surprised with her depth of knowledge and unbreakable tenacity.

There's an infamous practice in medical school called pimping in which residents quiz students about various aspects of medicine, usually posing a series of difficult questions to them in front of colleagues. If done with the best of intentions, it's meant to garner a sense of accomplishment in a student while filling in the gaps in her educational knowledge. But when it's done maliciously, it can taunt and humiliate an aspiring physician, sometimes causing her to hang up her lab coat for good. 

Kyle's motives were nothing short of malicious. He used the most arcane pieces of historical medical trivia to test her inner strength. When she didn't crumble, the questions became harder, revolving around laboratory research and information to which she hadn't yet been exposed, sparking the inevitable condescension and ridicule when Abbey finally admitted to her ignorance. She felt small and unintelligent, incapable of learning what she assumed most students already knew, and filling her with anxiety and agitation at the mere thought of facing another day of medicine. 

She left the hospital that night with glossy eyes, shining with unshed tears that she had controlled for eight hours. With the blink of her eye, she finally allowed a single drop to trail its way down her face. Only a few followed, then it was time to pull herself together before Jed and Liz noticed the fears that threatened to destroy her spirit. The years of textbook study were over and the long hours of memorizing facts and scientific equations gave way to a new facet of med school for which she was ill-prepared. 

 

TBC


	5. Chapter Five

The sheets shifted and tangled around him with Jed's every twist and turn. He looked at her lying next to him. After a night of fidgeting and tossing around the bed, Abbey had finally fallen asleep. And now she was cold. He knew she was cold because when her temperature was low, her entire body radiated heat, warming the bed and extending to his skin. 

Beads of sweat moisturized his bare chest, waking him from a sound sleep. He extended his arm and touched her shoulder with the tips of his fingers barely nudging her. When she didn't move, he crept over and nuzzled his head to her chest. A smile dominated his face with every beat of her heart as he rolled back to his side of the bed and tugged on the comforter to firmly cover her exposed skin. 

She hid the fact that she was awake, but when he swept her bangs to the side of her forehead, she tilted her head back ever so slightly.

"Abbey?"

In her desperation to avoid a conversation about her restlessness, she laid completely still, convincing him she was asleep. He swung his legs to the side and climbed out of bed, grabbing his robe on the way to the bathroom. Her eyes popped open with the sound of running water. 

Unfortunately, this had been an all-too-familiar routine ever since she began her medicine rotation three weeks ago. Jed was still unaware of the trouble she was having with her resident doctor and instead of clueing him in on the struggle each day presented, Abbey kept her insecurities hidden, allowing them to take root in her soul. 

She buried herself under the covers until he reemerged with a towel wrapped around his waist. She addressed him with a soft hello as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I was wondering when you'd wake up." Her face showed no emotion in response. "I noticed you had trouble sleeping last night. Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head at his sweet offer. "No."

He expected that. She was the one who usually encouraged conversation, but lately, she was distant and quiet. Because he assumed the strains of her schedule were taking a physical toll, he respected her wishes and tried not to push her. 

"Okay." He surrendered without argument. "I'm going to get dressed then wake Lizzie."

He patted her once on the side and walked away as she rolled herself up in the sheets and slowly began the excruciating task of getting up and mentally preparing herself for another day at the hospital. The irony of the situation didn't escape her. Something she cared so much about, something she dreamed about doing was now nothing more than an "excruciating task" met with bitterness and apprehension, all because of a man she was forced to face every single day.

She climbed out of bed and sighed sadly as she took a brush to the tangles that dominated her copper strands of hair. The laughter in the next room reminded her that Lizzie was up and it was time to wash away her depressed face and reappear with a more cheerful disposition, an act she had become pretty accustomed to performing in the past few weeks.

\- - -

Elizabeth sat on the counter watching her mother intently, waiting for her turn. Abbey handed her the breakfast plate she had just washed and winked at her as Liz began drying it with a small towel. 

She smiled in response to her mother's wink, thinking it was just the right time to take advantage of the loving moment. "Can I have a cookie?"

It was a good try, but it wasn't quite good enough. "Not in the morning."

Lizzie bit down on her lower lip and shifted her eyes in thought. "Daddy let me have one yesterday and it helped me pay attention in school."

Jed put his newspaper on the table and looked up when he heard the incriminating statement while Abbey tilted her head to force the young girl to meet her gaze so she could search her eyes for the truth. 

"Lizzie,” she said sternly.

"He did," the five-year-old insisted, her blue eyes piercing into Abbey's.

The fact that Liz could look her right in the eye and stay true to her fib was a bit troublesome for Abbey. "Jed?"

Liz returned Jed's stare with a look of vulnerability she had perfected. She learned early that look was the best way to her father's heart. 

"Lizzie, why are you trying to fool your mother?" he replied lightheartedly, trying to take away some of the tension he knew was brewing.

Liz giggled in response, but one glimpse at her mother's serious expression immediately ended the jovial mood.

"Why did you lie to me?" Abbey asked. Liz shrugged. "Okay, then maybe you can figure it out after school. Jed, no television for Liz tonight."

"Noooo!" Lizzie whined.

"Stop it. I've talked to you about this before. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's lying. I don't want you lying to me, ever."

"I won't anymore. I promise."

"Good. In the meantime, no Brady Bunch tonight."

The comedy show and its cartoon counterpart The Brady Kids had quickly become Elizabeth's favorite. She had yet to miss a single episode of either one since they moved to the States and she was visibly angry that she would be forced to now.

"How about a compromise?" Jed offered. "Liz can watch The Brady Bunch tonight, but nothing else."

Liz nodded at her father and turned her attention back to Abbey.

"Jed." 

He hoisted Liz up into the air to offset any tears, then lowered her to the ground. "Why don't you go brush your teeth and get ready." Heeding her father's advice, she left the kitchen while Jed turned towards his wife.

"Why do you contradict me in front of her?"

"I wasn't contradicting you. I was offering a compromise."

"I'm not going to negotiate with her."

"Abbey, it's obvious that you're upset about something and it has nothing to do with what happened here this morning. Tell me what's wrong."

She could tell him. She could tell him and end this whole thing right now. She knew Jed would beat down Kyle's door and confront him immediately. But that was why she hadn't told him. Having her husband ride in on his white horse would pretty much negate the independent persona she was desperately trying to convey.

"What's wrong is that I don't like being made out to be the bad guy while you try to please our daughter."

"You're not the bad guy. I know that."

"Does she? I just don't think we should let her slide every time she uses these little tricks to get her way."

"That's all that's bothering you. You don't like it when she lies."

"I don't like it when she lies," she repeated. "And she's been lying a lot lately."

"So have you. You're lying to me right now." The look of exasperation that swept over her features caused him to backtrack in hopes of avoiding an argument. "Okay, look, I shouldn’t have said that. I'm just worried about you. I feel like there's something else going on with you and I just want to help."

Abbey took in his sincere words and lightened her mood. "Thank you, but I'm fine. Now, can I count on you to keep Lizzie away from the TV if I'm late again tonight?"

"Of course."

"I'm going to say goodbye to her." She kissed his cheek on her way out the kitchen.

Telling Jed wasn't an option, but Abbey wasn't completely alone. There was one person she could turn to -- someone who knew where she was coming from and where she was headed, someone who had been down this very path not too long ago.

As Millie pulled out her chair in the hospital cafeteria, she took note of Abbey's tray. It was practically empty, except for a small carton of milk and a handful of graham crackers. No fruits, no veggies, no real food whatsoever. If her despondent posture wasn't enough to give her away, that certainly was. 

Millie didn't have to drag it out of her. Abbey volunteered the information in her search for advice and guidance. "The same thing must have happened to you," she said to her friend, expecting an empathetic response.

"It did. I think it happens to a lot of women. Unfortunately, the way the system is set up, it makes it easy for some of these men to cut us down all in the name of helping us succeed through med school."

"No wonder there aren't many women who make it all the way through."

"We're the exception, Abbey. Not the rule." Abbey snapped her cracker in half, allowing the crumbs to fall onto her tray without a second thought. It didn't go unnoticed that the cookies never actually made it to her mouth. "What does Jed say?" Observing the lack of reply, Millie realized the scope of her friend's problem. "You haven't told him, have you?"

"I can't. Not yet. I just want to prove to myself that I can do this - by myself - without the help of any man, including my husband."

"He's not just a man, Abbey. He's your partner. Let him help you."

"Jed's idea of help will be to confront Dr. Nelson. I don't want that. Besides, my general medicine rotation will be over in five weeks. I may never have to see him again."

"It's not that easy. You have two more gen med rotations and a lot of opportunities for run-ins with him. And don't forget, he is partly responsible for your grade." She trailed off in reaction to the sound of her beeper. "It's the sitter. Chloe must be fussy again today. Do yourself a favor and don't have any more kids until after you're completely finished with school."

A few breaths of laughter escaped Abbey's lips at the warning. As she watched Millie at the nearby payphone, she resigned herself to the fact that she was in a no-win situation as far as impressing Kyle Nelson. Instead, she had to be responsible for her own educational success by committing the countless hours of study it would take to pass her medicine boards with flying colors and hope that when her family medicine rotation began in November, Kyle would be a distant memory.   
\- - - 

Back at home, Jed had a challenging night of his own trying to outfox his five-year-old daughter's manipulative attempts at watching television. Elizabeth tried the sweet approach. She drew him a picture of the two of them holding hands while swinging on the swings at the park. It didn't work. She tried the sad approach. Furrowed eyebrows enhanced by narrow tearless eyes with a deep hoarseness in her voice didn't convince him. 

But despite her well-orchestrated facades, the image of her moping around the kitchen bored and restless is what melted his heart. 

"If you hop up here and help me dry these dishes, I'll play Candyland with you."

"I don't wanna play Candyland! I wanna watch TV!"

"Do you want to help me anyway?"

She nodded sadly. He lifted her up and sat her on the countertop, handing her a dry towel and a wet plate.

"Can't I watch? Please?" It was more of a pouting whine than an actual question.

"I'm sorry."

"I won't tell her that you let me."

He smirked at her tenacity, but didn't relent. "Nope."

Jed's head snapped back at the sound of a plate shattering as it hit the hard kitchen floor. He had barely noticed her loosen her grip on it just before it went crashing down. "Elizabeth, you did that on purpose."

She folded her arms in front of her and looked down, unwilling to meet his stare. He felt his temper rise, but fought it back with every irritated breath. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself that it was okay to be upset with his daughter, the fear that he harbored since early adulthood -- a fear that his own children would despise him much like he despised his father -- prevented him from ever acting as the disciplinarian.

It was easy with Liz. He was so taken by her angelic face that her rebellious outburst didn't phase him for long. He bent down in front of her to allow her a piggyback ride to the sofa. He handed her a jacket and her shoes and socks to keep her occupied while he returned to sweep up the broken glass.

After he cleaned up the kitchen, Jed took her hand and led her outside. Her boredom quickly vanished as they felt the crisp Boston air and took in the smell of homestyle barbecue that lingered in the neighborhood. Their twenty-minute walk came to an end at a convenience store bordering the Muddy River, a stream whose rapid water empties into several ponds and brooks as it separates the city of Boston from the town of Brookline.

He handed Liz a scoop of chocolate ice cream in a plastic, circular container. He grabbed one for himself and a stack of napkins before heading out of the store. He didn't allow her to eat her ice cream until they reached their destination -- a pedestrian bridge overlooking the water. With his help, Liz sat behind the railing, her legs dangling over the edge. Jed sat down next to her and gave her a small wooden spoon after unsealing her dessert.

Father and daughter stared at the sparkling waterway, electrified by the reflection of Boston's dazzling city lights.

"It's so pretty." Her eyes were wide with excitement at the rushing water.

"Yes, it is. All that water leads right into the Charles River."

And so began a Friday night tradition as well as a geography lesson Liz was all too eager to learn. 

\- - -

"How did it go with Lizzie tonight?" Abbey asked him as they prepared for bed later that evening

"I took her out for ice cream."

"Jed..." she started gently.

"Abbey, she was upset. It cheered her up. We got to really sit and talk and I'd like to do it again next week, with your blessing."

"Just make her eat a healthy dinner first, okay?"

"Of course." He smiled at her as he slid under the sheets and rolled to his side, lifting her head to place passionate kisses on her lips. He paused when she pulled back. "What is it?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"You know, I'm not the med student here, but I think if we want another baby, we're going to have to actually...you know, make love." She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. "Abbey, we haven't done anything in three weeks. What's going on? Is it me? Was I too rough with you last time?"

Her guilt seeped out of her at the mere notion that he could think she was intentionally avoiding him. "No, of course not, Jed. You were perfect. You're always perfect."

"Then what?"

"I'm just tired. I come home from the hospital every night and I still have to study for the boards. At the end of the day, all I want to do is sleep." He nodded in resignation. "Once this rotation is over, things will get better. I promise."

"Can I hold you?"

She inched herself closer to him, encouraging him to slide his arm under her waist so she could relax her head on his chest. He was hoping for intimacy, but this was enough for now. He kissed the top of her hair and said a quick prayer before falling asleep.

 

TBC


	6. Chapter Six

The knob slowly rotated and the door opened carefully, deliberately stifling the creaking noise that threatened to fill the room. Elizabeth stuck her head through the crack to see her parents still sound asleep under the comforter. She walked in on the tips of her toes. Only a slight laugh gave any indication of her presence before she rested her feet by her mother's bedside. 

She quietly nudged Abbey and pulled on the covers which gently tugged at her body and caused her eyes to pop open. 

"Good morning," Liz greeted her.

"Lizzie?" She stayed on her back, a medical textbook draped over her chest.

"I'm up!"

"Who woke you?"

"I got up all by myself." A feeling of pride was evident in her expression. 

Abbey lifted the book from her body and set it aside. Her eyes moved from her daughter and over to the clock on the nightstand. 

"Oh God." She turned quickly and began patting Jed's back. "Jed, wake up. Honey, it's after 7. I fell asleep before I set the alarm."

"Huh?" Groggy and tired, Jed was completely oblivious to his surroundings.

Liz laughed at his confusion and futile efforts to sit up. "Daddy's sleepy."

"Yes, he is," he answered with a strained voice.

"I'm sorry. I must have fallen asleep while studying."

"It's okay. At least we can count on Lizzie.”

Liz pressed her waist to the mattress, leaning forward to hand Abbey silky pink ribbons tangled around her favorite brush. "Will you do my hair?"

"Sweetie, your mom's going to be late," Jed said sympathetically.

"No, it's okay. You go take your shower. I'll be fine."

Jed smiled warmly at his girls and climbed out from under the sheets.

"Okay, hop on up, Baby Doll." She patted the mattress and grabbed Liz's struggling arms to help her onto the bed. 

She took her spot between her mother's legs as Abbey started brushing her shiny shoulder-length brown locks. "Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you call me 'baby doll'?"

Abbey sighed happily, her eyes sparkling with a memory she hoped to one day share. "Because when I was a little girl, my mother gave me the most beautiful baby doll I had ever seen. She had creamy white skin and long dark hair and the biggest blue eyes in the world. She was absolutely perfect. I used to go to sleep at night and pray that when I was all grown up, God would give me a little girl just as pretty and perfect as that doll. And you know what?"

"What?"

"He listened. He gave me you."

Liz tipped her head back and replied with a smile. Abbey fastened the barrette in the little girl's hair and pulled her closer to her chest, but Lizzie twisted herself around in her mother's arms to hug her tightly. She stretched her tiny head and gave her a sweet kiss before they jumped off the bed. 

"Let's make breakfast now!" 

"Sounds great!" Abbey picked up the book she had laid aside then followed her out the room. 

\- - -

Liz sat at the breakfast table attentively outlining the pictures in her coloring book. A box of Crayola crayons had been ripped open and the vibrant colors spilled from inside. A shocked Abbey didn't notice the stained tabletop as her hands retreated only inches from the phone she had just placed in the cradle. Her face was still dominated by features frozen in time when Jed finally walked in.

"Good morning."

Liz slammed down her crayon and jumped into his arms. "Daddy!" 

"Hi, Angel." 

"Mommy fixed my hair!" She moved her head to give him a view of the ribbons that dangled in the back.

"And she did a fabulous job!" His mood quickly changed when he caught a glimpse of Abbey. "What's wrong?"

Her heavy breathing was evident in the rapid movement of her chest as she gazed at her daughter. "Sweetie, why don't you go get cleaned up?"

"But I want to help with breakfast."

"You can do that later."

"But I..."

"Elizabeth, please." Her voice was firm enough to persuade Jed to lower her to the ground and send her on her way. Abbey watched Liz disappear into the bathroom before she continued. "Jed..."

"You're scaring me. What's going on?"

She had never delivered such bad news before and she wasn't sure she was ready to this time. She picked up his hands, joining their palms together. "Your brother Jack called when you were in the shower."

"Abbey, what is it?" He was losing his patience. Every moment she spent pondering her next word only added more frightening thoughts to the list of horrific scenarios he had impulsively contemplated.

"It's your mom. Your dad took her to the hospital last night. She had some pain in her chest and her stomach. She couldn't move her lower body." 

"Is she okay?"

The visible flash of hope that radiated from inside him gave her pause. She licked her lips and took a deep breath, dreading her next few words. 

"No, Jed, she isn't. She died, honey." His mouth hung open, but no words came out. Her hands reached out for him as he stumbled backwards until he eventually got a handle on the chair behind him. "The doctors said it was an aortic aneurysm. It burst. They don't even know how long she's had it. Possibly since childhood."

"It was in her heart? She used to have chest pain all the time when I was growing up."

"It may not have been related. Patients rarely exhibit symptoms, especially when it's in the thoracic section of the aorta as opposed to the abdominal region..."

He put his hands up and shook his head at her medical jargon. "Don't. Please. Just explain to me what happened."

Abbey approached him slowly, cautiously, and helped him sit in the chair, pulling another one up beside him. She went into as many details as she could about how an aneurysm can affect the human body, sometimes remaining dormant for eternity, and other times bursting and wreaking havoc on internal organs and eventually causing fatal consequences.

The words went into Jed's ears, but were never processed in his mind. Instead, his focus was grounded in the memories of his childhood and his time with his mother. They were never especially close. In fact, one could describe their relationship as stormy and turbulent, accentuated by rare tranquil moments. Inside the wall he had carefully constructed as a child, he hid the animosity he felt towards Diane Bartlet and her refusal to stand up to the cruel, domineering man she called her husband. 

Deep down, he understood his mother's neutrality, always believing it was simply part of her quest for household peace. But with every strike of his father's hand, the emotional pain inflicted by the neglect and, sometimes, indifference of Diane grew stronger and bolstered the feeling of resentment he carried with him to adulthood. 

Even more troubling than his memories were the thoughts that invaded them. His mother's death meant that Jed would have to face his father -- a man he hadn't seen since the day he married Abbey. He knew it was selfish that her death dwindled down to his unresolved hatred towards the elder Bartlet, but like an irrational fear that manifested into anxiety-ridden hysteria, the notion of spending any time at all with the abusive man caused Jed to panic.

"Jed? Jed?" Abbey waved her hand in front of his face in an effort to bring him out of his trance. 

"What?"

"I asked if you'd like to keep Lizzie home today?"

"No. I want her to go school and spend some time with her friends, playing and being happy. She doesn't need to be around here today."

"Then I should get ready or she'll be late."

"She needs breakfast."

"I'll pick something up for her on the way. I'm going to call in sick today and I'll go ahead and call in for you too." He gave her a silent nod. "I’ll bring you your breakfast on my way home.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Do you want to come with me? It might do you good to get some fresh air." This time a shake of the head answered her question. "Okay." He sat motionless as she leaned over the back of his chair and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

Jed spent the day in a silent daze, wandering from the sofa in the living room to a chair in the kitchen, tuning out Abbey's presence with every move. He had retreated into himself quite often as a boy and he quickly learned it was a defense mechanism still alive and well in his psyche. Among the feelings of shock and grief that burned within him, there was a feeling of guilt that stirred his emotions to the brink of eruption. But he restrained himself out of fear of losing control. 

His father taught a young Jed that men don't cry. They don't wear their hearts on their sleeve. And they certainly don't admit to vulnerability. Some of those hard-learned lessons faded from his memory when he met Abbey -- a woman who loved him unconditionally, who frequently reinforced her own ideas of openness, encouraging him to let go of the steel armor that used to guard his most intimate thoughts. 

Other lessons were more difficult to throw by the wayside and in times of tragedy, they easily resurfaced. 

\- - - 

Jed sat on the stoop outside the apartment for most of the afternoon and into the evening. A confused and uninformed Liz shared a strained dinner with her mother and tried to convince herself that everything was normal. The five-year-old noticed the tension in the home and the sadness that was predominantly visible on her father's face, but she dismissed the questions that lingered in her brain and focused on fixing the situation instead. 

She ran out the door and down the steps to stand in front of Jed. Her hand gestures gave away her excited and jovial mood before she even opened her mouth. "Can we go for ice cream early tonight? I want to you to watch The Brady Bunch with me later."

"Sweetie, your father won't be able to take you for ice cream tonight," Abbey said from the doorway before Jed had a chance to respond. She walked down the steps to join her daughter.

"We go every Friday."

"I know, but not this week, okay?"

"Why not? He promised he'd take me."

"Then I guess I'll have to take you," Abbey offered. "What do you say?"

Liz pondered the idea before smiling in agreement. "Okay."

"Run upstairs and get your jacket. It's chilly tonight."

Jed turned his head to watch her skip up to their apartment and inside the door. "Thank you," he said to Abbey.

"She doesn't know yet. I'm going to have to tell her."

"Yeah. It shouldn't be that bad. She never even met her."

Abbey sat down next to him, careful not to touch him until he gave her some indication that he wanted to be touched. "You haven't had anything to eat all day."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm keeping your dinner warm in case you change your mind." Another sad nod from him caused tears to well in her eyes. "Jed, I said it earlier, but I'd like to say it again. Honey, I want you to talk to me. It doesn’t matter what you say. If you just want to babble, that’s fine...”

"I know," he interrupted. “Later.”

"I'm ready!" Lizzie shouted from the top of the stairs.

Abbey held out her hand to guide the young girl. "Okay, come on. You can lead the way."

Liz stopped and turned around to face her mother. "I don't know the way."

"Well we'll just have to figure it out together."

The only smile to break on Jed's face came with the image of Abbey and Liz walking down the street hand-in-hand. But even that brief moment of peace came with a bitter reminder of the dysfunctional childhood he shared with his parents. 

By the time they returned, Liz's mood had completely changed, her demeanor expressive of the news Abbey had been forced to break. 

"Hi, Daddy," she said to him sadly.

"Hi. What's in the bag?" he asked, his attention focused on the brown pouch in Abbey's hand.

"Lizzie refused to eat her ice cream without you so we brought them home."

Liz took the bag from Abbey, pulled out one of the plastic containers of ice cream, and handed it to Jed. 

"Maybe later, Sweetheart."

"Okay, I'll save them for later," she replied as she began to wobble back up the stairs.

"Have you called your father?" Abbey asked.

"No."

"You're going to have to talk to him about funeral arrangements. Jack said they're planning something for early next week. If you want, I could call."

"It's okay. I'm going to have see the man in a week. I guess I can pick up the phone."

"I'm going to go help Lizzie with the freezer." She walked behind him and placed her hand gently on his shoulder before turning away. 

\- - -

Elizabeth’s fingers curled around the edge of the curtains. Her eyes peered through the glass and down at her father who sat in the same position he had been in hours earlier when she returned with ice cream. Her brows wrinkled and her neck twitched slightly at the sadness she felt for him.

"Lizzie, I told you to get ready for your bath ten minutes ago. What are you doing?" Abbey stood next to her and followed her stare out the window. "Do you want to go out there?" she asked in a quieter, gentler tone. Liz lowered her head unsure of how to answer. "He won't mind. In fact, you'll probably make him feel better."

"Okay."

Abbey opened the door and didn't take her eyes off her as she walked down the steps. Liz took a seat next to Jed and tilted her head onto his arm. He moved his body to help her settle in on his lap, where she sat comfortably leaning her head back against his chest. 

"Mommy said God needed another angel." She turned only half way to see him nod then faced forward once again. "Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"How does God know which angel to take?"

Abbey watched the scene from the top of the stairs. A single tear shined her eye before trailing down her cheek. The past fourteen hours had been rough, but they were nothing compared to what lay ahead. A father-son reunion was imminent and the consequences would be far-reaching for everyone involved. 

 

TBC


	7. Chapter Seven

The house was crowded with a sea of emotional guests all there to pay their final respects following the funeral. The turnout would convince a more ignorant person that Diane Eleanor Bartlet was loved by the masses, but truth be known, most of the people sobbing for her lost life were only acquaintances of the family, people who never really knew the real Bartlets.

Jed scanned the room of mourners. Some faces belonged to long-lost relatives whom he hadn't seen or talked to since he moved out of his parent's house. Others were people he wasn't sure he had ever even met before. But the one face Jed's eyes were continuously drawn to was that of his father. 

John was good at playing the grieving husband, but none of the tears or grief-stricken eulogies would convince him there was a wounded heart inside. To him, John was nothing more than a cold, bitter man filled with hate and driven to extremes by his hostile tendencies.

He exchanged a glance with Abbey and left the house, opting for quieter surroundings on the front porch. He lit a cigarette and began to puff away as she opened the door to join him.

"Hi."

He held the cigarette in front of him defiantly. "You're not going to talk me out of this."

She knew that. His only consolation today was the disgusting habit she had tried to rid him of for years. "I wasn't going to try."

He accepted her surrender and brushed the light dusting of snow off the window sill as he leaned up against it. "I can't go back in there."

"I wish I could say you didn't have to. But Jack and Kellie are worried about you."

He let out a bitter laugh, laced with sarcasm and hurt. "I see my brother once every few years. He doesn't even live on the East Coast. I talk to him once every six months, and all of a sudden, he and his wife act like we're inseparable."

"I didn't mean..."

"I know. I'll talk to him, don't worry." Abbey nodded but didn't verbally respond to his melancholy mood. "It's funny, isn't it? We can invest trillions of dollars to put a man on the moon but a doctor can't detect a bulge in a person's chest during a routine medical exam."

"Jed..."

"He should have listened to her. She told him countless times she was in pain. He never listened."

This is what Abbey feared. Jed had enough reasons to hate his father. Blaming his mother's death on him would just be the straw to break the camel's back. "He couldn't have known..."

"He should have known!" he shouted. "If you told me you were hurting, I would do something. He did nothing."

"Honey, I know you're angry. You're angry at your father, you're angry at your brother, you're angry at her doctors, and for reasons beyond my understanding, you're angry at me."

"See that's where you're wrong." He pulled the cigarette away from his lips and crushed it under his foot. "I'm not angry at you." 

Jed turned sharply and opened the door, his frame frozen solid at the sight in front of him. Abbey peered in over his shoulder and shared his dismay at the scene of John sitting on the sofa with Elizabeth in his lap. He ran his hand down the length of her hair, separating the strands with the tips of his fingers. 

Guests crowded behind them, momentarily blocking Jed and Abbey's view and forcing them to tilt their heads to see Liz turn in her grandfather's arms and plant a kiss on his cheek. Jed took a step closer to the duo, but was jerked back by Abbey. She kept one hand on him and one eye on her daughter until they were all alone. 

He paced the hardwood floors with a glass of scotch in his hands, occasionally taking a sip in between receiving condolences and saying goodbye to well-wishers. As the last couple left the house, he closed the door and faced his father with steely eyes harboring years of resentment.

If looks could kill... 

"How long can you stay?" John asked.

"Abbey's waking Lizzie right now. We have to get back."

"I'd like to see her again - Elizabeth."

It wasn't likely, but now wasn't the time. "Maybe."

"I'd like to spend some time with her. Your mother...she never got to know her – her own granddaughter and she never really knew her." There's nothing like a touch of guilt to make a point. 

"Lizzie’s busy with school this time of year."

"She's in kindergarten," he countered. "How busy can she be? Anyway, she tells me she gets to see her other grandparents frequently."

"Abbey's parents live only ten minutes from us. You live an hour away."

"Not for long," he mumbled just loud enough for Jed to hear.

"What?"

"This house is too big, especially without Diane. She and I still have that property in Randolph. I'm thinking about making a move."

"Why? Just to see Lizzie?"

"And my new grandbaby. That is, after Abbey gets pregnant again." Jed swallowed back the anger that threatened to erupt and instead, shot him a look of confusion. "Jack told me." John backed up towards the couch and collapsed down onto the cushion. "So when do I get to see her?"

"Never," he replied bitterly.

He wasn't surprised, but he had prepared for his son's stubbornness. "Think about Elizabeth. She never got to meet her grandmother and now she's dead. The only memory she'll ever have is this funeral. Don't deprive her - or me - of the right to get to know one another. Don't do to me what you did to your mother."

"What I did..."

"The stress of your abandonment..."

"What?" His reaction was almost a laugh at the absurdity of his father's statement. 

"She wanted to see you."

"You're going to lecture me on being a bad son?" His voice was strong, his body rigid as he glared into John's eyes. 

"No. There's been enough blame. All I want is what Diane didn't get to have. Resolution. A relationship with you. With Abbey and Elizabeth. I want a family."

Despite his best efforts, it was difficult for Jed to ignore the spark of hope John's words ignited deep within his soul. He prayed to hear those words every night when he was a teenager only to have his optimism fade away in the morning light. Maybe now was the time. 

As Abbey walked down the stairs, Jed forced his gaze away from his father and focused on his wife. He took a sleepy Liz from her arms and with a hasty, impersonal goodbye, he left.

He remained quiet on the drive home, only interrupting the soundless refuge to ask if she needed him to stop anywhere. She held his hand in hers and stroked his fingers gently. He reveled at the uncanny ability she always had to make him feel at ease without uttering a single word.

The silence in the car was acceptable, but once he put Liz in her bed after they arrived home, he knew it was time to talk. Abbey sat at the kitchen table, her hands folded under her chin expectantly.

"She's exhausted. I think she's going to sleep straight through." It was a lousy attempt at avoiding her stare. "What?"

"I'm just worried about you."

"No need to be." Jed pulled a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with tap water. He set it on the counter without ever taking a sip. His hands rested on either side as he took a deep breath. "Did you tell Jack we were planning for another baby?"

"I told Kellie we had discussed it. Why?"

He turned towards her, his face unreadable. "My father knows."

"What did he say?"

"He said now that we're extending our family, he wants to spend more time with Lizzie, with me, with you. He wants us in his life."

Knowing Jed as well as she did, Abbey always suspected Jed would give anything to capture his father's interest. She tried to restrain the smile that immediately curved her lips, but to no avail. "Is that a bad thing?"

No doubt about it, he was annoyed with the question. "Of course it's a bad thing."

"I just mean maybe...maybe he's changed. And it would be good for Lizzie to get to know him - with one of us there, of course." 

"I was Lizzie's age the first time he hit me." 

Abbey shifted uncomfortably in her chair at the image of John Bartlet ever hurting her husband and the possibility that he could hurt her daughter as well. “I’m so sorry.”

"He'll never change. The only way to deal with him is to get away from him, if you're lucky. If you're not, you're trapped with him forever while you watch everyone else leave and never look back, ostracizing you in an effort to escape him." 

He was different. The bitterness he held inside was no longer restrained by the tolerant veneer he had been using to mask his anger. His eyes no longer stared at her. They were vacant and narrow, reflective of the endless questions she knew were lingering in his mind. 

"It wasn't your fault," she said firmly.

Jed blinked a few times and shook his head to regain his focus. "What?"

"Your mom. You hadn't talked to her in years. She called just last week. I know because I took the message. You never called her back, did you?" His silent response was her confirmation. She stood up and approached him. "You had no way of knowing."

"I don't want to hear that right now."

"Well, you're going to have to...because you've managed to bury all your emotions deep inside yourself and that guilt that's eating away at you, it's not going to go away by itself."

"You have no idea how I'm feeling. You haven't got a clue." Though his words may have been sharp, his voice was still calm.

"You're right. I haven't been where you are, but I know that since this whole thing happened, you haven't shed a single tear." He rolled his eyes at her observation, but she didn't back down. "Why?"

"You tell me. You claim to know me better than I know myself. You tell me why I haven't found it in me to cry. Tell me why I can't bring myself to mourn for the woman who gave me life." There was more of a twinge of hostility now. He was unmistakably irritated, but she held her ground.

"Because it's so much easier to pretend. You can’t bring yourself to grieve, Jed. You refuse to do it because grieving for her would mean that you give a damn and that's the last thing you want. You don't want to admit it with her and you sure as hell don't want to admit it with him."

"What does my father have to do with this?"

"He made you leave. He made you leave that house and he made you leave your mother. It's because of him that you're angry with yourself and you hate him even more for that."

"See, this is one of those times when you don't know me better than I know myself. They exist. I know you think they don't, but they do." He walked around her as she spun on her heels to follow. "I'm not mad because he made me leave. I'm mad at her because she let this happen. She let him do what he did, she let him get away with treating all of us - me, Jack, and even her - like trash. She never stood up to him. That's why she died without any of us there. That's why she died without ever getting to know her granddaughter, without me ever taking her call." His voice caught in his throat at the first visible expression of remorse and grief. He continued with a harsher voice that was much louder than it had been. "One of the last things she did before she left this world was reach out to me and I didn't reach back." His anger and sorrow collided as he slammed his fist into the wall. A few tears flowed freely without any attempt to stop them. His features crunched up at the wave of regret that came from deep inside. "Oh God. Why didn't I reach back?"

Abbey gingerly approached him from behind and wrapped her arms under his, pulling them up towards his chest. "I'm sorry. I’m so sorry." 

She kissed the back of his neck tenderly, refusing to let go when the onslaught of gut-wrenching sobs caused his body to shudder against hers and collapse to the ground. 

She lay on top of him, holding him tighter as he moved against her hold until he finally relented. He could have escaped her grasp if he wanted to, but deep down, that wasn't what he wanted. Her touch was the only thing that kept him from losing complete control, that kept him sane amid the outcry of anguish and heartbreak that seeped within him.

\- - -

The morning light shone through the windows. Abbey closed her eyes tightly before opening them wide. They had fallen asleep in that position -- Jed on the floor, curled up beneath her, her arms wrapped securely around him, comforting and consoling him. She untangled their arms and sat on the carpet beside him allowing her finger to trace his profile adoringly. He stirred slightly and opened his eyes to narrow slits. 

She held her hair back as she bent down to kiss his cheek. "Hi."

"Hi." His eyes were red and puffy. They ached from the dryness that came after his barrage of tears.

"How do you feel?"

"Drained. And tired."

She reached out her hand to help him sit up. "I'm not surprised. Last night was the first night you actually slept in days." He expected her to know that. Though she tried to make it through the night, she could always tell when his warm body wasn't sleeping next to her. "It's going to take some time to work through everything. And I'll be right here every step of the way. But right now, lets pile you into bed while I jump in the shower."

With their arms joined, they stood up together. Usually strong and sturdy, Jed's body hung forward, a result of his exhaustion. Abbey guided him to the bed and pulled back the covers. She fluffed his pillow and tucked him in with the same care she always used with their daughter before retreating into the bathroom to begin her morning. 

\- - -

Elizabeth took her usual spot on the kitchen counter. Her hair spilled over her head as she leaned forward to look into the muffin tray and admire the raw sticky dough cluttered with blueberries. 

She leaned up long enough to catch Abbey's attention. "Can I have a blueberry?" 

"Not until it's cooked."

"Why?"

"Because raw dough is bad for you. Besides, it'll spoil your breakfast."

Her eyes closed with disappointment only momentarily. Her old spark was back the second Jed wandered in to the kitchen. "Hi, Daddy!"

"Good morning, Angel!" he scooped her up into his arms as he dipped his finger into the raw muffin dough and licked it clean. 

"Daddy's eating the muffin mix," she giggled.

"Jed."

He wagged his finger at Liz. "Fink." It was said softly enough that he could turn an innocent eye to Abbey only seconds later. "What?"

She shook her head, unable to hide her amusement. "I just told Lizzie she can't have any. It's not safe."

"I know you think that, but there's no definitive proof of raw eggs responsible for illness. Besides, it's tasty." He dipped another finger into the dough and offered it to Liz. 

"When you're finished making a mess of it, could you please put it in the oven?"

He opened the oven door and popped the tray inside. After closing it, he set his hands on the counter to trap Abbey in front of him. "Thank you...for last night."

"Why aren't you still asleep?"

"I heard you and Lizzie out here. I just wanted to be part of the action."

She playfully smacked his chin and maneuvered her arm under his to handle the skillet on the stove. "You feel like eggs this morning?"

"Sure. But we had eggs yesterday. Doesn't that go against some heart-healthy rule or something?" This was the Jed she knew and loved. His mood had lightened. Maybe not drastically, but at least he was back to teasing her again. 

"This is something new." She pulled herself away from him to rinse a bowl in the sink. "They're egg substitutes."

"Substitutes?" he and Liz asked together.

"Why do eggs need to be substituted?" Jed continued.

"Because the real thing is bad for you."

There it was -- that infamous eye-roll she was sure he would give in response. "Am I ever going to be able to take you away from the evil lessons they're teaching you in med school?"

She let out a halfhearted laugh. "I'm afraid not," she replied, remembering he still had no idea of the harassment she was facing at the hospital. 

"I want to run something by you," he said, interrupting her thoughts. 

"Go for it."

"I'd like to maybe...I just think that there are too many regrets..." She nodded her head, encouraging him to go on. "I'd like to...invite my father over for Thanksgiving dinner. Is that okay?"

She sympathetically swayed her head to the side as a moment of silence passed through the room. "Jed, you don't need my permission to invite anyone over."

"Yeah, but I want your opinion. Would it be okay? I mean, would you feel uncomfortable with him here?"

"If you're comfortable with it, then so am I." She continued to scramble the eggs but was drawn to him once more when he didn't move. "And I think it's a lovely thought," she added with a hint of reassurance in her voice and a stroke of his cheek.

He placed his hand over hers and smiled softly. He was still unsure whether or not he was headed down a path of self-destruction, but with Abbey's support, the outcome, whatever it was, would be easier to tolerate than it ever had been before. 

 

TBC


	8. Chapter Eight

Usually, it's inside a hospital room where patients are poked and prodded that an aspiring physician can learn the art of healing. But in Dr. Kyle Nelson's world, the enclosed walls that give shelter from the prying eyes of hospital staff also provide a silent sanctuary to torment and humiliate med students. 

He stood with his clipboard in hand, his eyes narrowing with suspicion, ready to pounce on the slightest error as his newest target - Abbey - examined her patient. 

"How long have you felt this way?" Abbey asked.

"Just since this morning."

"Okay." Visibly unsure of herself, Abbey looked to Kyle while speaking. "I'd like to order a visual scan to check for signs of facial drooping, a CBC and a CT scan."

With a familiar grin plastered on his face, Kyle put his pen to paper and began to take notes, making Abbey fidget with insecurity. "Is that all?" he asked her.

"Yes?" It was a question, rather than an answer, asked with a twinge of uneasiness.

"Okay." With the tilt of his head, Abbey and her two classmates picked up on his gesture to leave the room and form a small huddle in the hall. "Is there anything you forgot in there?" 

"I don't think so."

"The patient is female, Bartlet. Does that mean anything to you?"

Abbey sighed at the sudden realization. "I forgot to ask the date of her last menstrual cycle," she admitted softly.

"That's correct. And that should be the first question you ask before you order ANY tests. You could have opened us up to one hell of a lawsuit if she had been pregnant." He shook his head in disgust. "Sequence!" he exclaimed, now facing all the students. "WHEN you do your job is just as important as HOW you do your job. You have to know what to look for." He approached Abbey in an effort to stare her down. "I know you're a student, Bartlet, but the least you can do is PRETEND to be a competent one."

Abbey let her emotions shrink into her subconscious. She flinched as he stood in front of her and regrouped the second he turned away. This was part of med school and she accepted that, but she had camped out on the hills of hell for eight weeks now and she couldn't wait for these last few days to be over so she could finally escape Kyle's clutches. 

As her classmates followed Kyle down the corridor, she stood perfectly still, reeling from all the effort it took to bite her tongue during his lecture.

"Don't let him get to you." 

She turned around to face the voice coming from nurse's station. "Excuse me?"

"He's like that with all the students. Well, all the female ones. It's not personal."

Abbey approached the woman cautiously. "Hi. Nurse Lowell, right?" She had only met her once, but made it a priority to learn everyone's name.

"Call me Amy." She extended her hand to shake Abbey's. 

"I'm Abbey. So how long have you been a nurse here?"

"Five years. And I've seen worse than Dr. Nelson, believe it or not. It's like they take such pleasure in bringing down the students who are the most capable, the most dedicated - unfortunately, those very students are usually female. I keep hoping they'll figure out the connection between women and bedside manner, but they never do."

Abbey didn't try to stop the laugh that escaped her lips. "So how do I fight it?"

"I can tell you what your predecessor told me about how she got through it. You do your job the best you can. If the opportunity presents itself, win some points with his superior. And if you get to make him eat dirt in the process, no one's gonna blame you."

Another ally. Another person who was on her side, silently cheering in the corner. It was the kind of support that she would count on to push her past the obstacles Kyle had set in her path. 

In the meantime, home was her oasis. The only thing that kept her sanity in-check during her long hospital shifts was the thought of spending the evening with Jed and Elizabeth. 

She walked in the front door to the smell of grilled chicken, still warm on the stove. A pot of brown rice and another with steam vegetables tempted her taste buds, but after closing her eyes to savor the enticing aroma, she followed the sound of laughter echoing from Liz's room. 

Her posture suddenly gave way to a much more relaxed, uninhibited stance, a result of her stress melting away at the sight of Jed sitting on the floor and grappling with the complexities of Candyland to determine why his gingerbread man was lagging behind his daughter's.

She let out a small undetected laugh at the confusion on his face. "Can I play?" 

"Mommy!" Liz called out as she bolted from her seat to greet Abbey with a hug. 

If the earlier scene wasn't enough to shake her from her thoughts of the hospital, the small hands that cradled her waist were sure to do the trick. "How are you, Baby Doll?"

"Fine. I'm winning!"

Abbey led her back to the game, encouraging her to continue. "I see that. I think Daddy needs to brush up on his Candyland skills," she teased.

Jed shot her an evil eye which was replaced almost immediately with a sweet smile. "How was your day?" 

She avoided his stare and shuffled the cards instead. "Not bad."

"I kept dinner warm. I'll make you a plate." He rose to his feet, ready to head towards the kitchen.

"I can do that." She held him back with her hands which he gracefully removed from his chest and caressed with a small kiss.

"No, sit here and fill in for me." He poked his head back in the room only seconds later. "Make sure Lizzie doesn't cheat."

Abbey laughed as she pulled her legs in front of her to sit comfortably. "Okay, so where am I?"

Liz stretched out on her stomach, her blue eyes staring at Abbey through her long, dark lashes. "You're lost in the Lollipop Woods."

"Ohhh, so that's why your Dad was so quick to let me take over? It's nearly impossible to get out of here."

"Uh huh." She giggled. "And I can read 'lollipop' all by myself."

"You can?" Pride and happiness collided in her wet eyes. "Did Daddy help you read tonight?"

"Lizzie!" Jed's deep voice bellowed from the living room forcing Liz to sit up with alarm. "What did I tell you about using your nail polish when your Mom's not home?"

"I didn't," she insisted somewhat convincingly.

"Oh really?" He held up the incriminating evidence to the contrary - several pieces of paper colorfully outlined with pink polish. 

Abbey squinted, trying to examine what he was holding. "Oh no. What is it?"

"It's a student's paper written for my World Econ class. I was grading it tonight."

Liz kept her eyes glued to the board, absently picking at lint on the border.

Abbey reached across and cupped her chin to lift her head. "Elizabeth."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled sadly. "I didn't know I spilled it." 

"You know you're not supposed to use nail polish without me or Daddy helping you."

Liz's somber frown erased Jed's frustration. He plopped down on the edge of her small bed and took her hand. "It's okay. I had already read the paper anyway and I know the kid has a copy of it, so no harm done."

Liz's face suddenly lit up. "Then can we finish playing?"

And with that, the problem was over - at least for father and daughter. 

\- - -

Jed watched closely as Abbey repeatedly pounded on her pillow in bed later that night. She flipped it over and crashed down on top of it, only to sit up and repeat the process all over again. He propped himself up on his elbow, trying to steady himself against the jarring motions her flips and turns caused. 

"Should I get the Dramamine?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Just tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing. I just have my general medicine exam coming up and I'm on-edge." With all her strength, she bore down on the mattress to give herself enough spring to rotate firmly to the other side.

"How can a person as little as you pack so much power? I swear, it's like you gain 50 pounds whenever you spin up in the air like that." 

She wasn't amused. With her back to him, she twisted her body to face him. "It doesn't bother you that every time we question Lizzie about something her first instinct is to lie?"

“Whoa.” His grin faded with the humorless look on her face. "Where did that come from?"

"Jed, I'm serious. When you asked her about the nail polish, the first thing she said was that she didn't do it."

"Yeah, but she came clean."

"Sure, after you showed her proof of her lie."

"She was afraid of getting in trouble," he reasoned.

"I don't know why since you never stand up to her." 

“Abbey.” He was shocked at her terse tone.

“Sorry.”

"Do you want me to yell at her for every little thing she does?"

"No, of course not." She sighed as she slid onto her back. "Maybe you're right. I'm not thinking very clearly right now."

"Your whole system is tied up in knots."

"Once this rotation and the subsequent exam are over, I'll be back to my old self."

“So you’ve said.” Jed placed a finger under her chin to bring her lips to his with a kiss. "In the meantime, what can I do to take your mind off it and help you get some sleep?"

"Well..." She began seriously. Her eyes crossed to the corner and she snuggled closer to him much more flirtatiously than he expected. "...there is one thing."

He got the hint. "Mmm hmm." 

She relaxed her head in response to his warm breath on her neck. "Roll over."

"What?"

"Roll over." 

He trusted her, at least for the moment, and did as she asked. Abbey hopped on his back, straddling his hips. She dug her fingers into his shoulders manipulating the muscles that made him groan. Her fingers kneaded the soft flesh of his upper back before gliding down the length of his spine with subtle pressure.

"Abigail?"

"Mmm?"

"Are you practicing on me?"

"Just enjoy the massage."

He reached up and grabbed her wrist as it passed by the middle of his back. "You don't fool me, you know. I still remember your anatomy class. I must have laid here stark naked for two hours while you played pin the body part on my flesh. My muscles and veins are still recovering from all that pricking."

"I thought you liked it when we played doctor, Babe," she teased. "Besides, you got your reward, didn't you?"

He rolled out from under her and when she fell to his side, he held her down beside him. "Yes, I did." 

"I thought you wanted me to pass my test."

"I do, but I think there are better ways to help you study."

She pressed her body harder into his, her legs instinctively wrapping themselves around his hips. He yanked her shirt over her head and quickly discarded her bra, eager to reveal the soft mounds of skin underneath. She pulled down his pants and stroked his thigh, her hands taking a break to help him rip off her panties. He grabbed her calves and pulled her down the bed until he was positioned between her legs. With lips planted firmly on hers, his hand reached for the light. 

 

TBC


	9. Chapter Nine

Elizabeth stood at Abbey's side on the tips of her toes, teetering dangerously on the top step of the step-stool. She stretched her tiny body to look over the counter at the rustic metal candleholders Abbey was preparing. Her baby teeth hung over her lips as she bit down in anticipation. The same look of impatience her father had perfected was visible in the sparkling eyes Abbey was drawn to as she watched Liz wrap her fingers around the candles and step down to walk to the dinner table. 

"Here?" she asked her mother, her feet losing contact with the ground as she hung over the mahogany wood. 

"Yep, right there. And you can put the other one on this side." After she guided her hand to the right spot, she proudly noted Liz's face beaming at the triumphant placement.

Jed had spent the morning watching Liz help Abbey bake pies and side dishes, but it was seeing them set the finishing touches on the Thanksgiving dinner table together that filled him with a feeling of warmth and security. "Good job, Lizzie!"

"She's been wonderful all day as Mommy's little helper," Abbey added. "She even pinched the pie crust."

"It was fun!"

"Yes, it was." Abbey kneeled down to her eye level. "Why don't you go get ready. You can wear your blue dress."

As she enthusiastically ran to her bedroom, Jed helped Abbey up and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Just a quick question," he bent down to whisper in her ear. "There are real eggs in the pie, right?" She turned slightly and replied with a silent roll of her eye. "I'm just saying the last time you used a proxy for me and Lizzie, neither one of us finished breakfast."

"There will be real eggs in the pie," she confirmed. "Rick called earlier?"

"Huh?" It was a lame attempt at dodging the question.

"That was Rick on the phone, right? How many other people is he bringing?"

He surrendered after a look at the grin on her face, a testament to how well she knew him. "It's no big deal."

"Jed?"

"His cousin Jessie is visiting. He can't leave her there alone."

She nodded. "So, he's bringing his cousin Jessie." It was more of a statement than a question.

"And her husband." He looked up to catch her stare and waited for her to return her attention to the table before continuing. "Also, he found a date," he mumbled under his breath.

"What?" He offered her a seat in front of him and began to massage her shoulders from behind.

"He found a date." It was repeated in a more forceful tone. "What was I supposed to say?"

"Well, for starters, you could have asked me if we have enough food." 

"Do we?"

For a second, evil thoughts plagued her mind as she visualized the colorful possibilities that would arise with her answer. But one look at his panic-stricken face she couldn't go through with it. "Yeah," she replied instead. "Now ask me why."

"Why?"

She rose from the table and rubbed her hands together, wiping them on the apron around her waist. "Because I've been married to you for six years and once you invited our mailman, I knew this was going to be one of those Thanksgivings." 

"What do you mean by that?" He approached her with a stronger voice to compensate for the sound of the water she just turned on. "We had quiet holidays in London."

"Yeah and as soon as we got back to the States, you were entirely too eager to make up for them. That's why you go overboard."

"I do not go overboard." He handed her a couple of paper towels to dry her hands.

"Sweetheart, I love you." She crossed in front of him and stopped just behind him, her voice now a low whisper. "You go overboard." She ducked his hand and wandered towards the bedroom.

He knew that. He accepted that. And so did she. Jed Bartlet was a man who enjoyed the company of others, whether it was for Thanksgiving dinner or just a simple get-together. In his world, the more loving and friendly the surroundings, the more festive the gathering. 

With the meal prepared and the table set, he followed Abbey a few minutes after she retreated into the bedroom, but instead of her frantically rushing to get ready, he was overcome by a quieter, more somber Abbey. He noticed her walking with a softer bounce in her step. She slipped her dress on over her head, allowing the soft, flowing white fabric to glide down her skin with very little effort to straighten the line. 

She took a comb to her hair, but it barely touched the top layer of her auburn tresses. Her lips were creased and curved just a little and her eyes had lost their dazzling shine. He simply stood still for a moment to stare at her reflection in the mirror.

"Honey, what is it?" he finally asked with the palms of his hands now resting on her upper arms.

"I'm just trying to get ready," she said. 

“Abbey?"

“I got my period," she admitted after a brief silence.

He took a deep breath, partly relieved it wasn't anything more serious. "That's okay. We'll try again." 

"I know," she replied with a small glimmer of a smile forming on her lips. "Half the fun is in trying, right?"

"Right."

He turned her towards him to steal a kiss, but just as their lips touched, the doorbell rang out. Jed slipped on another shirt and headed out the bedroom as Liz walked in with her silver necklace held loosely around her neck. 

Abbey sat on the bed and pulled her in front to help her with the clasp. "You look beautiful."

She returned the compliment, her cheeks flushed with energy. "So do you."

Hand-in-hand, they started to walk out, but Abbey paused as they passed her antique vanity. "One last thing." She picked up her bottle of perfume and dampened her own skin with a quick spritz, then sprayed Lizzie.

"It smells good." She rubbed her wrists together and sniffed the fragrance just as she watched her mother do seconds earlier, then followed her out. 

\- - -

The guests crowded around the rented table, squeezing together to make room for the large number Jed had invited. He scanned the smiling faces staring back at him, but the one face he was truly moved to see was his father's. John Bartlet was fumbling with the name cards Liz had painted onto clean autumn leaves and placed on the plates. He let the leaf fall from his hands and caught a glimpse of his son's snooping eyes.

"The dinner looks great, Jed," he told him. 

No words were necessary to express the silent "thank you" that crossed Jed's face. He smiled at John and took his seat. 

Most people were oblivious to the exchange but to Abbey, the only moment that could compare to Jed's heartwarming reaction was the image of Liz adjusting the headband on one-year-old Chloe's head. 

"I think she likes you, Lizzie," Millie assured her. Chloe giggled and reached out her little fingers to grab at Liz's hair playfully.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Sweetie?"

Liz turned in her chair to face her mother with a plea. "If I promise to pick up my toys and clean my room every single day for the rest of the year, can I keep her? Please?"

Laughter resonated through the dining room and Liz scrunched her face in confusion.

"I'm afraid not," Abbey replied humorously.

John picked up his glass of water and held it out towards the little girl. "It's okay, Elizabeth. This time next year, you're going to be a big sister."

"I am?" The excitement caused her voice to climb a few octaves and sparked silence among crowd.

The guests stared at Abbey for confirmation until James finally spoke up. "Abbey, are you..." 

"No, Dad, I'm not. I'm not pregnant."

That firm declaration was enough to drastically alter the mood in the room. Jed shook his head in his father's direction, a gesture that alerted everyone the subject wasn't up for discussion. 

Following dinner, John sat on the floor with his back leaned against the sofa. Liz wobbled around in his lap, pointing to words in Dr. Seuss's The Cat In The Hat and looking to him for help when she stumbled. With every sentence she read, he encouraged her to read another. From the kitchen, Jed and Abbey couldn't help being taken in by the scene.

"Go," Abbey urged him when she saw him longing to be part of the fun. 

With a peck on the cheek, he handed her the dish he had just rinsed off and passed by Millie on his way to the living room. 

"So a baby, huh?" Millie prodded Abbey.

"Maybe."

She nodded and picked up a plate to help. "How did you do on your general med exam?"

Abbey looked down at the dishwater in an attempt to avoid Millie's stare. "Why?"

"Just curious."

"I did fine. I passed," she said quickly as she turned away to dry a glass.

“What do you mean you passed?”

“I mean I passed. It’s over. I’m just glad I passed.”

"You're usually at the top of your class, Abbey. Now you just passed?" It was a rhetorical question. "When do you take the USMLE?"

"In January."

Millie immediately picked up on her hesitation and fearful demeanor. "I'm worried that this Dr. Nelson is really doing a number on you." Abbey ignored her concern. "I'm also worried that that's why you want another baby now - in the middle of med school when you barely have time to breathe. Believe me, I know how difficult it is..."

"It’s third year that’s the killer, Millie. You had Chloe at the start of your residency. If I have another baby, he or she won't be born until next year. A baby in your fourth year of medical school isn't that uncommon. The year is filled with elective rotations and interviews for residency anyway. I can handle it."

"I just hope you're not looking for excuses to drop out of school."

Abbey leaned down on her hand which she planted firmly on the counter to flash her fiery green eyes at her friend. "I'm not." 

It was an honest look, a determined look. It was a look she hadn't seen in Abbey since she admitted she was pregnant with Lizzie.

Meanwhile, in the next room, John continued to turn the pages in Liz's book while she slowly sounded out the words. Jed, James, and Mary sat close by, watching the pair adoringly.

When they reached the last page, Liz set the book down and glanced up at her father. "Daddy, can Grandfather come over again?"

"You know, I was supposed to babysit Lizzie on Monday. If John would rather watch her..." 

Jed fidgeted in his seat at Mary's proposal. "No, I don't think so."

"Why not, Son? I'd love to sit with Elizabeth," John replied.

"Yeah, Daddy. Please? I wanna play Candyland with him!"

"Lizzie, I said no." It came out harsher than he intended. "Sweetie, I'm just not sure it's a good idea."

John's temper simmered below the surface when he sensed what Jed was really trying to say. "You don't want me to watch your daughter? You don't trust me." 

It was an implication no one but John had picked up on. 

Mary tried to throw water on the flame that was starting to ignite. "I'm sure that's not it."

"Please don't help," Jed warned her.

"Of course that's it. Jed thinks I was a lousy father and he doesn't trust me with his little girl."

John's voice had risen to catch everyone's attention. He hugged Liz tightly then set her down on the floor. Waving off Jed's help, his hands gripped the edge of the sofa to hoist himself up. Abbey stood motionless in the kitchen as Jed chased his father out the door.

Mary addressed her daughter for answers. "I don't understand."

"It's complicated."

No one but Abbey knew about the abuse Jed faced at the hands of John Bartlet. No one but Abbey was supposed to know. But the disaster that had just unfolded sparked many questions in the minds of all the spectators, especially Lizzie. 

"Dad, wait!" Jed called out to a frantic John who sprinted down the concrete steps outside.

"You love embarrassing me in front of others, don't you?"

"That isn't what I was doing."

"How many of them know what a horrible father you think I was? How many ears have you filled with lies about how I treated you?"

Ignoring the question, Jed instead focused on his chosen words. "I've never lied about you. Nothing I have ever said has been a lie." To break the silence that loomed between them, he decided to come clean. "You want to know the truth? No, I don't trust you with Lizzie."

"Imagine my surprise."

"Your idea of discipline isn't the same as mine."

"What discipline? From everything I've observed and from what Elizabeth has told me, you never discipline her."

John was no longer the only one angry. Jed stared him down with an incredulous look of contempt. "That's none of your business." 

He let out a bitter laugh before replying. "Don't talk to me about your brand of parenting when parenting shouldn't even be part of your vocabulary. You don't know what it takes to be a father. You haven't become one yet."

"Because I don't beat my child?" The pacing and sharp movements from John only fueled Jed's temper. "You see, this is exactly why I don't want you alone with Lizzie. You're not allowed to see her - not without me or Abbey there in the room with you!" 

John matched his loud, strong voice. "I don't need supervision! I raised you and Jack just fine!"

Without taking even a second between the end of John's sentence and the beginning of his, Jed responded. "Then why can't I stop hating you?" 

It may have been cruel and Jed acknowledged that, but words spoken in the heat of the moment weren't always untrue. 

Still, the pained expression on John's face gave Jed pause. He extended his hand and attempted to take his father's arm, but John violently pushed him aside and brushed by him as he left. Jed stood in the cold New England air and watched him disappear around the corner.

 

TBC


	10. Chapter Ten

Silently, Jed and Abbey cleared the counter of the clutter that remained after the guests had left. Since the confrontation with his father, any attempt at conversation was squashed by Jed's imaginative efforts to segue the discussion to more disagreeable topics. The only congenial words he had spoken were farewell wishes to the friends and family he had invited for dinner.

It was a difficult request to fulfill, but Abbey gave him the time he wanted to map out his thoughts. The next move was now his and just as she worried, he was reluctant to make it.

After cleaning up the kitchen, they followed one behind the other into the bedroom. Her eyes never left him, but he didn't return the stare. Instead, he simply pulled back the covers and slid under the sheets fully clothed as she changed into her pajamas. 

"You're going to sleep in that?" she asked.

"I'm tired. I don't feel like changing." 

She expected the prickly, brash tone he had used earlier. Instead, his voice was monotone, devoid of any feeling along with pitch. "And you still don't feel like talking?"

"I really don't." It was a firm declaration and the thought to accept it did cross her mind.

She decided against it. "Did he mention anything at all about blurting out to everyone that we were trying to have another baby?"

"Were you in the room a second ago when I said I didn't want to talk about it? I wasn't kidding. I don't want to talk about it." He was terse this time as he reached up to turn off the lamp on the nightstand. 

She waited for his arm to rest back under the covers then turned the light back on. "I do."

"Abbey, please. I just want to get some sleep." 

Disregarding his appeal, she continued. "You're not even going to tell me what happened out there?"

"No. I'm not. Not tonight." 

She stood staring at him with her arms folded over her chest, unwilling to abandon her curiosity. One eye popped open to the image in front of him and he immediately deduced it was going to be a long night. He slipped his elbow under him to act as a headrest. 

"Okay, fine. Let's talk. I told my father I didn't trust him to be alone with Lizzie. Your turn."

"What?"

"What was Millie so concerned about?" He turned the tables on her, something to which she didn't respond well. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." With a slip of the light switch, she walked to her side of the bed. 

He turned the light back on and propped himself against the headboard. "Sure you do. You just hate it when I give you a dose of your own medicine. It's that old hypocritical side of you...”

“Excuse me, did you just call me a hypocrite?”

“I was saying, it’s that old hypocritical side of you I've learned to love. When you and Millie were in the kitchen, I distinctly heard her say she was worried about you. Why?"

"Well since you were eavesdropping why don't you tell me?" 

"I couldn't hear the rest. But I know that something has been going on with you for weeks now. What is it?"

“This is rich. You keep me in the dark about your feelings and then you call ME the hypocrite.” She snapped her head back, the rest of her body still facing away from him. 

"Abbey?" He was leaning over her back now, his tenacious nature taking over.

"It's nothing. Turn off the light and go to bed." 

"Not until you answer my question."

She pushed the covers off her body and sat up. "What did your father say when you told him why you didn't trust him to be around Lizzie?" she asked, her voice reinvigorated for another round.

He could accept defeat, just this once. It was easier than dredging up all the raw emotions that simmered beneath the surface, threatening to explode. He turned off the light and pulled on the covers, giving them an extra tug to express his displeasure.

\- - -

The next morning, the pair exchanged tenuous glances over breakfast. Abbey mulled her fork around her eggs without actually eating while Jed just simply dropped his utensils on the plate in a much more obvious way of acknowledging the tension. At least arguments he could fix with an apology. When it came to simple marital strain, he was usually at a loss. 

Elizabeth's eyes darted back and forth between her mother and her father as she wondered why they weren't enjoying their usual morning meal complete with trivia or long Latin lectures about the history of bread. 

She finally broke the silence. "When am I going to be a big sister?" 

"Not for a while," both Jed and Abbey answered simultaneously.

“Look...” Jed began, addressing his wife.

“I’d really rather not get into it.”

“I wasn’t going to start anything.”

“Then what were you going to say?”

After he flashed a sheepish grin towards Abbey, he turned his attention to Liz. "Lizzie, come here." 

She did as he said and when she got to his side of the table, Jed whispered in her ear, kissed her cheek, and patted her on the back to send her on her way. Liz approached her mother then and stretched her body while pulling Abbey's face down to eye level to kiss her cheek. 

"That's from Daddy."

"Tell Daddy if he really means it, he'll come over and do it himself."

Liz opened her mouth to repeat Abbey's words, but paused as she watched Jed take Abbey's hand and kneel beside her chair to press his lips onto hers.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much."

Still perplexed by what was going on, Jed hid his intrigue in the interest of marital harmony. The first few days were easy. He avoided the topic altogether and so did she. Abbey even joined him and Liz on their traditional Friday night ice cream run. It was as if whatever burden had been weighing her down had now been lifted off her shoulders.

But Sunday provided another sleepless night for Abbey as her mind raced with images of Kyle Nelson. Though her new rotation had started and she was no longer seeing him on a daily basis, his influence and criticism had boundless consequences. She wasn't the same Abigail Bartlet who began medical school with wide-eyed determination. Something inside her clouded her confidence, made her question her competence at healing, and destroyed the spark of aspiration that took root in her heart when she was a young girl.

With every toss and turn of her petite frame, Jed's curiosity grew. Abbey was usually a sound sleeper. The last time she had been so plagued by restlessness while refusing his comfort was during their troubles in London. This time, he had been completely shut out. All he could piece together was that he wasn't the only one who noticed Abbey's stress level had elevated dramatically. Millie was concerned as well and Millie's concern only intensified his. 

Monday morning's breakfast chatter was more spirited than Jed had expected, but it didn't relieve the mystery looming in the background. He was desperate for answers and since Abbey wasn't volunteering them, he contemplated taking matters into his own hands.

\- - -

Nurse Amy Lowell was examining medical forms that had just been returned to her when Abbey stopped at the nurse's station. She plopped her elbows on the counter and rested her chin into her palms, a position she usually used at the end of an exhaustive day.

"One of those days, huh?" Amy questioned.

"Is it ever NOT one of those days?"

They shared a light chuckle. "Thank your lucky stars there's no more Dr. Nelson."

Abbey shook her head at the mere thought. "I can't tell you how happy I am to be rid of him! Problem is, I hear he may be in charge of my January rotation."

"That's not good."

"Tell me about it. If I have to put up with his condescending, insulting, and degrading personality for another eight weeks, I'm going to seriously need one of the beds in the psych ward." Her words had an undercurrent of sarcasm, her face donned a smile. 

"Uh uh. Don't let him get under your skin."

"I can't help it. Whenever I see his face in the halls, it's like I'm entering the gates of Hell."

"You need to get him out of your system. Talk to someone."

"Oh no, not you too. My husband's been on my case about it." She leaned in towards Amy, whispering the next few words. "He doesn't know."

"You haven't told him? Why not?"

"Because I don't want him to interfere. It's my problem. I have to deal with it myself, without Jed."

She turned to her side and saw him. There was Jed standing in front of her with flowers in his hand and a look of bewilderment on his face. She didn't know how long he'd been there or how much he'd heard. Frozen solid, his mind struggling to embrace the possibilities that ran through it, he simply glared at her. 

"I came to take you out to dinner," he finally offered, taking a step closer to her. "So what is it you don't want me interfering with? What is this big problem that's yours alone?"

He didn't make a move when she lowered her head and walked past him, their elbows colliding on the way. She walked out of his line of sight and headed through the exit door.

\- - -

Abbey arrived home only minutes before Jed. She threw off her shoes and kicked them across the room, her lab coat following the same path. 

He swung the door open and took a few quick strides towards her. "Hi." She ignored him. "I bought you these." 

“Thank you.” She took the bouquet of roses.

“That’s it?”

“What?”

“No apology for leaving me there at the hospital? I show up with flowers and you just leave?”

“I was shocked and a little embarrassed that you overheard me.”

“Why?”

“And to tell you the truth, the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off that you were there, listening.”

"I wasn’t listening, Abbey. I showed up to see you. I thought I was doing a good thing.”

"Don’t lie to me! I'm not an idiot, Jed. You didn't show up at the hospital to take me to dinner. You showed up so you could snoop around."

He conceded with a nod. "All right, fine. I did show up to spy on you a little bit. What do you expect? I know something's going on, Millie knows about it, that nurse knows about it. The only person who doesn't know about it is me." 

“Have you ever considered there might be a reason for that?”

Feeling his anxiety rising inside him, he took a breath to calm himself down. "There was a time when you used to tell me everything."

"There was a time when you didn't push."

"I've been pushing? Really? Because I think I've been a real treat about this whole thing. I've been pretty understanding, considering most husbands would probably assume by now that you're having an affair." 

“Oh please.”

"You're not, are you?" It was asked with a hint of a smile, to lighten the mood, without any real suspicion to back it up. His body lurched back in shock when Abbey's eyes turned on him with an intensity he rarely saw. "Okay, so you’re not having an affair.”

She whacked him in the chest with the bouquet. "You Jackass!"

"I was kidding!" He shielded himself with his arms as she aimed for his shoulder and back. 

"You think I'm having an affair?" Without giving him time to reply, she took a few extra swings for good measure.

"No, I swear I don't. Ow!"

She stopped her assault at the claim of his alleged pain. "They're just flowers!"

"Yeah, well they have thorns!" he shot back. She put the flowers on the counter and turned away from him. "Abbey, I really was joking. I just...want to help. That's all. Let me help. Please."

The sincerity dripped from his voice, his expression holding a look of concern and vulnerability at the same time. She was touched. 

"There's this doctor," she started in a soft voice. He approached her slowly, straining to hear her. "He's just been giving me a hard time."

"What's his name?" His macho attitude was resurfacing.

"It's not important."

"Like hell it's not!"

Jed Bartlet was a protective man and it was a quality Abbey cherished, when it didn't get in the way. "Jed, I don't even see him anymore. It's just that during my last rotation, he rattled me a little, you know? Well, I guess it was more than a little."

"What did he do?"

"Have I ever talked to you about pimping?" His eyes narrowed suspiciously at the word. "Get your mind out of the gutter. It's like hazing, except it happens in med school. Residents do it to students and interns. This doctor, Dr. Nelson, was the resident I was assigned to and he enjoyed messing with me."

"He didn't..."

"No, nothing like that. It was all professional. All he did was quiz me on things he knew I didn’t know. He did it to humiliate me in front of the other students, the other doctors, the attending physicians...and even the patients."

He sighed with relief before fully comprehending the rest of her statement. "How can something like that be professional? I'll go down there myself and throw the bastard out on his ass!" 

He spun around with force.

"No!" The tight grip on his arm stopped him in his tracks. "That's exactly what I don't want!"

Satisfied that he'd listen, she let go and stepped away from him, causing him to approach her in a gentler, less domineering way. "Don’t shut down on me. I want to know what happened."

"Pimping isn't out of the ordinary. It's done all the time, in every hospital in America. It's a rite of passage for aspiring doctors. This guy is a jerk is all. He got special joy out of harping on me, partly because I'm a woman."

His head tilted in a subconscious move to sympathize with her predicament and the sadness that still lingered in her eyes. "Honey, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't need you to run out there and save the day. I didn't want you to be my hero. I wanted you to be my husband. I wanted to get through it by myself."

"Being married means you never have to do anything by yourself. I'm here to help you, always."

"I don't think you can help me. It's too late." Now came the admission she dreaded having to make. "I'm scared."

"Of what?" He reached out his hand to brush a few strands of intruding hair behind her shoulder.

"I didn’t tell you this, but I just barely passed my general med shelf exam. I have the national boards coming up in January and I don’t think I can...”

“Of course you can.”

“No, Jed. You don’t understand. It’s step one of the licensing exam. This is my ticket to residency. This test will eliminate my options of specialty...or even worse...it could end my chances of residency altogether.”

“Okay, stop. You’re getting ahead of yourself.”

“No, I’m not. It’s all based on my first two years of med school and, Jed, I barely remember the material. I've been so obsessed with my rotations that I didn’t keep up with the class work. I think I'm in trouble. I'm not sure I can pass.”

"Don’t you dare say that. You can do anything you set your mind to, Abbey. It was that instinct to persevere, the determination to succeed that made me fall in love with you."

She shrugged at his hand which was delicately draped around her. "I used to be that way. But now...something's changed."

"You changed. You let him change you. You let him undercut your self confidence." Silence filled the room at her agreement. "And we're going to do something about it."

"Jed, please don't go to the hospital."

He reassured her with a touch of his finger to her lips. "I won't. Trust me. What I am going to do is help you ace this exam. You had a study plan for it last year. What happened?"

"I got an extension and decided to wait to take it in January, but somehow, I let other things get in the way."

"We'll have fix that. We'll have study sessions, right here. You'll study. Lizzie and I will quiz you. She'll love it and in the end, you'll show this Dr. Nelson just what you're made of."

"I'm not as sure as you."

"Abbey, we didn't sacrifice all the time we spent away from one another while you pulled all-nighters at the library and at study groups...all those days and nights taking care of Lizzie by myself, sleeping in an empty bed because you were working an ungodly shift at the hospital...we didn’t go through all that just to have you give up now. This is your dream and we're going to make it come true and in the process, we're going to grace the world with one of the most brilliant medical minds they've ever seen."

His confidence overshadowed her apprehension, and for the first time in months, she felt the hot flame of an eager and motivated student rekindle inside. 

She leaned in for a soft kiss. “Thank you.”

That evening, without the burden of outside distractions, Abbey lounged on the sofa, a medical textbook glued to her eyes and a small throw blanket covering her feet. She peered over the top of the page to glance at Jed sitting across the room on the loveseat, deeply engrossed in rereading Theory and Policy of International Economics. In the center of the room sat Lizzie, leaning over the glass coffee table and sounding out the words in another Dr. Seuss classic - Green Eggs and Ham. 

With a contagious smile and girlish giggle that tore Jed's attention away from his book, Abbey winked at him before returning to her page. 

 

TBC

.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Jed closed the blinds to keep the intruding sunlight at bay. He smiled proudly at the vision of Abbey still curled up under the throw blanket on the sofa, her textbook resting gently over her chest. Her determination to master the USMLE guidebook had kept her up all night and because he opted for the nonexistent comfort of the loveseat over sleeping alone in their bed, he knew just how long she struggled to catch a few hours of slumber.

Elizabeth was up and ready to start the day. Unfortunately for Jed, that usually meant she needed Abbey's help. But today was different. Today, Jed was going to be an exceptional surrogate for his wife and, in turn, bond with his daughter over something he hadn't done before -- her hair.

He pulled out a chair and helped Liz climb up. She sat with her back to him, flinching her eyes in anticipation. He rubbed his hands on the side of his pants and took a calming breath, reassuring himself that this was going to be easy. After all, he had seen Abbey do it countless times. How difficult could it possibly be to learn?

He positioned his fingers under the chestnut brown locks and began to pull it away from her face, towards the back of her head. His lips curved down and his confidence faltered as he struggled to hold on to the thick, straight tresses, the longer pieces falling into place, but the shorter ones retracting towards the front. 

After several tries, he twisted her red ribbon under the soft and shiny top layer of hair, then pulled the ends up over top to tie in a bow. She turned on him, gasping at the aimless strands that now covered her eyes. 

"That's not how Mom does it," Lizzie assured him. 

"Yeah." His eyes lit up with an idea. "Wait right here."

With furrowed brows expressing her apprehension, Liz watched as he placed a floppy rain hat on top of the disastrous style. The curves drooped down over her brows and obstructed her right eye altogether. 

"Daddy!" she whined.

"What? It looks great."

She shook her head in disapproval. "Uh uh."

It was time to concede and with one big release of breath, he did. "Fine. Wake up your mother."

Liz jumped on her toes and quietly approached Abbey's sleeping form. She kneeled beside her at eye level and opened her mouth wide. "Mommy!"

Abbey's body jerked at the sound. Her face turned towards her daughter with a terrified fury.

"Lizzie, that isn't how you wake someone up!" Jed scolded her. "I'm sorry, Babe."

"It's okay." Abbey eyed Liz's disheveled, hat-covered head. "What's this about?"

Liz pulled off the hat to reveal what was underneath. "Daddy tried to do my hair."

"No, no, no, no, no. Angel, you never let Daddy do your hair. He's a genius at most things, but hair is his weakness. Go get the brush."

Jed flashed a surprised smirk at both his girls. "I was just trying to do you a favor and let you get some sleep, Sweet Knees."

Liz returned with the hairbrush and sat on the floor in front of her mother. While shaking her head in disbelief, Abbey tore out the ribbon that was mangled under the knotted mess of hair.

"Mommy, can I wear my white dress to Mandy's party?"

"I'm afraid not. That's a summer dress. It's way too cold for it now."

"Mandy's party?" Jed asked inquisitively.

"We talked about this, Jed. In honor of her birthday, Mandy's mom is having a few of the girls over to spend the night on New Year's Eve. It's Lizzie's first slumber party!"

"And I wanna wear the white dress."

Having finished working on her hair, Abbey turned her around. "I'm sorry, Sweetie, but how about we go shopping next week for another dress?"

"No, I wanna wear the white one."

"Lizzie, I said no." 

Her firm stand wasn't going to change no matter how much Liz begged, so with a frown plastered across her face and very few words spoken between them, Liz took her father's hand and tottled off to the bus stop. 

\- - -

As school buses lined the front circle of the elementary school, Liz and her classmate Mandy joyfully walked towards the building. The car that was parked on the curb didn't get their attention until the man standing in front of it called her name.

"Elizabeth?"

"Hi!" she exclaimed, excited to see the familiar face she hadn't seen since Thanksgiving.

"You want to spend the day with your Grandfather?" John asked.

"But I have to go to school."

Armed with a back-up, he handed her a shopping bag and waited for her to look inside before replying. "We can play Candyland." 

He was sure that would do it and he was right. S

She had polished the sleek, mischievous look that came from doing something she knew she wasn’t supposed to do. "Okay!"

John opened the passenger's door for her then walked around to the driver's seat. With a single shrug in Mandy's direction, Liz left the crowd of other kids walking towards class and hopped in the car. 

He didn't have evil intentions in mind, but despite Jed's strong objections, John was determined to simply get to know the spirited young girl - his granddaughter, a granddaughter his wife never got to meet. 

Once the two arrived at his Boston townhouse, John did just as he promised and unwrapped the plastic from a newly bought game of Candyland. He allowed Liz to set up the board and sat back to bask at the fascination that radiated from her eyes, the very eyes that resembled her father's. 

Through Lizzie's eyes, John remembered the same look of carefree glee reflected on Jed's face when he was a little boy. Those warm memories had been tarnished over the years by accusations of abuse and neglect, accusations that John never completely understood. He and Jed may not have been close, but he fully maintained that his job was to keep his children in line, something that was sometimes done with a firm discussion with Jack, but usually had to be driven into Jed with a simple spanking - at least, that's what he called it in the midst of denial.

Sure, he lost his temper and things elevated at times, he reasoned. But he would never admit his failures as a father; he would never succumb to the slight glimmer of regret he sometimes felt. But when he was with Liz, everything was different. Her charming attitude and larger-than-life personality gave him a chance to see just what he missed in his children's lives. 

"Grandfather, it's your turn," she gently pointed out.

He loved when she called him grandfather. Grandpa was reserved for Abbey's father. It was Liz's own way of distinguishing between the two men she admired and adored. 

"I'm sorry,” he said.

Her infectious giggle only made his heart swell with love. He never thought he could relate to a little girl. It was no secret that both times Diane was pregnant, he prayed for boys. He never had interest in raising a daughter, nor a granddaughter for that matter. But there was something about Elizabeth, some spark of life that made her irresistible and that same spark made him abandon the emotional safeguards that kept him immune to the lovable qualities of his own children. 

"Lizzie, come here a second." Having taken notice of Liz's attachment to kitchen counters, he hoisted her up and sat her down while he scooped up two bowls of ice cream. "Have your parents told you any more about having another baby?"

"Uh uh. They said I won't be a big sister for a while."

"Do you know why?"

"Nope."

"I'm sure in no time at all, you're going to have a little brother or little sister to play with."

"Sister!" Liz declared.

"You want a little sister? Why? 

“Girls are better.”

“If you have a little brother, though, you won't have to share anything." 

She turned her eyes away while contemplating the idea of sharing. All her life, she had been the apple of her parent's eyes. Sharing them, or anything other than school supplies she sometimes shared with her classmates, was a foreign concept to her. 

"What would I have to share?"

"Well everything. I mean, with a sister, your mom is going to want to give all your old clothes to her.”

“She will?”

“Yeah.”

“What if I want my old clothes?”

“Well, that’s where the sharing comes in. And it’s not just clothes. Your old toys will be her new toys, she'll sleep in the same room as you, and she'll take up a lot of your parents' time. You'll find yourself competing just to get their attention. You don't want that, do you?" 

"But Daddy had a little brother and he was a boy."

"Yes and that’s why your father hated his brother." John handed her a spoon to dunk into her ice cream.

"Uncle Jack? Why?"

"He was jealous. He thought your grandmother and I loved Jack more than we loved him."

"Why?"

"Because they were both boys. Your Daddy was always upset about something though. He certainly wasn't the model child. Thank God we decided to have another baby. Your Uncle Jack was a lot easier to please.”

In a five-year-old's mind, those words could be interpreted many different ways. Unfortunately, in Elizabeth Bartlet's mind, they took on the worst possible meaning. Were her parents having another baby because she, like her father, wasn't the perfect child, she began to wonder. She dropped her spoon by the side of the bowl, her appetite for dessert fading. 

"You know he's named after me," John continued. "We just call him Jack because having two Johns would be confusing."

"How come Daddy isn't named after you?"

"Even as a baby, your father never really liked me. I'm sure he'll tell you that he's grateful he didn't have to live with the legacy of my first name as well as my last. Not that you should ask him. He'd be pretty upset if he knew you were here." 

"He would?"

"Yeah. So let’s just keep this our secret."

“I can’t tell him we played Candyland?”

“No. He wouldn’t like it very much.”

Lizzie nodded. "What's a legacy?"

"I'll tell you when you're older." His elbows rested on the counter as he took another bite of ice cream while staring at her over the rim of his glasses. "Go ahead and finish up. We have to get you back soon."

After a quick stop for french fries at a local diner, John drove her to school. She sat in his car and stared out the window, her cheery disposition slowly returning. 

"Did you have fun today?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Good. I did too." 

He leaned in for a tender hug and sent her to her waiting bus. Liz rode home with her friends just as she had that morning on the way to school. 

\- - -

When the bus curved the bend and stopped to let the children out, Lizzie jumped down the steps and ran into Jed's arms with enough excitement and passion to provoke a bit of suspicion.

"What are you so happy about?"

"I don't know," she said with a shrug.

Jed took her hand and led her towards their apartment. "What did you do in school today?" She froze for a moment, thinking of a response. "Lizzie, what's wrong?"

"We got to finger-paint!" she finally blurted out, remembering her grandfather's warning.

"Finger-paint? That sounds like fun! You can tell me all about it before Grandma comes over to sit with you."

"Okay!"

 

TBC


	12. Chapter Twelve

Elizabeth turned the doorknob and walked inside the apartment carrying a small bouquet of flowers in her arms. Her parents followed closely behind with a look of pride radiating from their speechless bodies. 

"That was fun!" Liz excitedly declared, still dressed in a traditional ‘Mary’ costume from the school Christmas pageant.

"You were the best Mary I've ever seen on stage." Jed's words were sincere. The entire time Liz took center stage, she captivated the audience, not to mention her father's heart, with her sweet, angelic portrayal. His obvious bias notwithstanding, he had never witnessed a more memorable production.

"I wanna do it again!" She was an animated child, like her father, often using large hand gestures to solidify her point, especially when she was happy.

Abbey laughed at those endearing qualities she often saw in Jed. "You'll get to audition for the next play."

"I wanna do it over and over again."

"You want to be an actress when you grow up?"

With an answer already prepared, she replied immediately. "No, Mommy, I wanna be a star!"

Jed picked her up to give her a big kiss. "Lizzie, you can be whatever you want to be, as long as you want it enough to go out and do it. But for now, my little Starlette, why don't you go change into your jammies?" He set her down and patted her back, sending her to her room. 

"Jed, did you keep Lizzie out of school last Tuesday?" It was a blunt question that surprised Jed.

"No, why?"

"Her teacher mentioned something to me about her being absent."

"Must have been a mistake. I’ll call her about it tomorrow.”

“Don’t forget, okay?”

“I won’t, but relax. It was an error. Last Tuesday they got to finger-paint. Lizzie told me herself."

Still uneasy about the confusion, Abbey questioned Liz when she returned from her bedroom. The fear of being punished had always driven the five year old to fib when it was convenient, but at her tender age, lies weren't remembered easily.

"What did you do in school last Tuesday?" Abbey asked.

Watching Liz struggle to search her memory, Jed jumped in. "Abbey, come on. She doesn't remember. That was the day you got to finger-paint, right, Lizzie?"

"Uh huh." Jarring her memory, the lie still slipped from her lips effortlessly. "And we also got to color." 

Abbey lightly smacked Jed's arm for his interference, but accepted her daughter's answer without further inquiry. She reclined on the sofa and visually scrutinized Jed as he pulled a large cheesecake from the refrigerator. 

"You know how unhealthy that is?" she sniped.

"Give me a break. We haven't had cheesecake in weeks."

Abbey tapped her feet on the edge of the floor, waiting for him. Her childlike, yet attractive anticipation was an endearing quality he always found hard to resist. So he progressed slowly, eventually leaving the kitchen carrying three plates of the chocolate dish which he placed on the coffee table. 

Elizabeth climbed up on the cushion of the loveseat and waited for Jed to hand her a slice. It was a rare treat to eat on the furniture, but on this night, tensions were high causing the three of them to abandon protocol in a blatant disregard for the rules. 

As Abbey reached for her plate, she was taken aback when Jed moved it just out of her grasp. "What?"

"I'm willing to overlook your complaint and let you have a piece." 

She ignored the presumed conditions attached to his statement. "Good."

With another gesture to reach for the plate, he pulled it further away. "After we quiz you."

"Jed."

"Those are the rules, Abbey. You pass our quiz, you get cheesecake."

"And if I don't?" She asked with a twinge of defiance. 

"Then you'll have to sit there and watch as Lizzie and I enjoy our dessert."

An unfair proposition, maybe, but one that was sure to get her juices flowing, her mind working, and all the pent-up knowledge inside of her brewing. He took the seat next to Liz cradling the USMLE textbook in the crook of his arm, shuffling the pages to make her just nervous enough to arouse her motivation, as well as a flash of impatience.

"Well? Are you going to start?" It worked. 

"Don't rush me." He skimmed a few pages before finally settling for an acceptable question. "Okay, Abigail, a 32-year-old construction worker arrives in the emergency department after an accident on the job. The tendon of the biceps brachii at the elbow has been severed by a laceration that extends 2 cm medially from the tendon. Which structure is likely to have been injured by medial extension of the laceration?"

Jed leaned in towards Liz and pointed to the page to let her in on the answer. Liz looked up at her mother and covered her lips as a small laugh escaped her tiny body.

Without missing a beat, Abbey answered. "Brachial artery."

"What do you think?" Jed asked Liz.

"Yeah, she got it right!" she exclaimed with the sound of applause echoing form her clapping hands.

"Okay, you get one bite of your cake." Jed watched closely as Abbey slanted herself off the sofa and made an exaggerated show of taking only one bite. "Don't get snotty about it," he teased. "Here's another one. In a normal individual, a tube with a transducer at its tip is swallowed and passed an unknown distance down the esophagus. Between swallows it records a pressure of 25 mm Hg. A small amount of water is swallowed. Within 2 seconds, the pressure falls to 5 mm Hg, where it remains until returning to its resting pressure 6 seconds later. In a patient with achalasia, the transducer is advanced to the same location. Between swallows, it records a pressure of 30 mm Hg. After swallowing, the pressure fails to decrease. In which site is the transducer most likely located?"

She closed her eyes tightly, digging deep in her brain. "Esophageal body proximal to the diaphragm?" It was more of a question than an answer.

"Nope, I'm sorry."

"No you're not," she shot back with a slit-eyed glare.

"It's the lower esophageal sphincter." Jed pulled the book to his chest and leaned in to whisper in Lizzie's ear.

Abbey's stare followed her daughter's guilty smile as she crossed the room and bent over the coffee table to take a bite of her mother's cheesecake. 

"What's going on?"

Jed couldn't help but snicker at her confusion. "Yeah, that's the penalty for getting an answer wrong. Lizzie gets a bite."

"She has her own."

"Yes she does and she'll eat that too." It was time to rib her a little more, all in a fun and loving way, of course. "You know, all that sugar will keep her up tonight, which means, it’ll keep you up too.”

“Why is that?”

“You and she are both off tomorrow. I, on the other hand, have to go to work, so, tonight, I get to sleep and she gets to keep you up.”

“That’s not exactly fair.”

“I guess you'll just have to get the rest of the answers right then."

Abbey plopped back against the armrest with an exasperated sigh while Jed continued thumbing through the pages, enjoying every moment of the dubious curiosity visible in her body language. With her knees curled up towards her chest and a blanket thrown carelessly over her naked feet, she used her hand as a pillow and laid her head gently on top. 

His glances became more rampant as the questions became more difficult, something she noticed immediately and did her best to encourage. Her fingers wrapped themselves around a few strands of hair and she pretended to twist them absent-mindedly. She always found the most inopportune times to distract him and boy did he love her distractions!

The thought of a young child sitting only inches away would have been completely lost in their subconscious had Jed not looked at his watch. "It's 9:00. You know what that means, Lizzie?"

"I wanna stay up!"

"Sorry. Mommy’s doing better than I thought she would, so that means you have to go to sleep.” 

“But...”

“If you go now, I’ll read you a story.”

"My tummy's full."

"Really? Or are you just pretending?"

"No, it's really full." Her arms wrapped around her waist and the sad expression on her face caused Jed to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"I'm not surprised with all the cake Daddy let you eat.”

“Please. She had two bites of yours.”

“Yeah. I wish you were wrong more, Mommy.” 

“If I was, you’d be feeling a lot worse, Baby Doll. You want some medicine?”

"Uh uh."

Jed rubbed her head gently. "You want to sleep out here for a while?"

She nodded and made herself comfortable, stretching out her small frame on the cushions and resting her head on Jed's lap. Most kids might want their mother's comfort when they don't feel well, but Liz had always gravitated towards her father's. It was that unbreakable bond that formed the second she was born that convinced her she was always safe in Daddy's arms. 

For his part, Jed did everything he could to reinforce the belief she held so close to her heart. It gave him joy to feel he was her protector, her safety net, someone she could always turn to and trust with her deepest feelings and strongest emotions. He hoped it was a lesson that she would remember for the rest of her life. 

Abbey draped a blanket over her and bent down to kiss her face while Jed played with her soft strands of hair in an effort to lull her to sleep. Watching her husband take such gentle care with their daughter gave her goose bumps. She had grown up extremely close to her own father and reveled in the fact that Liz would do the same. It was obvious early-on that Jed would be a wonderful father, but she sometimes reluctantly admitted that before Liz was born, she wondered if he'd ever allow himself the opportunity. 

All her doubts faded away the day she placed Elizabeth in his arms for the very first time. The combination of apprehension and delight at holding someone so small, so dependent, so fragile convinced her that with a little encouragement, Jed was capable of opening his soul to one more person. And though she sometimes criticized his parenting skills, in the same breath, she'd silently thank God for blessing her daughter with such an amazing father.

Later that evening, Jed carried his sleeping daughter to her bed, then joined Abbey in their room. He picked up her textbook on the way and stacked a few pillows under his head to read.

"Jed, it's late."

"Let's just get through a few more pages."

She turned down the covers and slipped underneath, finding his warm embrace more relaxing than the cold sheets. With her head curled up on his chest, he held the book in front of her so they could read together before they drifted off to sleep.

 

TBC


	13. Chapter Thirteen

The only sound resonating through the Bartlet apartment was that of Jed and Abbey's light conversation as they prepared dinner together. Cautiously, around a corner leading into her room, Elizabeth's eyes bore into them ominously while the rest of her body was hidden behind the wall. Satisfied with the scene, she turned towards her doorway and with a finger over her lips to keep Mandy quiet, she directed her friend into parents' bedroom. 

"Are you allowed to play in here, Lizzie?"

"Not by myself. But we're not gonna play. I wanna find the dress."

The white summer dress that Liz had developed an attachment for the minute her father bought it for her was still her choice for Mandy's party. Abbey had packed up the outfit, along with other summer clothes, and stored them in her closet to make room for more seasonable dresses in Liz's. 

The two girls tore through the drawers and boxes Abbey had stored in the room., throwing out garments and whatever other random knickknacks clogged their path. They were momentarily distracted by several shopping bags filled with unwrapped Christmas presents, but once the initial surprise wore off, the search for the dress took precedence once again.

Out of an old, green suitcase pushed to the very back corner of the large walk-in closet, Liz finally found it. "Isn't it pretty?"

"Yeah," Mandy replied, a little less enamored than Liz. "Lets play with your new toys!"

Liz draped the dress over the bed and the duo rummaged through the shopping bags they had spotted earlier. 

"Girls!" Abbey called out as they heard her footsteps approaching.

With toys spread out around them, Liz scurried to grab her dress before her mother walked in. "Hide!" she yelled to Mandy as she crawled under the bed.

Mandy stood motionless surrounded by the mess they had created when Abbey swung open the door.

"Hi," she greeted her in the sweetest five-year-old voice she could muster up.

Abbey scanned the room quickly, counting to one-hundred in her head to avoid an angry outburst. 

"Hi,” Abbey replied. “So where's your partner-in-crime?" 

Mandy shrugged. “I did it myself?”

“I don’t think so.” Abbey looked under the bed and pulled Liz out by her arm. 

“OW!” Lizzie screamed.

“That didn’t hurt and you know it.”

“It did so!”

"You know, I should send all these toys back to the store.”

“Santa’ll bring me toys.”

“You'll have to count on him to bring you all your gifts this year,” Abbey angrily warned. “I hope there are other things you want because you won’t get any of these." 

“I won’t?”

“I’m taking them back.”

Liz's eyes shined with tears at the threat. "Noooo!" 

Abbey looked closely and turned her around to see what she was hiding behind her back. "What do you have in your hand?" 

"Stop!" Liz shouted and ran from her mother’s grasp, her fingers holding on tightly to the white dress.

"What's going on?" Jed asked after he overheard the commotion. "Lizzie?"

"Looks like the girls were having some fun in here," Abbey answered. "Anyway, I came to tell Mandy that her mother called and wants her home. Jed, can you walk her?"

"Sure. Come on, Mandy. Let’s get your jacket."

Liz began to follow Mandy out of the room until Abbey grabbed her shoulders to stop her. "Oh no. You're staying here with me."

“I don’t wanna stay with you!”

“Tough.”

Liz shrugged Abbey’s hands away and walked defiantly to the other side of the room. "It's my dress!"

She was obviously very upset though Abbey wasn't sure what sparked such sudden aggression and possessiveness. "Come here a second." 

“Why?”

She saw the hesitation on the young girl's face as Liz stared at the floor. "Don't worry, I'm not going to take your dress away. I just want to talk to you."

Liz slowly approached her waiting arms. Abbey lifted her up and sat her on the bed then sat down beside her. 

“What?” Lizzie asked her.

"You know you're not allowed to play in here with your friends. You know you're not supposed to go through my things. You know all that right?" Liz nodded, but refused to meet her stare. "Then why did you do it?" 

With a shrug of the shoulder, she answered, "I don't know."

"I want a better answer than that. Your behavior has been inexcusable lately. You know the rules and you break them all the time."

“No I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. You lie to me, you try to play your dad and me against one another. Lizzie, it’s getting to the point that I can’t believe anything you say anymore.”

"Is that why you want another baby?" Liz asked softly, clearly afraid of Abbey’s response.

The question threw Abbey for a loop. "What? Where did that come from?" 

“I dunno.” The rebellion that seeped out of five year old transformed instantaneously to insecurity. 

Abbey tucked a strand of stray hair behind Liz's ear, urging the young girl to face her. "Lizzie, look at me, Sweetie." 

Liz turned her eyes to her mother, a few tears now glossing them and trickling down her wet lashes. “What?”

"Why did you just ask me that question?”

“Because you said you don’t believe me. I lie and I break your rules.”

Abbey’s heart broke at the anguish in her daughter’s voice. She didn’t realize her words had cut Lizzie so deep. “You have lied to me and you do break the rules, but what I left out was how much I love you. You misbehave sometimes and I get angry. No matter what, though, I think I'm luckiest mother in the whole wide world for having the opportunity to raise the most precious little girl God ever created. The only reason I want another baby is because I love you so much that I want another you."

"You do?"

"You bet I do. Don't you still want a little brother or sister?"

"Yeah. But I don't want her to have my dress. It's mine!" The serenity she felt just moments earlier was replaced by renewed vulnerability. 

"Of course it is. I would never take something away from you to give it to someone else."

"That's not what Grandfather said..." she cut herself off immediately and covered her open mouth with the tips of her fingers.

"What?" Sensing Liz shutting down, Abbey shifted her body to face her directly. "Lizzie, when did you talk to your grandfather about this?" It wasn't enough to garner a reply. "Do you mean Grandpa?" Still no response from a strong-willed Liz. "Elizabeth, you won't get in trouble. I promise. But I need you to talk to me. Is it your Grandpa who told you that?"

She shook her head reluctantly. "No."

Abbey sighed. It was Jed’s father. "When did you see your grandfather? At Thanksgiving?"

"After. He picked me up from school and took me to his house."

"The day your teacher said you were absent?"

"Yeah."

Abbey tried to hide the sound of fury and alarm that naturally manipulated itself into her voice. "What did he tell you?"

"He said if I had a little sister, I'd have to share her with you and Daddy and that you would take my clothes and toys and give them to her."

She ran her hands over the back of Liz's head lovingly. "No, Angel, that isn't true. I would never, ever take your things from you. If we have another little girl, I may ask you if I can give her some of your old toys and clothes that you don't play with anymore or that you've outgrown - like all those dresses you used to wear last year that don't fit anymore. Remember those?"

"She'd look pretty in them."

"Yes, she would. And they may fit her someday. But I wouldn't take anything of yours without your permission. Ever. You believe me?" A wave of relief washed over her when Liz nodded.

"Yeah."

“Did your grandfather say anything else?”

“No.”

“What did you guys do?”

“We played Candyland and had ice cream.”

“That’s all?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not lying to me?”

“No, Mommy. I promise.”

“Okay. Now as for this dress..." Liz had loosened her grip, allowing Abbey to gently take it from her and hold it up. "...you can't wear it to the party, but what if we go hang it up in your room, just so it's there. Does that sound like a good idea?"

"Yeah!" Lizzie’s enthusiasm had returned.

"Okay. But first...Lizzie, has your grandfather picked you up from school any other time?"

"No."

Abbey cupped her chin to lift her head. "You know you're not allowed to see him. Your Dad and I have told you that."

"I know."

"And we've also talked to you about getting into other people's cars and going places without telling us where you are." 

“But he wasn’t a stranger.”

“I don’t care. From now on, you don’t go anywhere without checking with me or your father.” She let out a deep breath of frustration and continued. "But I did tell you you wouldn't get in trouble and I meant it." Abbey tweaked her nose as she finally saw a smile emerge on her face. "Just don't do it again, okay?"

"Okay." 

She prepared to stand, but drew herself back at the look of hesitation on Liz's face. "What is it?"

"Are you gonna send all my toys back?"

Her eyes browsed the room once more. Despite the mess, punishing Liz after the heartfelt words they just shared wasn't an option. "No. But you can't play with them until Christmas...and you're going to help me clean up this room."

Liz jumped into her arms, wrapping her hands tightly around her neck as they both fell backwards onto the mattress. Abbey kissed her cheek before rising back up, and with that kiss came another awkward glare. 

"Mommy?" 

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell Daddy about Grandfather." It was almost a whisper, said with obvious trepidation.

"Do you think it's fair to keep secrets from your father?" Surely Liz wouldn't want to purposely keep Jed in the dark, she figured, especially since he's never been very strict with her.

"No."

"Then why are you asking me to?"

"Because Grandfather will be mad at me." The sound of defeat and sadness in her voice melted Abbey's heart as she contemplated how to handle the situation. 

“Oh, Lizzie. No he won’t.”

“Yes, he will! He will. I know he will. Please don’t tell Daddy. I’ll never do it again. Please.”

\- - -

John Bartlet had always been a complex man, living in self-induced denial about all the things in the world that never quite met his expectations. As a young boy, his older brothers never missed a chance to gloat about their superior intellect and criticize his inferior accomplishments. It was just one of the idiosyncrasies of the family dynamic he was forced to accept. 

He attempted to excel at academics, but always remained a step behind his siblings. He married a decent woman, one who never challenged the core drive and motivation that propelled him to success, albeit somewhat lackluster when compared to the rest of his family. 

When John and Diane were blessed with their first son, Josiah, he finally felt he had reached the pinacle of personal prosperity-- a son to carry on the family name, a son to look up to him and love him unconditionally. But something snapped in John's psyche when his young heir was pegged a genius. Immediately, the silent torment he felt in the shadows of his three brothers came raging back inside him and with it, came the feelings of unworthiness that dominated his childhood and would now contour his relationship with Jed. 

Suddenly, the strive for excellence and the competitive qualities Jed showed as a boy were condemned - both verbally and physically - by a resentful John. That's where it all went wrong. That's where, in the midst of horrific nightmares and sleeplessness, he'd often find his mind wandering. He couldn't explain his actions of the past any more than he could clarify the triggers of the present that ignited the fire within him every time he tried to reconcile with his adult son. It was that lack of explanation and failure to comprehend the inner demons battling his soul that directly contributed to his lack of remorse. 

Abbey tried continuously to pardon John's prior actions, but every time she looked into her husband's eyes and reflected on the fear those eyes once held because of his father's intimidation, any notion of forgiveness was cast aside. And now, John had crossed a very dangerous line. He had threatened the sanctity of her family -- he had lured her young daughter into a web of deceit, filling her mind with lies that only sparked self-doubt and encouraging her to betray her parents' trust in favor of protecting him.

She was angry and he was about to find that out.

"Abigail?" He stepped back, allowing her to enter his house. "This is a surprise."

"This won't take long. I just came to tell you to stay away from my daughter." Her voice cracked slightly as she struggled to control her temper. 

"She told you."

"Yes, no thanks to you. You had no right to see her. You had no right to take her out of school!"

"I didn't force her. She came with me voluntarily. She wants to see me. She wants to spend time with me."

"She's five. She'd be happy spending time with a hole in the wall if it paid her any attention. You tried to manipulate her, telling her that if she has a little sister, she won't get to keep her clothes or her toys, that I would rip them out of her hands and give them to our other child."

"That isn't exactly what I said."

"She tells a different story. Jed told you he wasn't comfortable with you seeing her."

"Jed was wrong to keep her from me. I care about her. All I want to do is get to know her."

"As long as Jed isn't comfortable with it, neither am I, which means you're out of luck."

He grabbed her arm as she tried to turn away. "Please talk to Jed. You're the only one he'll listen to."

"Forget it!" She shrugged furiously out of his hold. "If you want to see her, you're going to have to appeal to your son yourself, and after he finds out what you did, I doubt you'll get anywhere." The visible despair visible on his face didn't alleviate her anger. "The next time you pull a stunt like that with Lizzie, it won't be just Jed you'll have to fear. It'll be the cops as well. Just fair warning." 

\- - -

By the time Abbey arrived back home that night, Liz had already been tucked into bed. Jed had fallen asleep with his head resting on top of the papers he had been grading at the kitchen table. She put an arm around his shoulder and bent forward to kiss the back of his neck. 

He stirred slightly then lifted his head. "Hi."

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"That's okay. Where did you go?"

"Just had an errand to run." Her answer fell just short of complete honesty. "Let's go to bed."

She helped him to his feet and held tightly to his hand as they walked into their bedroom.

"What time do you have to get up in the morning?"

"Early. I'd like to drive Lizzie to school." It was the only way she could make certain John didn't get to her. She also had visions of talking to Liz's teacher and administrators about notifying her the next time the young girl missed class. "Can you pick her up during your lunch hour?"

"From school? Why don't you want her on the bus?"

"It's the last day before Christmas vacation. I'd just prefer we take her."

Without further question, he gave her a quick kiss and agreed to her request. "Night."

"Good night."

Abbey rolled onto her side, her back facing Jed as her mind raced with the angry images she knew she'd see once she finally told him the disturbing news about his father.

 

TBC


	14. Chapter Fourteen

With Jed and Lizzie snuggled tightly in bed as visions of sugar plums danced in their heads - or so she thought - Abbey snuck into the living room, making as little noise as possible. Her only guide, a small flashlight she kept in the drawer of her nightstand in case of a power outage, flickered unpredictably. 

The festive Christmas Tree and all the colorful ornaments that dangled off its five-foot frame drew her attention briefly as she reminisced about the joyous Christmases of the past, the ones where she and her sister Kate would sneak downstairs in the middle of the night and carefully unwrap their gifts to get a peek, the ones, years later, when she and Kate would join their mother to gather around the tree and sing Christmas carols before going to church on Christmas Eve, her father accompanying them on the walnut-colored upright piano, the one where she lost her virginity to Jed under the tree at her parent's house, and the ones after Elizabeth was born where the thrill of the holiday shifted from the joy of receiving to the joy of giving. 

But now, just like that little pigtailed girl with long, dark auburn hair and big green eyes leading her little sister into mischief, Abbey sat under the tree and pulled the gifts close to her eye one-by-one, shining the light on them for inspection until she found the one that sparked her search - a square-shaped box which outweighed the others by at least 10 pounds. 

Armed with a pair of scissors she had already hidden in her pocket before laying her head to her pillow, she sliced the pieces of Scotch tape at the edge of the wrapping paper, leaving no trace of her misdeed on the paper itself. Her eyes were lit with cheerful curiosity as she finally unwrapped the simple cardboard box. She slit the packaging tape in the center and excitedly pulled up the flaps, her smile suddenly fading with the sight in front of her.

There was no gift inside. A couple of hammers and screwdrivers weighed it down and old newspapers caused it to rattle with every shake. A note on top simply stated, "no peeking until Christmas, Sweet Knees."

"Jackass," she muttered quietly.

"Yes, but I'm a pretty smart Jackass, and I know you very well."

Jed's voice frightened her, causing her to jolt slightly before turning to shine the light at him. "What the hell are you doing?"

His hands shielded his eyes from the intruding rays until she lowered her aim. "Spying. You think I don't know it when you sneak out of bed?" 

"You were sound asleep."

"Yes, but it suddenly got cold. I opened my eyes and saw that my sweet Abigail wasn't beside me keeping me warm." The sweet sentiment could have bought her forgiveness, if he hadn't continued. "The way heat just radiates off your body really is a scientific mystery."

"I hate being tricked," she said flatly.

Oh, how he loved to trick her. "Then I suggest you act like an adult and wait until Christmas morning."

"It is Christmas morning."

"Not until the sun comes up." He brought her hands to his lips, a menacing grin forming with his kiss. "You know, the first time we made love was under the Christmas tree. Remember?"

"I remember." She closed her eyes to savor his warm breath clashing against the exposed skin of her neck while his hands cupped the swells of her breasts. "Jed...Lizzie's in the next room."

"She sleeps through anything," he whispered in her ear as his hands reached behind him for the blanket on the sofa. 

He pressed his body into hers, gently lowering them both to the floor. Her hesitation apparent, she caught her breath and stopped him before he pushed her shoulders to the floor. 

"No...we...Jed, we can't." Her strong voice immediately gave him pause.

"Okay,” he said, confused. “Is something wrong?"

"It's just, we can't. At least not without protection."

"I thought we were trying to have a baby." He climbed off her body and rolled over next to her. "Abbey?"

"It's Lizzie. All of a sudden, she has it in her head that we want another baby because we want to replace her."

"How could she ever think that?"

"The day she and Mandy went through our room, I lectured her about breaking the rules. She asked me if that's why we want another baby."

"She's the one who wanted a sibling."

"I know."

"What made her think something like that?"

"It's not important what made her think it. What's important is that she does think it and until I'm sure that we've reassured her, I think we should take a break."

"Of course." Just the thought of it wounded him to his core. When his brother Jack was born, his parents made no attempt to reach out to him so a young Jed was left all alone to face the same insecurities Lizzie expressed. "I'll talk to her. I'll tell her our love for her is what made us decide to have another baby." 

"I told her that, but maybe you could reinforce it."

"I will." 

She smiled warmly and stretched across him to flip the switch beside him. The darkened room suddenly glowed with dozens of dazzling lights spiraling around the tree. Her chin rested comfortably on his shoulder, his arm reaching over her to cradle her close and tuck her head under his. "In the meantime, let's enjoy the light show." 

And so they did. 

Even the sunlight that soon poured in through the cracks of the blinds didn't disturb their tangled bodies. The only thing that could wake them from their restful sleep was a bundle of enthusiasm wrapped up in a little five-year-old frame. 

"Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!" 

Abbey opened one eye and chuckled at Liz jumping around them, her toes barely touching the ground between hops.

"Hey, Lizzie." She sat up slowly, gently tugging on Jed to join her.

"Did you see him? Did you see Santa? He came!"

Jed scoured the room, his eyes catching a glimpse of the empty glass and plate on the kitchen counter where a snack of milk and cookies had been set out the night before. "Of course he came. And no, your mother and I didn't get to see him." He pulled out three gifts that sat under the tree. "But he did leave us all a little something."

"You wrapped your own gift?" Abbey whispered in his ear.

"Shhh," he whispered back.

Liz tore the paper and opened a small box, letting it fall to the floor beside her as her hands held a clear frosted ornament delicately in front of her. "Ooohhh."

Abbey squinted to get a good look at the silver and white "snow" that tumbled around inside the colorless ball. "Wow, that's beautiful." 

On the outside, soft pink hand-painted trim designed the top and bottom and the center served as the focal point with her name - Lizzie - written with the elegance of calligraphy in the same color. 

Barely able to tear his eyes away from Liz's lively expression, Jed moved closer to Abbey. "Open yours," he ordered softly.

Abbey's ornament sparkled with the same colorless ball filled with silver and white specs of glitter. The chosen color for her name was red, with a holiday frost that made it shine. "You're too much."

"Well, yeah," he replied. 

"And what color is yours?"

He opened his box to proudly pull out his own. "Blue."

He lifted Liz just high enough for Abbey to guide her hand and help her place her ornament on the tree. Once all three were nestled on the soft green needles between the branches, it was time to move on to the other presents, and not a moment to soon for Liz.

She tore through the boxes fast and furiously, taking a second to pause between each one and admire the item inside. A pair of skates caught her attention for a few minutes as she kicked off her slippers to try them on, but soon, she remembered the unopened presents still waiting and returned to her merciless rampage. 

It was a special gift from her mother that really stopped her in her tracks. The big blue eyes on the porcelain-faced doll stared up at her from inside the box. She pulled it out gently as if trying not to disturb a single brown hair or a lacey ruffle on the pink and white outfit she wore. 

"That's the doll my mom gave me when I was a little girl," Abbey told her.

"She's so pretty."

"Yes, she is. Just like you. Now you see why you're my own special baby doll?" 

Ever since their conversation a few days earlier, Abbey ached for the hurt her daughter had been feeling. Of course a doll wouldn't resolve all the uncertainty in the young girl's heart, but she hoped what it represented would reassure Liz of her unconditional love. 

And finally, one more gift among the clutter of wrapping paper and jagged edged-boxes would excite Liz. She pulled free an ice blue dress, a wintertime variation the white summer dress she was desperate to wear to Mandy's party. A dress with the shiny material that shimmered under the light to bring out the deep color of her eyes would have made her happy regardless, but this dress had even more significance because her father had picked it out all by himself. 

Jed spent more time searching for that particular gift than any other. Abbey's presents were much easier to buy since, unlike his daughter, her taste had been ingrained in his mind since they before they married. He had a few questionable selections, no doubt, but fortunately, he managed to please her with his choices.

"There's no more?" Liz asked, peeking under the mangled mess of ripped paper.

"Not until Grandma and Grandpa get here."

"Can Grandfather come too?"

"No."

Liz sensed her father’s firm answer left no room for discussion. With a shrug of her shoulders, she struggled to get her tiny feet inside her new skates.

Abbey took Jed's hand as she held out her wrist to admire the new tennis bracelet he had given her. "I love it. I love all my gifts."

"Me too. I just wish you came all wrapped up with a bow." He bent his head to kiss her sensuously on the lips. "I hate that you have to go to work today."

"I know. But I'll be home for dinner. Do me a favor?"

"Anything."

She turned her stare back to her daughter. "Watch Lizzie today. Don't let her go anywhere by herself."

He pushed his body apart from hers to search for the reasons for her concern. "Sweetie? Did you have a bad dream or something?"

"No, it's nothing like that. I just like to know to know where she is. I mean, it's Christmas. All the kids are out of school and every psychopath in town knows it." Soon she would have to tell him about the day John spent with Liz, but not today. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of ruining their Christmas.

Satisfied with her answer, Jed folded her back into his arms and agreed to her request. Ignorance may be bliss, but revelations of this magnitude couldn't restrain the hot-tempered man inside. Abbey was sure of that. So with an ill-fated smile, reflective of the desire to circumvent problems like this before they upset him, she kept her mouth shut and waited for tomorrow. 

\- - -

That evening, the aroma of a traditional Christmas dinner lingered outside the closed door of the apartment. When Abbey returned from work, she paused before turning the knob to take in the smells that reminded her of family dinners back home, but the familiar scent was soon overshadowed by the delightful image of Jed and both of her parents gathered in the kitchen to prepare the meal together.

Ever since she was a little girl, she dreamed of the day she could bring home a husband to mesh seamlessly into the family. There were times during the parade of boyfriends in high school that she didn't think her fairy tale scenario would ever come to fruition. But then, Jed entered her life and with him, came the fairy tale.

She scanned the room adoringly and realized someone was missing from the lovely family portrait.

"Dinner's almost ready, Babe." His words never registered in her mind.

"Where's Lizzie?"

"She's trying out her new skates at the playground," James answered his daughter.

Abbey tried to hide her alarm, but it was pointless. Her voice cracked with a simple question. "What?" 

"Relax," Jed assured her. "She's wearing a jacket and it's pretty warm today. There's no snow or ice on the ground."

"By herself? Is she there by herself?"

"No, Mandy and her mother are with her."

At least another adult was watching her, she noted, but it wasn't enough to relieve her fears. "I told you not to let her out of your sight!"

"You said not to let her go anywhere alone."

"I meant without you!"

"How was I supposed to know that?" She took quick strides out the door and ran down the steps to the sidewalk with Jed following closely behind. "Abbey, what the hell is going on?"

Heading in the direction of the playground down the street, Abbey kept one hand on her forehead to shelter her eyes from the sunset and another frantically swinging at her side to pick up her pace. "Where are they?" she repeated just loud enough for Jed to hear when she spotted Mandy's mom, Rebecca. "Where's Lizzie?"

Rebecca's look of surprise only intensified Jed's suspicion. "Isn't she at home?" 

"No, she was with you," Jed answered.

"Her grandfather picked her up a little while ago and said he was taking her home."

Abbey separated from the conversation, trying to get a grip on the thoughts and images that ran through her panic-stricken mind. 

"Her grandfather's been with me all afternoon."

She would have preferred a quiet, private place to have this discussion so she could try to control the explosive outburst she expected, but she had no choice. "No, Jed, her other grandfather."

 

TBC


	15. Chapter Fifteen

The unseasonably warm weather couldn't stop the chill that slithered slowly up Abbey's spine at the dreaded words she heard from Rebecca. Liz was with her grandfather, the same grandfather she had been forbidden to see, the same grandfather that had been warned to stay away from her, the same grandfather that undermined her confidence in her parents’ love only weeks before.

The look of confusion that crossed Jed's face was almost unbearable, compounding the guilt she already felt. 

"Her grandfather's been with me all afternoon," Jed said to Rebecca. 

That simple misguided belief was about to be shattered into a million pieces and there was no way to prevent the shards of glass from cutting him deep inside his soul. 

"No, Jed, her other grandfather."

"He wouldn't dare." The words were uttered without any emotion or underlying protest, his resignation prominently shining through his clenched teeth. 

"He already did," she started. "Two weeks ago, he pulled her out of school."

Rebecca stared at the couple, now sensing that something was terribly wrong. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I mean, Lizzie was happy. She introduced us and said he always picks her up, that you would be fine with it..."

Jed abruptly cut her off with a brazen response. "She lied." 

His feet ripped through the grass at warp speed, leaving shredded blades in their wake. Abbey struggled to keep up, but found his fury overpowering. He charged inside their apartment and grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter, then spun around with a type of steely determination she had never seen before.

Out of breath and exhausted from their sprint, she used the energy she had left to block his path to the door. "Don't go. Not like this. You can't drive like this."

"What's going on?" Mary asked.

Abbey kept her eyes glued to her husband, her body planted firmly in front of the exit. "Jed's dad took Lizzie from the playground."

"What? He knows you didn't want her around him, right?" 

"Yes, he knew!" Jed answered his father-in-law. "There's no doubt that he knew!" 

"Do you want me to call the police?" James offered.

"Yes!" Abbey exclaimed.

"No." Jed's response followed immediately.

"Why not?"

The room fell silent as the focus rested solely on Jed. Only he could explain. "Because he's my father, Abbey. And if he's hurt her, I don't want the police there. I'll take care of him myself."

He walked around Abbey, his strides so powerful that she relinquished her quest to stop him. "Jed, wait. I'm going with you."

His body turned immediately, almost colliding with hers as she approached. "How did you know - about what happened two weeks ago - how did you know?"

"Lizzie told me." The soft-spoken admission fueled his anger.

"When?"

"On Thursday."

"Five days ago. Why am I just hearing about it now?" He was eerily calm, the brunt of his rage still aimed towards his father.

She followed him out with the same intensity as before. "We can talk about it later. Lets just go to your Dad's and get her." 

"What makes you so sure he took her back there? We don't even know where the hell we're going!"

"Where else would he have taken her?" Standing next to their car, he glared at her blankly. "Jed, I'm asking you."

"Now you want my input?" he exploded, a small glimmer of blame now evident in his tone. After a few quick breaths to simmer down his temper, he opened his door. "Fine. Lets go."

Abbey held on to the door handle and positioned herself hard against the seat as Jed sped through the streets of Boston. "Please slow down. You're going to get us both killed."

"What did they do?" he asked.

"What?"

"When he took her out of school, what did they do?"

Unable to look at him, she turned her attention to the scenery outside. "They talked." Her teeth pierced hard into her bottom lip, almost breaking the skin. "He's the reason she had doubts about us having another child. He told her we'd take her things and give them to her. He convinced her that we wanted a baby because she wasn't perfect."

There it was. He suspected John Bartlet's infamous mind games hadn't vanished over the years and he was right. The thought of him misleading Liz stirred up a new batch of resentment he had long since buried. 

He slammed his hand on the steering wheel in disgust. "Damn it! Why didn't you tell me?" 

It was a reasonable question, asked with an undercurrent of indignation and audible tension as if holding back some of what he wanted to say.

"I was going to. I just didn't want it to spoil Christmas." Her eyes focused on the road in front of her, her last two words said in a whisper.

He tilted his head to get a clearer view, then stepped on the gas, allowing a few moments to pass before he scoffed his reply. "You didn’t want it to spoil Christmas. How did that work out?”

Okay, so he was being a jerk. She expected it. Jed's anger usually manifested itself with an abundance of sarcastic retorts, expressed exclusively to share the displeasure. She bit her tongue in a valiant effort to prevent things from escalating. Her eyes burned into him for a few minutes, then returned to the window, her hands gripping the seat, tightening their hold at his attempts to dodge between the cars in his lane. He caught her discomfort out of the corner of his eye and released his foot from the gas pedal to reduce his speed.

\- - -

Like a madman, possessed by the need to protect his child, Jed parked the car inches from the front door and stormed inside John's house. A startled Liz sat at the small table in the center of the room, a Candyland card in her hand and a look of shock on her face. John Bartlet stood up and glared right into the spark of fire he saw flickering in Jed's eyes. 

"What are you doing?"

"Getting my daughter." Without a word to Liz, Jed scooped her up in his arms.

Liz struggled to get back down, her legs kicking at the air below her. But with each struggle, Jed tightened his grasp and held her body closer to his own, refusing to let her slip into the lion's den he saw in front of him.

"You're scaring her!" John shouted to his son.

"Stay out of it!" he yelled back. "Elizabeth, stop it! We're going home."

"I don't have my skates!" Lizzie whined. 

"I don't give a damn about your skates!" Jed replied harshly.

It was a tone Liz had never heard before and it was obvious by her sudden intake of breath that she was caught off-guard. As Abbey watched Jed twist her around so she was positioned more securely, she extended her hands, hoping to calm her frantic daughter as she took her out of her father's arms.

"It's okay, baby. Come here."

"Mommy!" Liz cried, burying her face in Abbey's shoulder. 

John was visibly bothered by the scene. "Look what you did! This is my home, Jed. And you will NOT come in here like a psychopath!" 

Jed's temper was only a degree away from the boiling point. "You're lucky I don't have the police here ready to haul your ass away for kidnapping!"

"I didn't kidnap her. She wanted to come with me."

He clenched his fists at his side and took a deep, calming breath, then turned to Abbey. "Take Liz to the car, please." 

It was a request made for Liz's sake more than his own. Abbey reluctantly left him behind as she walked out the door, shutting it to block the little girl's view of the two men.

"She's my daughter. I decide where she goes and when I say she isn't allowed over here without me or Abbey, I mean it." Jed’s forehead twitched with the protruding vein that teased the surface of the skin. 

"We were playing a game. That's all."

"What kind of game? A mind game maybe, like the one you played with her when you pulled her out of school?"

"What mind game?" John asked, his dysfunctional brain genuinely confused.

"You convinced her that Abbey and I wanted another baby because she wasn't good enough."

"I never told her that. Jed, I mean it, I never said that. I love that little girl."

"The way you loved me?" Jed shot back without missing a beat. "Forget it. I'm not going to give you a chance to do to Liz what you did to me."

"What I did to you? What did I do to you except raise you and clothe you and feed you? I sent you to the best schools in the country. I made you the success you are today!" His delusions only served to anger his son more.

Jed pulled his arm back, ready to swing at the elder man, but stopped just short of striking his face. Perhaps it was the Bartlet blood that ran through his veins, or the startled look on John's face that gave him pause, he didn't know. But he lowered his shaking hand to his side, jaded by the impulse that motivated such a physical response.

"I became a success despite your brand of love, not because of it." A master of words, he knew it was better to express his emotions verbally. "It hurt, didn't it - that regardless of what you did to tear me down, I had more promise, more potential than you did?"

John pursed his lips together, fighting the urge to go down a destructive path. "I want to make up for some of the mistakes I made with you. I want to try again with Elizabeth."

"You don't get to use my daughter as a guinea pig to try to fool yourself into believing that you're not absolutely worthless!" 

The unmistakable sound of a physical confrontation echoed through the door, jarring an eavesdropping Abbey. She swung it open with such force that it rattled the frame around it. 

John held Jed against the wall, his back crushed against the plaster. This was the sight she feared. He was still the same man that Jed had known as a child - an intimidating man, not afraid to use his strength when backed into a corner. 

But Jed was no longer a child. He was old enough to fight back. He could fight back. Hell, he could pound his father into the ground if he wanted to, but he never did. He accepted the abuse he had always suffered for reasons escaping Abbey's understanding. But just because he cowered in the little boy mentality striving to be set free in an adult body, didn't mean she had to.

She took a threatening step towards John, causing Jed to violently shrug off his father's grip on his collar and stand in front of her to shield her from his wrath. 

"Don't." And if the verbal plea wasn't enough, the hands Jed held out to keep her back did the job.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Where's Lizzie?"

"She's in the car. I came to get her skates."

"I don't give a damn about those skates."

"Jed, they were a Christmas present," she reminded him. "She doesn't want to leave them behind."

He conceded with a nod and turned his fiery eyes to John. 

"They're on the back porch. I'll go get them."

Abbey snatched the skates from John's hands, paying no attention to the way she scraped them over his skin. She grabbed her husband's arm then, leading him out of the house and into the car. 

Her eyes peered through the back-seat of the window to see Liz staring down at her dangling feet. She opened her own door and sat down, twisting her body to comfort the little girl.

"Lizzie, it's okay, Sweetheart. I got your skates." It was little consolation, but it stopped her sniffles almost immediately. 

\- - -

During the drive home, Jed sat stoically behind the wheel, presumably lost in his thoughts about the events of the evening. "You were right. We should have just called the police," he finally said.

"We still can."

With a roll of his eyes, he dismissed the idea. "It's over. I don't want to revisit it."

She reached behind him to rub his back when she noticed it wasn't pressed against his chair. He wiggled free from her touch, leaving her to wonder if it was because of the physical pain inflicted during the confrontation or the anger he harbored towards her. Probably a little bit of both she surmised.

Her concern was equally divided between Jed and Liz, whose shoeless toes were still wiggling and whose face still donned a helpless frown. Another battle would begin when they arrived home. It was going to be a long night.

 

TBC


	16. Chapter Sixteen

The car came to a screeching halt outside the small Boston apartment on Wigglesworth Street. Jed swung open his door with all his might, his temper still reeling from the events of the evening. With a secure grasp around her arms, he lifted a barefoot Elizabeth out of the backseat. The little girl clung to her father with her nails digging into his shoulder and her head resting on its side as he carried her up the steps.

He closed his eyes at the emotional release that washed over him with her soft touch, her silky hair under his big, strong hands, the feel of her fingers wrapped tightly around the fabric of his sweater. He had her back safe and sound.

Part of him just wanted to hold her like this forever, protecting her from all the evil that lurked just outside the confines of his arms. The other part - the part that had been distraught to the point of near insanity during the hour she wasn't with him - preferred a logistically easier approach, perhaps just locking her in her bedroom for eternity.

He couldn't deny the anger that was still raging inside him. His love for his daughter knew no bounds and his devotion to guarding her from danger had seriously backfired when, to his surprise, the biggest threat to her safety was Lizzie herself. He struggled with the knowledge that his own guilt could possibly outweigh the blame he wanted to direct towards her. 

The harsh words his own father spewed at him during Thanksgiving came rushing back and reluctantly, this time, he gave them some credence. He cherished his daughter like he never thought possible. He had taken the time to get to know her, but in his quest to make her childhood happier than his own, he established himself as her friend, not an authority figure.

The self-doubt that came with Liz's betrayal of the trust he had placed within her, the lie that she told to Mandy's mother, and the complete disregard for the rules her parents had set, wounded him deeply. Abbey warned him long ago that Liz had cast a spell on him the moment she was born and that it would be up to him to find a way to reverse it. He hadn't fully understood those words - until now. 

One of the interesting things about little girls is their uncanny ability to melt the heart of their fathers. Lizzie had learned how to do that perfectly and that ability is what gave her the power to drive her right into the clutches of her grandfather, a man who, despite his self-alleged best intentions, robbed her of her self confidence only weeks earlier.

It was time to get serious.

Abbey had already prepared herself for the worst. She hoped that this time, Jed wouldn't turn the other cheek to Liz's actions. This was too important an incident for him to just pick her up and twirl her around in his arms as if casting aside the terror they felt when she was with John. 

But Jed had no intention of doing that. Despite his own fears of rejection, Liz's well-being was his top priority. He set her down on the ground and followed behind her as she tried to turn the corner to head to her room, gently placing an arm around her elbow to redirect her towards the sofa.

"I told you you weren't allowed to see your grandfather," he began. 

Lizzie stood in front of him and slouched her back to rest her weight against the middle cushion. "I just wanted to play with him."

"I don't care what you wanted. When I tell you you're not allowed to see him, you don't see him. Do you understand?" She stared at the floor in an obvious attempt to ignore his question. "Do you UNDERSTAND?" he repeated, his voice a little louder this time.

Abbey positioned herself on the side, closing the gap between father and daughter as she saw Liz repeatedly lace her fingers around one another. "Lizzie, you know better than to go off with someone - anyone - without telling us. We had this conversation just last week. Why did you do it again?"

"I don't know," she mumbled, a small teardrop hanging off her lashes.

There it was. She had the power to unintentionally manipulate Jed with the girlish vulnerability that usually emerged when she was being disciplined. For the first time, he resisted the urge to comfort her.

"Well, then you'll have plenty of time to think about it," he replied instead. "Two weeks - no TV, no playground, no skating.”

“Nooooooo!”

“Oh yes. And no slumber party at Mandy’s either. Now go to your room." It was said calmly as he took the skates out of Abbey's hands and placed them on the top shelf of the coat closet while the little girl watched, horrified. 

“Nooo,” Lizzie whimpered, standing still, staring at him blankly until he returned her glare and put a bit more force behind his words. 

"I said go to your room."

It was a look comprised of disbelief, shock, and confusion that swept across her five-year-old face. It was a look neither Jed nor Abbey had ever seen before, a look that Liz, herself, didn't expect. Upon the realization that she couldn't soothe his temper with a sweet smile, she took the route furthest from her father to get to her bedroom and slam the door, releasing the floodgate that restrained her tears along the way.

Abbey witnessed the inner turmoil brewing inside her husband's body as he ran his hand furiously through his hair. She recognized his frustration. It had taken every bit of energy within him to restrain himself from losing his temper and screaming at Liz.

Her hand instinctively reached out to him. "Jed."

"Don't," he said softly. "Please don't."

"Okay," she dropped her hand, but remained close. "I was just going to say that you did a good job. You were fair. She needs to learn to listen to us. She needs limits."

"That's easy for you to say, Abbey. I'm the one she hates."

"She could never hate you. She's just upset."

"She's in her room crying right now. Do you hear it?" He watched for Abbey's silent confirmation. "It's the worst sound in the world."

"Yes, it is," she agreed. "Do you want to go talk to her?"

"You go talk to her. You're the one she opens up to."

His bitter reply stung her to the point of concession. She turned away from him and headed into Liz's room. 

\- - -

Elizabeth stretched out on her bed, her face buried under the shelter of her arms. She snapped her head at the sound of the door and immediately greeted her mother with a harsh tone. 

"You told me I wouldn't get in trouble!"

"First of all, watch your tone. Second, I told you you wouldn't get in trouble for telling me about what happened before Christmas. And then I told you something else, didn't I? I told you to never do it again."

"You said you wouldn't tell him!" she complained, her inflection a little more refined this time.

"When you disappeared, you left me no choice." Abbey rested her knee on the mattress and leaned forward to gently brush through Liz's hair with her fingers. "Your dad and I were worried about you. You can't run off like that. When we trust you to go some place with another adult, you can't just lie to them."

Lizzie took a few breaths to calm herself down then elevated her chin on top of her hands. "He said I can't go to Mandy’s party." 

It was obvious she was hoping for Abbey's permission to dismiss Jed's punishment. But that isn’t what she got.

"Yes, he did. And I agree with him." Disappointed, Liz buried her face again, turning away from her mother. "I tried talking to you, Lizzie, and I thought that after our long conversation, you would listen to me. But you didn't. There are no other options."

"Leave me alone!"

Strike two.

She expected to be on the receiving end of Jed's anger, but was a bit surprised by Lizzie's cold reception. With no hope of individually fixing the chaos and trouble in her family, Abbey left the room with renewed motivation inside her. Her eyes met Jed's briefly as she uttered her final words. 

"Your turn."

And with that, she grabbed the car keys and headed out the door, determined to see the man who caused such distress - John Bartlet. 

Jed paced the room, occasionally grabbing onto the sofa's armrest and stretching his body to relieve some of the tension dominating his muscles. As Liz's cries became louder, his pent-up anger gave way to a gentler side, one that only wanted to dry her tears and console her, like he wished someone would have done for him when he was growing up.

The Bartlet house had been a place wrought with false emotions disguising the dysfunctional family relationships inside. The constant battles fought between him and his father usually resulted in sleepless nights for Jed, nurturing the seed of resentment that was planted the first time he fell out of John's good graces. That same kind of resentment was never going to take root in Liz's heart. He wouldn't allow it.

He knocked on her door, opening it slowly when she didn't respond. 

"Hi." Liz lifted her face from the pillow momentarily, giving him a view of the red, puffy eyes she was hiding, but lowered her head when he started speaking. "You know, your mother was just trying to make you feel better. You weren't very nice to her."

Her sobs began to taper off to a softer cry, probably out of sheer exhaustion, though it gave him hope that she wouldn't push him away. Still unresponsive, Liz was quiet while waiting for him to continue. It took several minutes. 

"Why are you crying right now?" he finally asked her. It was a pretty stupid question, he thought. They both knew the answer. But the master wordsmith inside him had suddenly vanished, leaving him lost and confused about how to help the five-year-old.

"Leave me alone," she replied softly.

With his hands gripping her shoulders, he rolled her over. She fought him with her limited strength and pulled herself out of his hold. "Fine. When you feel like talking, let me know." 

This was more Abbey's territory, Jed reminded himself when he left her room. She was the person who could offer soothing hugs to calm Liz when she cried. His solution had always been to buy her ice cream or a new dress to cheer her up. This time, his archaic techniques of masking the problem were out of the question. And since Abbey wasn't around to help, he had to quickly learn how to do what she did so effortlessly. 

Unable to leave her alone for long, he walked back in to Lizzie’s room and took his seat on the edge of her bed, often glancing at her when he heard the gentle whimpers that continued to escape her lips. 

"Still don't feel like talking?" he asked after several minutes. She didn't reply. "Okay." 

And so he sat there. More than twenty minutes of silence passed as he struggled to find a way to comfort his daughter. Each time he opened his mouth, his voice betrayed him until, to his surprise, she made the first move.

“I don't like it when you're mad at me," she mumbled against the fabric of her pillowcase before turning her head to the side.

The sight of her wiping her eyes with the back of her hand generated a few tears of his own. 

"Come here." This time, she held out her hands and let him help her onto his lap. "I don't like it when I'm mad at you either and I really don't like it when you're mad at me. But you know what I don't like even more than that?"

"What?"

"I don't like it when you lie, when you do something we tell you not to, when you cause us to worry about you."

"But he was nice to me and all he wanted to do was play some games."

"That isn't the point. When your mother and I tell you not to do something, we expect you to listen."

"But why?"

"You don't always need to know why. You'll know why when you're older."

"Why can't I know why now?"

"Because I said so." He regretted the impatient tone that was present in his voice, but she didn't challenge him. "Because it's a grown-up thing and I promise I'll tell you when you're a grown-up."

"We were just playing Candyland."

"Lizzie, I'm only going to say this once again. You need to listen to what we say and if you don't listen to us and do what you want anyway, you're going to get in trouble, just like tonight."

"I don't wanna get in trouble."

"Then from now on, you'll have to follow the rules. We're done with the excuses, okay?" He held his breath waiting for her response.

"Okay." It was just one word, but it was said in a soft, contrite manner. Jed was relieved.

She tilted her head against his chest as another awkward silence lingered between them. Finally, desperate to bring them both out of the depressing mood, he asked, "So, did you at least win?"

His head hung low to exchange a glance with her as she lifted her eyes and smiled coyly. "Uh huh."

She would wait to beg him to change his mind about her punishment. For now, she was satisfied sitting in his lap and letting him dab her wet eyes with a couple of tissues. As he threw the tissues onto the nightstand, she tightened her grip around him, but immediately let go when he shuddered at her small hands pressing into the bruised skin on his back. 

The inquisitive look on her face forced him to pull her into another embrace to avoid arousing her suspicion. "It's okay."

\- - -

Meanwhile, like a brewing storm ready to strike with full fury, Abbey repeatedly struck John's doorbell until he answered. He opened it slowly, standing directly behind the frame.

"Abigail?"

"Let me in," she ordered. 

When he hesitated, she slammed her palms on the door, the force of her push causing him to nearly lose his balance. 

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I told you to stay away from Lizzie." All thoughts of John's dangerous physical tendencies were gone. She was setting the tone for this confrontation.

"She wanted to see me!"

"And I told you that was unacceptable!"

"I already explained this to Jed. Perhaps you should talk to him."

"There is no explanation that would excuse what you did - and I'm not just talking about Liz."

"What?"

"Your violent little outburst with your son, it's called assault."

He waved her off, taking a sip of the glass of scotch he held in his hand. "You're crazy."

"He's never stood up to you, has he?" The expression on Jed's face when John held him against the wall had already answered that question for Abbey. Her heart was broken at the thought of any child being raised in such hostile and abusive environment.

"I love Jed. Believe me or not, it's the truth."

"Yeah, I witnessed firsthand how you show it. I'm sure that as a boy, he was intimidated by you."

"Look..."

She raised her voice to interrupt him. "As an adult, he tried to show you some respect. God knows why. Then he let you slide because you were grieving over the death of your wife. He wanted to forgive you. And this is how you repay him?"

"It's a complicated relationship." 

His dismissive attitude only fueled her rage. "He could easily take you down if he wanted to, but you know as well as I do that he wouldn't raise his hand to you because you're his father."

"He's never cared about that before. He's always been a disrespectful..."

"Don't you dare! There is no man more noble, more honorable, more decent than Jed Bartlet. That's the man your wife raised. And the next time you lay a hand on him, I promise you, even he won't be able to stop me." 

"Get out of my house." He approached her daringly, wagging his hand in front of her as a warning.

Abbey fought the urge to aim for his face and smacked the glass out of his hand instead. "Just remember. You're not my father. I won't surrender to a misguided sense of loyalty."

Stunned by her nerve, John watched her leave then closed the door behind her with such force that it sent a shiver up her spine. Her legs, initially unsteady from the adrenaline pumping inside her, became stronger with the sudden realization that she had finally done what she wanted to do for years. She knew her warning may not prevent any future father/son entanglements, but she could temporarily bask in the knowledge that someone finally defended the helpless little boy that still lives inside Jed's mind.

 

TBC


	17. Chapter Seventeen

An emotionally drained Abbey stood motionless at the front door. Her eyes focused on her five-year-old daughter who precariously balanced herself on the tips of her toes, the step stool underneath giving her just enough height to peer down over the top of the salad Jed was preparing. 

"Does it taste better?" he asked after giving Liz a small slice of cucumber.

"A lot!" 

"If you're wrong, I'm telling Mom it's your fault."

The sounds of laughter and teasing that vanished with the earlier turmoil, resonated throughout the apartment once again. Father and daughter were back on track and it was obvious to her, the most intimate outsider, that no amount of manipulation from John Bartlet could cause permanent damage. 

She watched from the corner as Jed wiped the drop of dressing that stained Liz's shirt. With furrowed brows reflective of his deep concentration, he rubbed the material repeatedly, spreading the once-tiny spot over a larger area. It was his look of utter confusion that made Abbey chuckle. Despite her many lessons over the years, he never actually did learn. Still, she was reluctant to intrude on the heartwarming scene and only approached the kitchen when he heard her laugh.

"Hey."

"Hi." Her discretion wasted, she tossed her coat over the back of the sofa and joined them. "Everything back to normal?"

"Almost." 

Lizzie's hands were gripped tightly on Abbey's shoulder, pulling her down to eye level. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I won't do it again."

"Can I have a hug?" she asked, lifting the young girl up into her arms until her feet dangled in the air. "Apology accepted. Thank you."

What had started out as a small dressing stain on Liz's shirt was now smeared on Abbey's sweater. Jed began to dab it with the damp washcloth he was still holding. "I was worried about you. Where did you go?" 

She ripped the cloth out of his hands with a lighthearted smirk. "For a drive. I wanted to clear my head. I'd like to talk later." 

"We will. But right now, dinner is ready. We heated everything up and Lizzie even helped me make a new pot of steamed carrots."

"And salad," Liz reminded him.

"And salad," Jed repeated. "And now that you're home, it's finally time to eat."

The infectious good mood radiating from him was a double-edged sword. Part of her had worried that the argument with his father would be at the crux of their own problems, but the fact that the mere thought of the earlier confrontation now seemed like a distant memory, didn't ease her concern. 

It was the same vicious cycle really. Regardless of his joyful veneer, Jed had never learned to shield himself from John's venom, and when he was stung by the poison, his antidote of choice was avoidance.

Abbey watched as he took his seat. He wasn't a particularly tall man, but his legs coiled around one another when he stretched out under the table so his back could separate from the cushion behind him. She sat next to him, quietly.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"I won't ever lie to you or Mommy again."

He gave his daughter a warm smile beaming with pride. "Good."

"Can I please go to Mandy's party?"

"Nice try, but no."

Liz inflated her lips to twice their normal size. It only took her a few seconds to alter her expression and address him with a sad, disappointed frown. "But I'll cry again.”

Abbey dropped her fork at the five-year-old’s gross attempt at manipulation. Her head snapped towards Jed to prevent him from backing down. 

To her surprise, he was already one step ahead. A tissue in-hand, he reached across the table and handed it to Liz. "Then I guess you'll need this."

His serious reaction caused Liz to burst into laughter and Abbey to breathe a sigh of relief. But it wasn't going to end there. Abbey remembered what it was like to be a little girl like Elizabeth, for she too had her father wrapped around her little finger. It only took a subtle smile to usually get her way. One wink of her eye and his world seemed to transform into a haven of limitless possibilities geared to make her every wish come true. But before she could prepare Jed for the barrage of mischievous schemes his young daughter might try to pull, she had to fix their own problems.

\- - -

That night, Abbey sat at the foot of the bed devoting all her attention to him during his nightly bedtime routine. 

"I'm sorry," she finally said. Jed pulled up his sweatpants, never letting his eyes leave hers. "I'm really sorry," she repeated. "You were right. I was wrong to keep it from you." 

It was rare that either of them outwardly took full responsibility for an argument. Usually, the best way to resolve a fight was for them both to apologize, crack a few jokes, then hit the sheets for the all-important make-up sex. But tonight, there wasn't going to be any of that and they both knew it. 

With a heavy heart after such an emotional day, he replied with the only answer that came immediately to mind. "Fine."

"Please talk to me."

"I haven't said much because when I’m angry, I say things I don’t really mean and I didn’t want to say something I’d regret...something I couldn’t take back. Besides, I'm not sure you want to hear what I have to say." 

"Anything is better than silence."

He abandoned his wish to let the disagreement slip away quietly without any more discussion. "Okay. You’re right, you shouldn’t have kept me in the dark. When we got married, we made a vow to be partners. When Lizzie was born, I thought we were going to be parents - together. I never thought that you’d keep something like this from me.”

“I wish I hadn’t. You have no idea how much I wish I hadn’t.”

“Also, I'm not wild about the precedent you just set. You basically told our daughter that it's okay to keep secrets from me."

"It's not okay. It's not and I'll fix it."

"Did you do it because she asked you to?" She didn't realize he had overheard her earlier conversation in Liz's bedroom. "The walls are pretty thin."

"No, that isn't why. I honestly didn't want it to spoil our holiday. That's all." Her gaze followed him as he sat down on his side of the bed. "Jed, the last run-in you had with your father was at Thanksgiving and I saw what that did to you. I just didn't want a repeat performance. I didn't want him to ruin Christmas for you - for us."

"He told me I wasn't a father," he admitted to her for the first time.

"What?"

"At Thanksgiving. He said that because I never discipline Lizzie, I haven't earned the title."

No wonder he was so closed-off about the incident. It all made sense to her now. As usual, John had latched on to Jed's self-expressed weakness and probed and prodded it until he tore away his last bit of confidence. 

Abbey pulled her knees up under her chin as she shifted her body towards her husband. "Let me ask you something. When you were punishing Lizzie tonight, why did you restrain your temper? Did the thought even cross your mind to lash out at her?"

"I would never do that. She's just a little girl."

It was just the answer she expected from him. 

"On our wedding night, when I told you I was pregnant, you told me that you were terrified because you didn't know what kind of parent you'd be. Tonight, you found out. Your daughter pushed you about as far as she can at this age and you didn't break. YOU didn't break, Jed. John did." 

His own past marred by abuse, Jed's patience was truly a testament to his strength to persevere as a human being, a man, and a father. 

"Every time I look at Lizzie, I don't understand. I try to. I try to explain it to myself to excuse it, but I can't. I don't get how someone can't love their child. Explain it to me, Abbey." 

She shuddered at the stabbing pain she felt at the moment his wounded heart caused his voice to crack just as he breathed her name. "He does love you. I really believe that." 

And though the knowledge was buried deep inside, he knew in some way, she was right. John Bartlet did love his son, but his insecurities held a bottomless pit of resentment. 

His eyes fixated vacantly on the wall ahead as he replied. "Maybe in some kind of lifeboat situation, I'll believe it too." He turned his head slightly to catch her nod in response. "I'm sorry if I overreacted about all this. I know you didn’t expect this to happen.”

She took his hand to help her to her feet. "I would have reacted exactly the same way."

"Yeah, but you're a lot crankier than I am," he teased.

"I love you, Jed," she assured him after she laughed at his attempt at humor. "Forgive me?"

"Do you even have to ask?" He lowered his head to catch her mouth in his for a long, steamy kiss. 

When they pulled away, she clasped his arms and turned him around. It was obvious that she wanted to look at what he didn't want her to see. The slap across her left wrist as his hand grasped hers gave her temporary pause, but it didn't stop her. Instead, she placed her right hand on top of his, gently easing the desperate grip and lifting his fingers to her lips. After a soft kiss to each finger while her eyes burned into him with a reflection of love and concern, he relented.

She gingerly lifted the shirt over the top of his shoulders, barely touching her hands to the blue and purple bruises that outlined his back. With his body turned away from her, his face glowed with the vulnerability of a child. After all these years, he was still mortified by what she was seeing - every mark on his skin wasn't just an external injury. To him, it was evidence of his lack of control and empowerment. To her, it was simply fodder to nurture her hatred towards John and her respect for Jed.

She softened the material as she lowered the hem back down and turned him around. "I'm so sorry." 

"It's not a big deal."

But it was. He believed it just as much as she did. 

"Yes, it is," she argued. "It's a very big deal." 

He didn't need to know that it was such a big deal, in fact, that she stormed John's house just hours earlier. He would never need to know. 

The tears that involuntarily shined Abbey’s eyes were restrained with a few rough blinks. "Do your muscles hurt?"

"No. It's all superficial. Just bruised a little."

"How are you going to sleep tonight?"

"I was hoping we could spoon."

And despite her best efforts, she cracked another smile before taking his hand and leading him to the bed. He settled in on his side, his body facing her. She slipped under the comforter and backed up into his arms, allowing his chin to rest on her shoulder, his hands to meet just below her breasts, and his legs to twist around hers until they were meshed into one another as if they were one. 

His warm breath tickled her neck seductively. He was purposely trying to tease her, probably to lighten the mood before they drifted into a restful slumber. Taking his cue, it was now appropriate to warn him about what was waiting.

"Jed?"

"Mmmm hmmm?" 

"You know Lizzie's not finished trying to manipulate you into letting her go to that party."

"She's not going," he whispered into her hair.

"I just want you to be prepared. She's going to do a lot of pleading over the next few days."

"And you're afraid I'm going to give in."

"The thought did cross my mind."

"Cross it out of your mind. I'm not going to be outfoxed by a five-year-old, no matter how cute and adorable she is. Her plan, whatever it may be, won't work."

"Famous last words."

"Yee have little faith."

"Oh I have faith, Gumdrop. I have faith in the extraordinary powers of a sweet little girl with her heart set on a prize."

"Go to sleep," he ordered, lightheartedly yanking on her hair to spark one more round laughter. "Abbey?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not midnight yet. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," she replied softly after a brief pause.

She closed her eyes as she took in his incredibly alluring scent when he pulled her body even closer to his. In some ways, the platonic gestures of love that entangled them in each other's arms that night were even better than make-up sex. To her, anyway. What she didn't know was that he felt the same.

 

TBC


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Receiving a degree from Harvard Medical School is a feat only attempted by those who truly have the talent and intelligence to persevere in the cutthroat world of medicine. The dedication to the task at hand and the relentless strive towards an ambitious goal is what separates those who succeed from those who fail. It isn't a fate destined to prevail based solely on book smarts and high test scores. It's about having that competitive edge to stand out among the sea of qualified aspiring physicians in order to eventually earn the coveted initials M.D.

Her new rotation beginning in just a few days, Abbey prepared herself to demonstrate those very qualities. But like a soldier in training, she sought more powerful weapons to win the war she knew was coming. She had been assigned to the supervision of Dr. Kyle Nelson once again, and this time, she was equipped for the battles that threatened to make her path to graduation even more miserable. 

Their previous encounters left her depressed, disillusioned, and completely disengaged with the science of medicine. But now, thanks to Jed's support and reassurance, she was armed with immeasurable determination and a steely motivation that would cause the good doctor's ego to crumple. 

And, of course, she had the help of her friend, Nurse Amy Lowell. 

It's an intriguing relationship that sometimes develops between nurses and med school students. In some cases, it's the result of basic professional camaraderie that leads to a bond of friendship. In other cases, nurses who get stung by a doctor on a daily basis, reach out to the struggling student who might be going through the same. In Abbey and Amy's case, it was the latter. 

The hallowed hospital corridors harbored no nurse with a deeper hatred towards Kyle. His smug condescension had probed her easygoing disposition the minute he began his residency. She hadn't seen such mutual disgust towards one person until she met Abbey. 

Both tethered to a small measure of civility out of fear of losing their jobs, they became a sounding board for the other's frustration and a cheerleader for the other’s triumphs. 

Thumbing through patient reports, Amy focused her attention on one particular file. "I'll give you a little tip," she offered Abbey.

"What's that?"

"There's a guy named Bruce Caldwell. He's in room 217. It's the fourth time he's been brought in since Thanksgiving. A slew of ambiguous symptoms and no diagnosis yet."

"What kind of symptoms?"

"You'll have to look it up, but from what I gather, arthritis is the main complaint. They're trying to find the underlying cause. I overheard the attending mention letting the students take a gander at this one, so you might want to get a jump-start on your first assignment."

Nothing could stir Abbey's fascination with the diagnostic process more than two simple little words: "ambiguous symptoms." She thanked Amy, then gathered her files and held them in front of her as she walked towards the exit. 

Round two would begin shortly.

\- - - 

Meanwhile, on the home front, Jed was finding it increasingly difficult to evade the irresistible charms of his angelic daughter. Elizabeth had done just what Abbey suspected she would do to lure her father to surrender and allow her to attend Mandy's party.

With crayons in their hands, they sat side-by-side at the kitchen table and colored one of Lizzie's many Barbie coloring books. Ironically, Jed's artistic abilities were quickly overshadowed by those of his young girl's. Her keen perception for adding the right hues to brighten up the page made his images pale in comparison. 

Of course, Liz took notice of it too. "Don't use brown for the hair, Daddy. She's blonde," she told him. 

"Why blonde?"

"Because all my Barbies are blonde. That's why they're so pretty."

"I happen to think brunettes are even prettier."

Liz turned her head slightly to flash him a warm smile. "But I like blonde. Please color with yellow?"

For a brief moment, father and daughter switched roles as Jed set his crayon down and whined, "I don't want to color anymore."

That afternoon, Lizzie lounged on the sofa with Jed sitting on the floor next to her, precariously holding her fingers in his hand while he tinted her nails with light pink polish. Abbey had taught him how to paint her nails in London and it was a lesson that stayed with him thanks to his daughter's interest in always mimicking her mother's grooming techniques. As each nail was completed, she pulled away from him to admire the shine.

A full day of father/daughter bonding gave a boost to Liz's confidence and convinced her that success was only one drawing away. She was close. His eyes teared up at the sweet picture she drew of the two of them walking on the pedestrian bridge overlooking the Muddy River. He embraced her creativity with a hug and a kiss, but he didn't relent. 

It was time for her next plan. Her small hands dug into his flesh when she attempted to massage his shoulders the way her mother did. He closed his eyes and savored the feeling for just a moment before her rough kneading caused him to jerk away. Regretful about his response, he assured her that she did such a great job that his muscles were finally relaxed. 

But, again, he didn't succumb to her manipulation. 

Jed noticed frustration eating away at Liz as her imaginative mind struggled with the inability to accept defeat. He stifled his desire to let her win, reminding himself that it was his earlier restraint that led to her increasing disobedience.

That evening, Abbey watched him shift uncomfortably on the loveseat, his book held in the same position for several minutes before she finally spoke up. "What are you doing?"

"What?"

"You haven't turned the page in a half hour." She allowed her textbook to collapse on top of her chest so she could pull her glasses off her face. "What's wrong?"

"Lizzie's in her room. She's bored."

"You offered her a book, right? She said she didn't want to join us."

"She's still mad at me."

"Jed." A tilt of her head supported her sympathetic voice. "Honey, this is for the best. She's going to be bored, she's going to be upset, but that's the only way she's going to learn."

"Yeah."

An immediate glimmer of sparkle shined in his eyes as he leapt to his feet. Abbey chuckled at the image of him practically skipping to the coffee table, his hands gripped tightly around the Candyland board and its accessories. 

"Ah, bribery," she noted. 

"She can't go out, she can't watch TV. I hate the thought of her just lying on her bed and staring at her ceiling."

"I get the feeling it's more than that. You're just as excited as she's going to be," she teased him. "You miss playing Candyland, don't you?"

"Okay, I admit it. I haven't played this game in a week."

"She's going to beat you, ya know."

"Not this time." He was firm in his declaration. "This time, I'm prepared."

"What did you do, buy Candyland for Dummies?"

His head spun towards her with a steely glare. "Read your book." 

Abbey responded with a laugh as he called Liz's name. The young girl excitedly sprinted towards her father and took her seat across from him. Jed had already set out the blue gingerbread man for himself and the red one for Liz. The shuffled cards sat in the middle of the board, face-down and ready for retrieval. 

It wasn't just the game that gave Liz pleasure. It was the misguided notion that her father's kindness was actually encouragement, that there was an inkling of possibility that she would get her way. With her hopes built high, her fall would soon be disastrous.

She drew from the deck first and moved her gingerbread man to the appropriate spot on the board. Once Jed took his turn, she began her ill-fated venture.

"Daddy, I'm having fun."

"I am too, Sweetheart."

"I always have fun with you."

Her touching words cracked his voice. "I have fun with you too."

"I wish you were going to Mandy's party. I bet I'd have more fun if you were there too." Since her earlier tricks didn't work, she tried out her new approach.

For a five-year-old, she was good, but she was still no match for him. "Lizzie..."

"Please?" she interrupted before he could deny her again.

"We've been over this. You need to win back our trust and we'll let you do the things that you want to do - well, some of them anyway."

"But the party's on Monday. Please?"

Every time he refused her request he felt the sting as much as she did. His own frustration was now building. "I said no. Now drop it!" 

The small flame of hope that had been burning inside her was suddenly extinguished by his harsh tone. Disappointment was now an understatement in describing her feelings. Now, a mixture of anger, hurt, and betrayal, due to her mistaken impressions, blended together, causing her temper to rise rapidly.

Wanting to continue the game, Jed picked up another card and moved his figurine ahead of hers on the board. With smoldering eyes, she focused on him instead of the game and in one quick motion, she picked up the remainder of the cards and threw them at him.

"I don't wanna play with you!"

Her rebellion struck him to his core, especially coming on the heels of the day they shared together. The cards lay scattered around the table and on the floor next to them. The few that actually brushed by him during her outburst stung him like a knife. 

Abbey rose to her feet, shocked by Liz's actions. "ELIZABETH! You apologize right now!" 

Liz stood up and locked in to her mother's alarmed expression. "Sorry.”

"Clean up the mess and go to your room," Jed replied, heading into his own bedroom as his joy visibly deflated from his body.

\- - -

Unlike Liz's anger, which usually dissipated rather quickly when another subject caught her interest, the blow to Jed's spirit was harder to repair. So when it came time for their traditional Friday night ice cream outing the following day, he stepped back, allowing Abbey to take her instead. 

Abbey was intrigued with the possibility that now presented itself. Up until now, she had been the disciplinarian in the family and because a sweet smile didn't manipulate her the way it did Jed, Lizzie had learned at a very young age that she couldn’t change her mother’s mind. Unfortunately, she mastered the opposite lesson about her father. 

Jed Bartlet's unconditional love was obvious from the day she was born. Even as a toddler, Liz relied on the fact that he was so enamored with her adorable qualities that no matter what she did or said, a simple grin was enough to fix a crack in the foundation of their relationship. 

Thanks to Abbey, she was about to come face-to-face with a new reality.

Pulling her coat over her shoulders as she ran out of her room, it was Jed's nonchalant attitude that stopped her in her tracks. He sat on the sofa reading Abbey's medical textbook. Why was he reading, she wondered. It was Friday night. For her, the biggest pleasure of the week was Friday night's ice cream run with her father. But tonight, he wasn't even dressed for it.

"Ready to go?" Abbey asked her.

"Isn't Daddy coming?"

"Not tonight."

Having only exchanged a few shallow pleasantries since the argument the night before, Jed and Lizzie stared at one another for thirty agonizing seconds before Liz turned around and followed her mother out the door. 

\- - -

A fresh batch of snow covered the ground and made driving a better alternative than their usual walk. Liz sat in her seat, her eyes glued to the scenery outside. It was the only silent car ride Abbey could ever remember sharing with her loquacious daughter. 

"Why didn't Daddy come?" she finally asked, tearing her focus away from the window and towards her mother.

"Why do you think? You hurt his feelings last night." It was obvious the thought made Liz uncomfortable. She twisted away from her, but Abbey continued. "Lizzie, your behavior has been inexcusable. You know as well as I do that you don't deserve to go to that party. Your father has done everything he can to make your punishment easier on you and you've gone out of your way to make him feel bad. He doesn't deserve that."

"I just wanted to go," she said softly, kicking her feet at the air in front of her.

"And he said you can't. So you accept that."

"I hurt his feelings." It was an acknowledgment, not a question.

"It'll be okay." Her motherly instincts kicked in when she heard the guilt in her daughter's statement. "But I don't want to see what I saw last night ever again."

Little girls may have the ability to melt their father's heart, but an often overlooked fact is that fathers sometimes have the exact same affect on their little girl. Lizzie lived and breathed for Jed's love and adoration. As a baby, she cried when he went to school, she lit up when he came home, and she squirmed out of Abbey's arms frequently if it meant Jed was available to hold her instead. 

He was her king. He always had been. And no amount of anger would change that. But in her young mind, Abbey's words led her to believe she may have broken the unique bond she cherished. The very thought frightened her, draining her of her appetite for dessert entirely. 

After twisting her wooden spoon around the small cup of ice cream repeatedly, she gave up. 

"Can we go home?" 

The cold, chocolatey treat she usually enjoyed wasn't the same with the troubling visions running through her brain. The only time Jed hadn't joined her for their traditional weekly outing was when his mother passed away. And then, like now, Liz refused to eat without him. 

Upon their return, Jed heard Abbey's keys jiggling in the lock. He threw his marker aside and hid a pack of flashcards behind his back just as the door opened. "Hey!"

"What are you hiding?" Abbey asked, immediately suspicious of the mischievous look on his face.

"Nothing."

"Jed..." It was the way she said his name that sounded more like a warning than anything else.

Holding out his hands, he presented them to her. "Flashcards! They're great. They're going to help us study tonight."

"I told you not to go to all this trouble."

"And I told you it was no trouble. Now sit down. We only have a week left."

Liz peeled off her coat and watched as her parents took their usual seats on the sofa and loveseat respectively. In the past, she had always been invited to sit next to Jed and help him in quizzing her mother. This time, he underestimated her desire to participate.

Abbey closed her eyes in an attempt to clear her mind, devoting all her concentration to medicine. "Okay, I'm ready."

"I swear, I don't know how you learn all this stuff. I don't think I could remember any of it."

"That's why you're not in med school, Darling."

Jed shuffled through the flashcards searching for an appropriate question. His attention was stalled by the soft voice echoing next to him. It was Lizzie.

"Can I help?"

Her restraint was clear and a twinge of remorse ran through him for not including her initially. "Yeah. Hop on up."

She plopped her palms down on the cushions and pulled herself up by her knees. With his assistance, she settled in and inched her way closer to his seat.

"I'm getting tired of waiting," Abbey teased from across the room.

"Question one. A 59-year-old woman with a 60 pack-year smoking history was diagnosed with lung cancer two months ago. She now enters the hospital in a coma. Her serum calcium is 16 mg/dL. What would be the most useful way to reduce the calcium in this patient rapidly?"

It was the evil undercurrent in his tone that convinced her she was in for a rough night. 

"Furosemide," she answered.

He turned the card around and held it up for her observation. "You got the answer right, but you mispronounced it. I wrote them out phonetically," he proudly declared.

"Close enough."

"It's the medical license exam, Abbey, not an archery match. You don't get points for being close. Right, Lizzie?" 

He placed an arm around Liz's shoulder and looked down at his usually articulate daughter. Her head was turned towards him and her face was buried in his side. Her fingers clung firmly to his sweatshirt.

"It's a written test. I'm not being scored on pronunci..." Abbey trailed off as concern set in.

"Lizzie?" Jed called her name without a verbal response. Instead, she climbed into his lap. Her hands acted as a buffer between her face and his chest. "Elizabeth, you know I love it when you cuddle up like this, but you're still not going to the party."

"Okay."

Okay? She actually said okay without a fight? Something was wrong, he reasoned. 

"Sweetheart?" He attempted to pull her hands away from her eyes, but to no avail.

"I wanted you to take me," she said quietly. "You always take me, every Friday."

"For ice cream? Didn't you have a good time with Mommy?" 

"I wanted you too." She wasn't crying, but her words were laced with sadness. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." 

Her desperate attempt to reconcile was obvious in her tight grasp now that her arms coiled around him.

Holding her closer, he placed a kiss on the top of her head while gently stroking her hair. "It's okay."

"I love you," she breathed at the end of a long sigh of relief. 

He treasured that phrase. It was the confirmation he had been longing for, reassurance that, despite his punishment, she didn't hate him. "I love you too, Angel."

Change comes in excruciating increments to those who want it, Jed always said when interpreting the work of German philosopher Max Weber. It was a slow process and, no doubt, a difficult one to maintain, but, eventually, the road to a new beginning would be paved and father and daughter would embark on a journey to redefine their relationship. 

TBC


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Abbey was dumbfounded and a little startled by the decorations that lined the walls. She threw her coat on the back of the chair, her eyes never leaving her surroundings as she circled around herself. Snowflake cut-outs coupled with streamers woven in the middle hung from corner to corner while a tacky shiny banner greeted the new year. The dining room was littered with party favors. Bits of white confetti sprinkled with glitter were thrown carelessly around the tablecloth. 

Little did she know that though their two-bedroom Boston apartment on Wigglesworth Street wasn't the ideal place for a lavish celebration, tonight, it would be transformed into a setting perfect for a special New Year's Eve slumber party.

Plates and utensils had already been set out and the delicious aroma of a homecooked meal escaped the confines of the kitchen. Oh how she loved it when Jed had dinner waiting. Most of the men she knew expected their wives to do all the cooking, but her husband was exceptionally sensitive about sharing the household chores. So what if he needed assistance when it came to party planning?

"Jed!"

He walked out of Liz's room at the sound of her voice. "Hey, you're home early."

"Yeah. What's going on?"

"What does it look like? It's New Year's Eve and we're going to have our own private celebration right here, just the three of us."

"We are, are we?"

"Yep." He lifted one the top of one of the pots to stir the contents as it simmered. "We're going to start the evening with a three-course meal, which I prepared all by myself. Even Lizzie didn't help me this time."

"Then we better be careful," she teased.

Ignoring her snide comment, he continued. "Then we're going to enjoy a sweet, yet healthy dessert -- carrot cake."

"Well, healthier," she corrected him.

"Then we'll partake in a rousing game of Candyland..." The coffee table was cleared off and ready for the board, she noticed. "...at which time, Sweet Knees, I plan to beat the pants off you."

"And Lizzie?"

"Oh, she'll probably beat us both."

"True. So what's all this?" she asked, referring to the three sleeping bags curled up against the wall.

"That's for later in the evening. We're going to sit back and watch Dick Clark on TV, all three of us in our jammies having our own little slumber party."

Ah, now it all made sense. He was hoping to distract Liz. "You can't say no to her, can you? I thought you said no TV."

"Give me a break. She's not going to Mandy's party and that's what she really wants to do, right? I'll be damned if I'm going to let her mope around here on New Year's Eve."

"So let me get this straight. She doesn't get to go out with her friends. Instead, her punishment is going to be spending the evening with her parents?" Her clever spin took the spring out of his steps towards the kitchen. "Boy if you're not breeding a teenaged mind..."

He interrupted her with a chuckle. "Go change, will you?" 

The festivities of preparing for a brand new year were bittersweet for Abbey. From the second she met Jed, she wanted to make time stand still. Back then, her biggest worry was the night slipping away without the appropriate appreciation for the blossoming emotions she felt inside. Now, the magnificent ball that would drop in Times Square symbolized the passage of moments they would never recover.

Elizabeth would grow older this year, as would she and Jed, the future would be uncertain, and their love, the one constant she could always rely on, may be tested once the changes set in. If only time could be captured in her little glass jar to be released when she was ready to move forward, perhaps it would relieve the somber feelings penetrating through her happiness. 

But the farewell to 1973 wasn't as bleak for the other Bartlets. Intrigued by the activities her father had planned, Liz spent the day fighting her anticipation in favor of her sanity. Jed's boyish giddiness was proof enough that he relished the idea of blessing the arrival of another year with his wife and daughter at his side. Every happy memory he created with his own family took the place of a confrontational one from his childhood.

That's certainly why he went to such great trouble to ensure post-card-perfect quality time during the holidays. At Halloween, Abbey took pride in her husband's unrelenting stubbornness that kept him up all night the night before to help her add the finishing touches to Liz's costume. From Thanksgiving to Christmas to Valentine's Day, Jed was determined to plant a seed of tradition to nurture through the future. 

And tonight, the New Year's tradition would begin. 

With dinner and dessert out of the way, and Liz beating her parents at Candyland, just as they suspected she would, Jed freed up extra space by pushing the furniture out of the way. The trio gathered in front of the television set, rolled up in their sleeping bags with eyes glued to the gigantic block party in New York City.

"Daddy, are we gonna sleep out here all night?"

"Probably not. Your Mom has to get a good night's sleep so she can go to work in the morning." 

If they only realized that Abbey's hectic work schedule would be the cause of many holidays lost in the future, maybe they would have taken extra advantage of this night.

"But we can watch the ball drop out here and maybe the next time we're all on vacation we can have a real slumber party, for the whole night, okay?" Abbey chimed in.

"Okay." Liz stretched out on her stomach in between her parents. Her chin rested on her palms and her eyes peered out over a light dusting of bangs to stare at the TV screen. "I had fun today."

"So did we, Baby Doll."

Jed propped himself up on his elbow facing his daughter. "You know, Lizzie, when I was home from college one year, I went to this New Year's Eve party with some of my friends. I really didn't want to go at first."

"Why?"

"Parties just weren't fun for me."

"They're always fun for me!"

"Well that one ended up being fun for me too."

"How come?"

He paused as his mind conjured up the breathtaking images he had stored deep within his memory. "I met the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world that night." His eyes fixated on Abbey as if obsessed with her every feature. "She had auburn hair that fell to her shoulders and emerald green eyes that shined as beautifully in the dark as they did in the light. She wore this amazing dress of silver sparkles that just made her glow." He shook his head happily at the vivid picture developing in his brain. "Every man in the place noticed her. But I was the one she wanted to talk to."

"Why?"

Her question brought him out of his self-induced daze. "Because she liked me. What do you mean why?"

Lizzie giggled at the sudden sharpness and defensive nature prominent in his voice. 

"Before he goes on, Lizzie, let me tell you what happened to me once," Abbey interrupted, sitting up to recall the special moment. "It was New Year's Eve and I was at this incredibly dull party with my friends and some drunken guys ran right past me. One of them stomped on my toe."

"Did it hurt?"

"Just a little. But then this handsome young man talked me into removing my shoe and letting him take a look. So I did, even though I knew he had no clue what he was doing." Her laugh soon disappeared, replaced by a warm smile, reflective of the one she had seen on Jed's face only seconds earlier. "The sweet look of confusion in his eyes was too good to pass up. He examined my foot and all I could think was that this man was absolutely perfect. I melted at the sweet, gentle way he caressed my skin, the caring tone in his voice when he asked if I was okay as if he was genuinely concerned. He wasn't just incredibly handsome, he really was a prince. My Prince. I fell in love with him right then and there, and I still am."

"That was Daddy," she declared.

"No, I didn't meet your father until the next year," she replied seriously before winking at the young girl.

Her head snapped back, causing her to lose her balance at the power behind the pillow Jed swung at her. Liz didn't need an invitation to join the chaos that ensued. Each armed with a feathery cushion, Jed and Abbey took shots at one another sparingly until both turned their attention to Liz. They alternated between gently hitting the five year old with the soft pillow and tickling her repeatedly until her laughter forced her to lose complete control and surrender flat on the floor. 

"Okay, okay, enough!" Abbey finally called for a truce and helped Liz up to cradle her head in her arms. "Are you okay, Sweetie?"

"Uh huh! Let's do it again!"

"Maybe later," Jed laughed.

"Mommy, am I going to meet a prince one day?"

"Yes, you will."

"And he'll be a Rhodes Scholar, as will you," Jed added.

Abbey slapped the back of his hand, a warning not to interfere in the future. "And you'll get married and have kids of your own."

"I want little girls. Is that what you wanted?"

"I just wanted you."

Since he found out about the ramifications of his father's mind games with Liz, Jed had searched for an opportunity to approach her about the subject a sibling. But tonight, he had to be careful. He didn't want to destroy the memory of the wonderful night he worked so hard to plan. Liz might still be vulnerable, he realized, and so, he proceeded with caution. 

"Lizzie, do you have any idea how happy we were when we found out your Mom was pregnant with you? I don't think you'll never know how much we loved you, even before you were born. And after we met you and now that we got to know you, if it's possible, we love you even more. That's something that's never, ever going to change."

"No matter what?" she asked.

"No matter what," Abbey assured her.

"Even if, someday, your Mom and I have another baby, we're going to love you just like we do now. You're always going to be our special little angel."

Liz latched on to his words, but took a different direction. "I want a little sister."

"You do?" 

"Uh huh. I wanna play with her and do her hair just like Mommy does mine. I want my own Baby Doll." 

She welcomed Abbey's embrace as her hands reached for the doll she was given for Christmas. It had only been a week, but that particular gift held a special place in Liz's heart and it would for years to come. 

Liz fought to stay up the rest of the evening, struggling with her drooping eyelids for hours before she finally relinquished all effort and drifted off to sleep. Jed picked her up and carried her to her room while Abbey began her own bedtime routine.

"She didn't wake up, did she?" she asked when Jed walked into their room.

"She's sound asleep."

"Good." She threw her hands under his arms and brought them up towards his shoulders, her head falling against his chest.

"New Year's Eve 1965. I knew that night you were the woman I was going to marry."

She looked up at him with a small smile outlining her lips. "How could you have known that?"

"Because you were perfect." He leaned down to kiss the top of her nose "You still are. I'll never forget watching you on that platform staring down at the dance floor. My heart skipped a beat. You're so perfect, Abbey. And I don't just mean your body." 

He pressed his lips into her cheek, his thumb gliding over her smooth skin. "I mean this face..." He gently closed her eyes and placed a kiss on her lids. "...these eyes..." His kisses trailed up towards her forehead. "...this brain that's saturated with knowledge. Do you have any idea how turned on I was that night by your incredible wit?" 

Overcome with emotion, her voice caught in her throat. "How long have you been saving this up?"

"It always comes out when I say I love you."

She took a break from the soft, sensuous liplock to reveal a secret of her own. "I knew too. I knew you were the one. You made me feel so complete inside, Jed. You were funny and sweet and handsome, oh so handsome. I stayed up all night just wishing I was still dancing with you."

"Even though I stepped on your toe?"

"I didn't say you weren't a klutz."

"Actually, that night, you did," he reminded her.

"What I won't do to spare your feelings," she joked.

His eyes burned into her. He began brushing the hair away from her face just before his mouth plunged into hers once again. His fingers twisted around the strands of auburn hair that cascaded down to her shoulders. She held him close as she backed herself up until her knees hit the edge of the bed, allowing her to collapse onto the mattress with him on top. 

Refusing to release contact between their lips, Jed pulled her up to the head of the bed, comfortably positioning her on a pillow. He paused briefly, captivated by her radiant beauty. "You are so incredibly gorgeous, Abbey."

"I love you," she breathed with a deep, warm breath against his shoulders as she lifted his shirt over his head, exploring his naked flesh with her fingers.

His hands wrapped themselves around the straps of her pajamas, pulling it down slowly over her breasts. He grabbed the bottom of the hem and slid it down her body, tossing it carelessly onto the floor, along with her bra and panties then turned his attention to his own. 

Starting at her ankles, he placed a trail of kisses up her frame, enveloped in her sweet scent along the way. He sucked on her neck, causing her to throw her head back, denting the even surface of the mattress. The friction between their bodies at the boiling point, he entered her slowly, gently, his thrusts moving to a much softer rhythm than ever before. He grinded himself against her with deliberate ease while his hot breath burned her tongue. 

Every twist of his body brushed the flesh between her legs. Every meticulous movement inside her grazed the area accessible by only the deepest penetration as he braced himself to glide in as far as he could before dropping on top of her once again. The back of her hands bearing down beside her head, he pressed his palm into hers, lacing their fingers as her body began to tremble towards an explosive ending. She closed the gap and squeezed their hands together. He picked up his pace at her urging and joined her in climax. 

She used her own mouth to hold on tightly to his, intercepting his moans, just as he was doing with hers. Finally, after breathing each others names into their joined lips, his shoulders sunk sluggishly onto hers as all his energy seeped out. 

Ironically, the slower, less powerful movements didn't deter the erupting sensations and, in some ways, even made the climax more satisfying.

Jed fell beside her. His arms still held her against his chest. Abbey caught her breath, then closed her eyes, savoring the moment for eternity. It was just after midnight and that signaled a new beginning. The man she loved was in her arms and the daughter she adored was in the next room. 

It might be the end of 1973, but 1974 would be an even better year.

 

TBC


	20. Chapter Twenty

"Okay, so anyone want to venture a guess?" 

Dr. Kyle Nelson stood in front the students in that smug, calculating way he usually did to intimidate them. He used his pen to doodle unimportant facts down on his clipboard in an unsuccessful effort to appear prominent and professional. But this meeting was different. This time, Kyle wasn't calling all the shots. The confusing case of Bruce Caldwell drew the attention of many doctors, and so for this round, the patient's attending physician was eager to hear the observations.

Dr. Joe Brady sat quietly while the group explored the diagnostic process.

"Anyone?" Kyle asked again.

"His fingers are swollen," one of the students began. "He has arthritis, he's complaining of pain and fatigue."

"I didn't ask for a review of the symptoms," Kyle replied coolly. "We already know about his numerous complaints and we also have the results of his tests. Given the information that you have, what would be your diagnosis?"

Unsure that her assumption was correct, Abbey repressed her desire to answer while she analyzed the symptoms once more in her mind. 

"Could be just arthritis," another student suggested.

"No, it couldn't." Of that, Abbey was sure. "His antinuclear antibody is positive."

"ANA doesn't give us a definitive answer, Bartlet. It could be a false positive," Kyle reminded her.

She countered his argument with the research she had done since Amy tipped her off days earlier. "False positive readings generally fall into the 1:80 category. His is 1:10240. The higher the titer, the greater the chance of an autoimmune disease."

"Bartlet is right for once." His voice was saturated in arrogance. "And so Bruce Caldwell's diagnosis appears to be Rheumatoid Arthritis."

"I disagree, Doctor," Abbey quickly replied.

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's not RA. At least, in my opinion. He has calcium deposits under his skin and the skin around his arms and fingers is extremely tight and dry."

"So he has dry skin."

She didn't need consultation to continue. "Also, his ANA isn't the only thing that tested positive. So did the SCL-70."

"Are you suggesting lung disease?"

"As the result of Scleroderma." Was she being overconfident, she wondered. "...possibly," she added.

"This, students, is what's known as the Zebra theory. The number one rule in medicine is that the most likely diagnosis is the correct diagnosis. Inexperienced physicians end up looking for hidden symptoms or outlandish causes and create drama and mystery where there isn't any, in an attempt to diagnose extremely rare diseases - like Scleroderma, a disease that affects so few people that most have never even heard of it, a disease that primarily affects women, not men, and certainly not men like Bruce Caldwell. It's interesting the way you led us down that road, Bartlet." He walked past her only to spin around and confront her once more. "But you're wrong."

"Actually, Dr. Nelson, she's absolutely correct." Kyle and Abbey both gasped at Dr. Brady's admission. "Scleroderma is my diagnosis as well for all the reasons she stated and ones that she left out, which I have outlined here on my chart, if you'd like to take a look, maybe educate yourself on the disease." That little dig brought a smile to Abbey's face, though his conclusion was even more satisfying. "Very well done, Bartlet."

"Thank you. I have done research on Scleroderma and I even copied a few pages from a pamphlet I picked up." She passed the literature around to her peers and even smirked when Kyle rejected his. "It is a rare disease, but being rare doesn't mean it's nonexistent."

"Excellent point," Brady congratulated her once again. 

As the students filed out, Abbey brushed by Kyle, briefly stopping to whisper in his year. "I know you're just a resident, Doctor, but the least you can do is PRETEND to be a competent one." She echoed the same words he spewed at her during her last rotation. 

Kyle grinded his teeth together to suppress the anger that churned through his ice cold veins. The fact that he felt humiliated was only the tip of the iceberg. His biggest complaint was that it was a woman who outsmarted him, a woman who was able to turn the head and interest of his superior, and a woman who managed to help educate the other students, the ones for which he was responsible. 

His temper brewed under the surface of an eerily calm veneer. But it was only a matter of time before he'd fail to keep it concealed. 

Abbey was riding high on a wave of self-assurance. With her confidence back, she was no longer afraid to offer her opinion, but her reluctance to hold back would begin a new chapter in her indignant relationship with Kyle. 

Later, while examining another patient, red lights flashed in her head at Dr. Nelson's orders. 

"Give her Phenergan, 50 mg," he said.

"Doctor, she has epilepsy," Abbey interfered. "You could kill her!"

Kyle dropped his clipboard, stunned by the authoritative tone of her voice. He picked up the chart and read it over once more, mentally taking note that Abbey's observation was correct. He demanded a different drug as he led the aspiring female physician into an empty adjoining room. 

"That's twice today. Don't ever do that again," he warned her.

But Abbey's trust in her own medical knowledge wouldn't allow her to cower to his manipulation. "You were wrong - both about the diagnosis and the medication."

"Don't ever use that language in front of a patient! You just opened us up to one hell of a liability suit! You're a student, Bartlet! You're not an expert." He slammed his fist against the wall and took a deep, calming breath. "Why don't you go to nursing school and leave the real medicine to me?"

She sensed the conversation getting away from her, taking a turn she didn't want to take. "Get out of my way." His hand firmly planted on her shoulder, he held her back when she tried to walk around him.

"This is my career!" he taunted her in a low, threatening voice.

"And it's mine too!" she countered, staring right through his eyes as she tried to escape his grasp.

"You only get one warning. Don't ever do that again," he repeated with a strong shake which nearly knocked her off her feet as he pushed her back. 

Her shoulder crashed into the cabinet beside her, but she rebounded quickly from the pain. 

"Or you'll be sorry," he finished. 

Emotionally paralyzed by his physical contact, her feet remained still while her body trembled. She tore off her lab coat and ran out the door only moments after he left. 

\- - -

Jed Bartlet had many talents, but at the root of all his skills was the extraordinary love he had for teaching. It had been a trait that, as an eight-year-old, earned him many friends. He tried desperately to hide his intellect for fear of losing the respect of others, much like his own father. But when a classmate needed help answering that all-too-difficult Algebra question or interpreting the complexities of Shakespearean literature, he would give of his own time selflessly, the most significant reward being the look on the person's face when they mastered the problem.

Twenty years later, standing in front of his Introduction to Global Economics class, he felt the same flash of gratification that inspired him as a boy. But on this day, he stopped his lecture prematurely when he caught a glimpse at the vision in the hallway. It was Abbey.

Hair tousled slightly, her eyes brimming with redness as they usually did when she was upset, he released his students early and rushed to his wife's side. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have interrupted your class," she said, her usual strong and secure demeanor quickly fading as they walked down the snowy concrete path across the campus.

"Don't be ridiculous. What happened?"

"It's nothing. I overreacted."

Jed stopped her with a hand to her arm. "To what?"

"I just had a run-in with Kyle Nelson again. We clashed earlier on a diagnosis, and then later on one of his orders. This time, he got a little physical. It kind of threw me for a loop."

"What do you mean physical?" His explosive temper was starting to rear its dangerous head. "Did that son of a bitch hurt you?"

"No, he just shook me up a little, literally." She chased after him as he rushed towards the parking lot. "Jed, wait! Please!"

"It stops here, Abbey! You told me not to go after him last time, but now he's gone too far. I don't care about your reservations this time!"

"No, you can't! Jed!"

Despite his reluctance, the recognizable pleading caused him to stop and approach her slowly. He couldn't leave her so vulnerable and upset. "Why don't you want me to go down there? What are you afraid of? Are you scared he'll retaliate?"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is for a woman to get through medical school? Do you know how many women begin and how many actually finish?"

"I'm beginning to learn."

"I've already learned. I'm barely holding on by the tips of my fingers. I'm trying to scratch and claw my way back to the top of my class. Jed, if you go down there now, you're going to make it even more difficult for me."

It was the 1970s and while women were breaking barriers and crashing through the glass ceilings in many professions, some of them were taunted and even intimidated into taking a likely detour from their chosen goals. 

Abbey had heard about other female medical school students changing direction and entering nursing school instead. Aspiring lawyers, discouraged by not receiving the same respect offered to their male counterparts, often settled for careers as a paralegal. A student of Jed's strived towards the police academy, but dropped out when she was told she'd be better suited as a crossing guard instead of a detective. The Bartlets both knew that women who held on to their beliefs without abandoning their ambition sometimes had to make sacrifices just to succeed. 

With her USMLE exam only days away, Abbey opted to forgo the hassle that accompanied a formal complaint in favor of devoting her time, energy, and concentration to getting through her exam and this rotation with her confidence still intact. It was a decision Jed didn't quite understand, but one that he didn't have to. His job was to simply support her. And that he did. 

He folded her up into his arms and stroked her satiny strands of auburn hair as he comforted her. "I would give anything to make this easier on you. The way some men treat women, Abbey...if I could change it, I swear I would."

"I know." 

And she did. Jed's dedication to celebrating equality for women is one of the first things Abbey had noticed about him. It was one of the first things she praised, and one of the first things that made her fall deeply, passionately in love.

His chin rested on top of her head after she pushed herself into him to secure her grip. 

\- - -

A few days passed and the sting of her confrontation with Kyle was slowly beginning to lose its prominent place in Abbey's thoughts. The sound of Jed and Liz laughing in the kitchen woke her from her sleep. With a quick glance at the clock, she realized it was time to start the day. And on this day, she would take step one of the three-step United States Medical Licensing Exam. 

Jed heard her stirring around the bedroom and signaled Liz. The little girl wrapped both her small hands around the knob and opened the door slowly, smiling at her mother's face staring back at her.

"Good morning!" she called out.

"Good morning to you! Get over here and give me a kiss."

Liz ran to the edge of the bed and jumped on to the mattress. She leapt into Abbey's arms before she could catch her breath from the jolt. 

"Daddy made breakfast."

"Mmm, I smell it. We'll have to go out there in a few minutes."

"Don't bother." Jed poked his head through the crack of the door before walking in with a tray full of Abbey's favorite breakfast treats.

"Jed, you didn't have to..."

"We wanted to. Didn't we, Lizzie?"

"Uh huh!"

"A big breakfast is going to help you ace this exam."

"No amount of food can do for me what you did." Jed set the tray in front of her and waved his hand dismissively. "I'm serious, Jed. All the all-night study sessions, the quizzes, those damn flashcards, and most importantly, the fact that you really believed in me...thank you." She tilted her head forward to kiss Liz. "And thank you too, Miss Lizzie. You were as big a help as your Daddy."

"Are you gonna pass?" the little girl asked.

"Of course she's going to pass - with flying colors!"

"I really think I am. I've never felt more confident," Abbey added.

"And when you get home tonight, I'm going to tell you all about Elliot Roush."

She began to sip a glass of orange juice. "Who is Elliot Roush?"

"He's an idiot." 

"Daddy's been mad at him all morning." Liz took the piece of toast Abbey offered her.

"I better not have detected any snippiness in your voice, Lizzie, or I'm going to make you pay for the ice cream tonight."

She loved it when her father teased her. It was just another nuance of their close relationship.

"Anyway, he's a New Hampshire state legislator who needs to get his head out of his ass." His nostrils flaring, he sighed. "But we're not going to talk about him anymore this morning."

The tray was positioned between them until he moved it slightly to stretch out next to Abbey. Liz sat on her mother's lap and began filling her parents in on kindergarten gossip as Jed and Abbey shared another piece of toast while Abbey fed Liz a forkful of eggs. 

The sweet interaction eased any residual anxiety Abbey had been feeling. All signs of stress now vanished and she was ready to tackle the exam that would determine her future.

 

TBC


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: Back Home Again

Chapter 21

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Previously: Kyle got physical after Abbey disputed his decision on two separate patients; Abbey prepared to take the USMLE

Summary: Liz has a confession; A New Hampshire legislator irks Jed; Abbey has a very special Valentine's Day present for Jed

\- - -

Jed Bartlet was usually a man of many words, but at times, his gift for gab could be stunned into suppression, just like it had been tonight. Jed sat at the kitchen table with his newspaper laid out in front of him. Abbey took note of his glasses inching their way down his nose as his brows repeatedly moved, expressive of the different emotions that ran through him with every line he read. 

Sitting at the other end while preparing Valentine's cards for her classmates, Liz's head was slightly raised and a soft giggle escaped her lips every time her father moaned with displeasure. In between the rampant sighs, pangs of guilt manipulated her own emotions, sparking an uneasiness in her that was caught by Abbey's intruding eyes.

"Lizzie?"

She looked up at her mother with her face scrunched, proof of her apprehension. "If I tell you something, will I get in trouble?"

Concern taking over, Jed dropped his newspaper just as quickly as Abbey dropped her pen. "What did you do?" 

"I lied," Liz admitted softly. Her eyes glazed over one parent and turned to another. She had their undivided attention. "It's just...there were these boys at school who were making fun of this girl because she was fat. And they really hurt her feelings."

Abbey pushed aside the envelope she was addressing so she could prop her head on her hand. "They did?"

"Uh huh. They made her sad and she wouldn't even play at recess. So when we were at the playground, I told them that my Mommy's a doctor and she said that fat people are smarter than skinny people because their brains are bigger."

"Lizzie, I never told you that."

"I know."

"That's where the lie comes in, Babe," Jed whispered to Abbey, teasingly.

"I'm sorry. But they were really being mean..." Liz lowered her head and muttered, "and she cried."

Her daughter's distress evident in her posture, as well as in her voice, Abbey gently stroked her hair as a show of support. "So what happened after you told them that?" 

"They stopped! And Jessica felt better because she played on the swings with me." Her gaze fell to her fingers which were still curled around a crayon. "Am I gonna get in trouble?"

Jed exchanged a glance with Abbey to reassure himself before answering. "No, not this time."

"How come?"

'Dangerous' was a pretty good term to describe the possible ramifications of sending mixed signals to a crafty young girl like Elizabeth. At her tender age, misconstruing their good intentions in favor of her own rebellion wasn't exactly out of character. 

"Lizzie, lying is always wrong," Abbey started. "...but your heart was in the right place. You stood up for the other little girl and that's a really good thing." She responded to her daughter's smile with one of her own. "And you know what else?"

"What?"

"You came home and told us about it. And that tells me that you learned something. You're really trying, Sweetheart, and I'm very proud of you," she concluded with a hug.

"Yeah, what she said." Jed copped out and used Abbey's words to express his own as he approached Liz. "Only I'm going to add a kiss."

She laughed against the stubble that tickled her chin when he tilted her head to kiss her. After he finished, Abbey subtly handed Liz a small piece of chocolate from inside the box of candy she bought her as an early Valentine's Day treat. 

"Hey!" Outrage seeped out of him as he spun towards mother and daughter. "You told me I couldn't give her candy until tomorrow."

"Yeah." She had told him that.

"But you just gave her candy." 

"Yeah." She had just done that.

It was one of those situations that drove him out of his mind. Confusion set in at her nonchalant attitude surrounding her hypocrisy. "So?"

"I'm her mother," she replied simply as if she thought that reasoning would bode well with him.

Refusing to be outdone, Jed huffed his way into their bedroom and returned with a box three times the size of Abbey's. Abbey closed her eyes in sheer disbelief as he handed it to Liz.

"Here you go, Sweetheart. Happy Valentine's Day."

"Don't you dare!" Abbey warned with one hand on top of the box before Liz could open it. "You've already had some cookies and a slice of cake after dinner, not to mention the SMALL piece of chocolate I just gave you." The extra emphasis was for Jed's benefit, of course. She glared at him before continuing. "Tomorrow, she can have more."

"Okay." He conceded with an insincere nod and a dramatic sigh.

That wasn't the end of it. She knew that, but she could pretend she didn't as she walked away to give him a chance to spoil their daughter. He watched her alter her focus slightly, giving him an opportunity to slip his fingers inside the heart-shaped box and pull out a Cherry Royale for Liz. 

"So what were you reading that got you so worked up?" Abbey asked, collapsing onto the sofa.

"Elliot Roush again. He's a complete imbecile, Abbey."

"What did he do now?"

"It's what he wants to do. He's fighting new legislation which would repeal the sodomy laws in the state."

"Jed..." she tilted her head towards Liz, who was as attentive as ever.

"She has no clue what it means."

"Still."

With a softer voice, he persisted. "Anyway, if he's going to fight it, he's going to fight it, but what I hate is his excuse for trying to rid himself of the impression that he's a homophobe."

"He's citing the Church?"

"Absolutely. Claiming that his Bible condemns homosexuality and, therefore, so should the rest of the world."

"Give me a break." The outrage was mutual. "The Bible doesn't legislate what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom."

"Of course it doesn't! And these laws aren't even restrictive to just homosexual couples. New Hampshire didn't repeal their sodomy laws against heterosexual couples until just last year. I'm sure he fought that legislation tooth and nail because God forbid Elliot Roush not have a say in what happens in every bedroom in America."

Abbey was unresponsive as she tried to remember Roush's previous political maneuvers. "Is this the same man who fought Roe versus Wade with protests staged all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, then came back to New Hampshire after it passed to work behind the scenes to restrict it using the state Constitution?"

"The very one. You see why I'm so riled up?"

"Exploiting religious doctrine for his own political gain...that just furiates me! Hasn't he ever heard of Separation of Church and State?"

"Apparently not." Jed handed her the newspaper, pointing to the article regarding Roush. "And who the hell are these constituents who keep electing him to lead? They obviously can't be trusted to vote."

"So what are you going to do about it?" 

Jed Bartlet was not a man to surrender his own beliefs to those of someone else. "I'm going to write him a letter and the phrase '1930s Germany' will figure in prominently. You want to help me, Lizzie?"

Liz looked up as pieces of chocolate and gooey cherry dripped from her lips. "Huh?"

Abbey's serious expression wiped Jed's smirk from his face. "You're like a little boy. If I give her chocolate, you have to give her chocolate." She may have known he was going to do it, but it was fun teasing him. 

"Well, yeah."

His free admission brought a smile to her face. "Now you get to clean her up."

"Come on, Lizzie, after we wash you up, you can help Daddy with a letter."

"On the typewriter?" she asked with enthusiasm.

"Yep, on the typewriter."

The manual typewriter Jed used for his professional correspondence always fascinated Elizabeth. As a toddler, she would sit in his lap and press the keys he pointed to. That was how he first introduced her to letters and taught her how to read. Typing her father's keys and watching them appear to form words on the paper in front of her had motivated her to pursue books like Cat in the Hat so she could eventually flaunt her own capabilities. Sure, it was a slower, more tedious process for him, but it was worth the effort to teach Liz to appreciate the written word.

And now, she was still his little helper, sitting beside him and typing out the words while sounding them out all on her own. She wasn't just getting a reading lesson. She would be learning about life and politics and the importance of defending one's convictions at the same time. And in the Bartlet family, a lesson learned was a lesson shared. 

\- - -

The next day was a special one for Jed and Abbey. Throughout the year, they never missed a moment to remind themselves of their special Valentine, but on a day that was devoted to love, theirs shined in remarkable ways. This year more than any other. 

When Jed returned from work, he was amazed by the transformation in the apartment. The home was entirely lit by candles. Soft music played in the stereo and as he approached to hear the lyrics, his heart raced with the vibrations. 

In This Life.

It was the song they danced to for the very first time as husband and wife. Abbey had popped in a cassette and looped the song four times. 

He looked towards the dining table which had already been set. The crystal plates sparkled with tiny red and pink hearts and a small gift wrapped present sat on Jed's chair, a big box of assorted chocolates underneath. 

On top of everything else lay an official letter from the National Board of Medical Examiners. He picked it up to see that Abbey had highlighted her USMLE score for his inspection. From what he had read about the scoring system, hers -- a 240 -- was in the top percentile, as was her standing. The message "I couldn't have done it without you. Love, A" dominated the bottom of the form and made him chuckle with pride, not because of her misdirected gratitude, but just simply because of her.

Next to the letter was a drawing. The charm of the amateur heart drawn around the words "I love you Mommy and Daddy," brought tears to his eyes. He wasn't sure what touched him more -- the fact that Liz had created such a lovely picture or the fact that Abbey had incorporated it into their evening.

He sensed the romantic scene was just a prelude for what lay ahead. The beauty of the decorations couldn't hold a candle to Abbey, whose flame radiated from every inch of her body as she framed herself in the bedroom doorway. His eyes moved from her stiletto heels to the sheer pantyhose above. The hem of her black, spaghetti-strapped dress stopped just above her knee. A red scarf belted her at the waist and added a splash of color to her middle, not that he could focus on that when her sweetheart neckline accentuated every curve of her cleavage. 

Auburn locks danced just past her shoulders and her passionate green eyes locked into his before she began speaking. "What took you so long?"

"Had I known...wow. I can't believe how gorgeous you are."

"Lizzie's at my parent's until tomorrow." She sauntered towards him seductively, taunting him with every move. "We have the whole evening."

"Let's skip everything else and go straight to bed." He couldn't resist not pulling her in for a kiss. 

Just as quickly as he grabbed her, she pulled out of his liplock and braced herself for what was coming. "We will. But first, I have a surprise for you." 

"Abbey, please. We'll do gifts later."

"This is kind of important," she insisted.

His impatience getting the best of him, he tore open the box with full force and pulled out a calendar. At her urging, he flipped through the pages until he landed on September to see the twenty-fourth day of the month had been circled with a red pen. Still unaware of the significance, he looked to her for an explanation. "I don't get it."

"Remember not to make plans for that day."

"Why?"

"Just thought you'd want to be there when I have our baby." The calendar slipped through his fingers. Once again, he was struggling with words. "Jed, I'm pregnant."

They had been trying to conceive for months, so it wasn't a complete shock, but tonight of all nights, that wasn't the phrase he was expecting to hear. "Wh...when?" 

"New Year's Eve."

His voice caught in his throat before he could respond. Last time she delivered this news, uncertainty plagued his conscience. This time, it was pure joy that kept him silent. Abbey took a few cautious steps towards him, startled when he grabbed her in his arms and spun her around.

"Oh God, Abbey. I'm...I can't even talk." He set her back down, his hands still trembling and his face beaming with happiness. "Really? You're sure?" 

"I'm sure." She cast aside the chocolates and stood behind him when he fought to keep his balance by holding on to a chair and slowly gliding down. "Maybe not tonight, but at some point, we need to discuss some of the logistics."

"Like what?"

She leaned forward to nuzzle her face to his neck, her warm breath beating down on his skin. "Like I was thinking with two kids, we might want to look into buying a house."

"A house is good," he agreed.

"Maybe not here."

"Where?"

"The suburbs? Some place outside the city, maybe even outside Massachusetts. Lizzie's almost six. She needs a backyard, a place to play without us having to worry about her."

It was an uphill battle for him, fighting to concentrate on her words rather than the wonderful image of her holding another baby. 

Her hands dug into his muscles, gently massaging them. "Thanks to you, my USMLE score is going to really help me get in to just about any hospital I want."

He jumped to his feet and cupped her face in his hands. "I love you so much. I don't care where we live."

"We still have time to figure it all out. But tonight, let's just celebrate."

With a nod at her suggestion, he sealed his response with a kiss. Before he could pull himself away, her hands gripped the back of his head, forcing him to press his body harder into hers. 

They would soon tell Liz to expect a little sibling. Eventually, they would debate the merits of a move. But tonight, their only goal was to wrap their minds around the idea of change. In several months, Abbey would begin her fourth year of medical school and prepare for graduation. Jed would apply for a position with a new university closer to wherever she would complete her residency. And in seven short months, they would welcome the newest Bartlet into the world. 

Abbey reminded herself of the words that echoed through her mind on New Year's Eve. As something wonderful ends, something even better begins. She struggled to believe it at the time, but now she really considered the possibility. It might very well be true. 

 

The End

To be continued in Endings and Beginnings


End file.
